"This is our bestseller.” “You should get this one instead; it’s stronger.” “This one costs more — but it’s way better!” In adult retail, sweeping statements like these can sound impersonal and make shoppers feel rushed, unseen and unsupported. The hard-sell approach might sometimes result in sales, but aggressive selling can also lead to regrets, returns, or customers who never come back.
The soft sell, on the other hand, replaces pressure with permission. Here are some tips for practicing the soft sell and creating a space where customers feel comfortable asking questions, exploring their curiosity and discovering products they didn’t even know existed — without feeling pressured.
Soft selling means accepting that not every interaction needs to end with a sale.
Take It Slow
The first step is learning to slow down. Many sales associates feel pressured to move customer interactions along quickly, especially during busy times, but rapidly listing features without pausing to check in or ask questions shifts the focus from the customer to the product. Give customers time to look at a product without constantly barraging them with information. Silence isn’t a sign of poor salesmanship; it gives customers a chance to process what they’re feeling and decide what they really want.
Give Them Space
Soft selling goes beyond words. It includes body language and store atmosphere. Maintaining an open posture, relaxed eye contact and a calm manner helps set the emotional tone of the interaction. Be careful not to stand too close or follow customers aggressively around the store. Allowing them physical space shows respect and reinforces the idea that the store is a place to explore safely and comfortably.
Soft Questions
Asking the right questions and listening to customers’ answers is another key part of soft selling. Instead of jumping right in with product recommendations, begin with open-ended prompts that encourage conversation. Questions like “What brings you in today?” or “Are you shopping for yourself or with someone else in mind?” give customers control over how much they want to share. From there, follow-up questions like “Is this more about curiosity, comfort or solving a specific issue?” can gently narrow the focus. These questions demonstrate care and attentiveness, not interrogation, and they help associates tailor suggestions that feel relevant.
The same goes for a customer’s questions. Handling objections or hesitations is another area where soft selling works well. When a customer raises concerns about price, size, intensity or experience level, resist the temptation to respond automatically or glibly. First, acknowledge their concern: “That makes sense,” or “A lot of people wonder about that.” Then provide context or options without dismissing their hesitation. This method validates the customer’s feelings and keeps the conversation friendly and cooperative rather than confrontational.
Shoppers’ Love Language
Language choice also plays a significant role. Soft selling depends on neutral, inclusive phrasing that avoids assumptions and absolutes. Words like “some,” “many” and “often” leave space for personal preference, while phrases such as “you might enjoy” or “this could be a good fit if…” keep the customer in control. Avoid superlatives like “best,” “strongest” or “most popular,” since those can bring on comparison fatigue. Instead, describe what a product is designed to do and who it tends to work well for, while recognizing that bodies, desires and comfort levels vary. Never make assumptions about what someone might want or need based on their appearance, gender presentation or relationship status.
Highlighting Features
Soft selling doesn’t mean withholding information. Product education remains crucial — but how you deliver it matters. Instead of rattling off every feature all at once, emphasize what’s most relevant to the customer’s expressed needs. For example, if a shopper mentions sensitivity or discomfort, highlight materials, flexibility, or gentler-intensity options. If they bring up discretion or ease of use, discuss size, noise level or charging style. Sharing information should feel responsive, not scripted. When customers feel heard, they’re more likely to trust the guidance provided.
When suitable, demonstrating how a toy is held, charged or adjusted can help clarify its features without being too explicit or overwhelming. Let the customer decide how much demonstration they want. Some may value hands-on explanations, while others prefer just verbal descriptions. Asking, “Would it help to see how this works?” is an easy way to get consent before continuing.
Options That Resonate
Another effective soft-selling approach is offering options instead of ultimatums. Presenting two or three choices, rather than directing your customer only toward a single product, empowers them to compare and choose. Some examples:
- “Would you like something gentle, or more intense?”
- “These are three different styles that approach sensation differently. Want to explore what sets them apart?”
- “There are a few ways people enjoy using this — it really depends on what feels good for you.”
- “This is an option if you’re curious, but there’s no right or wrong choice.”
Framing the choice as exploration rather than decision-making reduces pressure and keeps the experience enjoyable.
Normalize Uncertainty
Many shoppers enter pleasure stores feeling unsure, especially first-time customers or those navigating changes in their bodies or relationships. Reassure them that it’s okay not to know exactly what they want. Statements like, “A lot of people start here when they’re not sure” or “It’s totally fine to just browse and see what sparks curiosity” remove the expectation of an immediate purchase and build long-term trust.
Finally, soft selling means accepting that not every interaction needs to end with a sale. Sometimes the most valuable outcome is a positive experience that encourages a customer to return. Offering educational resources, suggesting a category to explore later or simply thanking someone for coming in can leave a lasting impression. Customers who feel respected and supported are far more likely to return — and when they do, they often buy more confidently and consistently.
Sara Gaffoor is the Canadian sales rep for Nasstoys.
