One of Besharam’s earliest customers contacted us three times before placing an order. Not about the product, but about the packaging.
“Will anyone know what’s inside?”
For those operating in adult retail — especially across diverse markets — the challenge is this: Stop viewing shame as purely cultural.
That question stayed with me because it spoke less about sex and more about vulnerability.
When people hear “sex toy business in India,” they often picture a bold founder challenging taboos, strict laws and sensational headlines. The reality, in my experience, has been quieter, but far more revealing.
The biggest obstacle wasn’t sex; it was shame. Specifically how shame shows up in everyday consumer behavior, operations and trust.
I learned early that in adult retail, you’re not just selling products. You’re offering emotional safety. You can provide the best selection, competitive prices, and quick delivery, but if the customer feels exposed, judged or misunderstood, you lose the sale. This is true in India just as it is in the U.S. and Europe. The difference is in how that shame manifests, and how retailers and brands must respond to it on a large scale.
This is a reflection on what it takes to build a pleasure product business across very different markets and what the adult retail sector must do next: become more transparent, more compassionate and more practical in how we serve customers seeking pleasure, privacy and dignity at the same time.
Shame Isn’t Always About Morality; It’s About Privacy
In India, conversations about sex are typically kept private within families, even if people speak openly with friends. Many consumers operate with dual mindsets: confident with peers, but reserved around parents, roommates or elders. That duality shapes purchasing behavior.
The customer is not necessarily “guilty.” They are cautious and prefer not to explain.
Over time, I realized that what we often interpret as shame is actually a need for privacy. Customers seek discretion not because they believe pleasure is wrong, but because they want control over who knows.
We saw this play out in very practical ways: customers opting for cash payments to avoid records, requesting abbreviated names on packages, or declining follow-up emails entirely. If the packaging looks obvious, the product name is explicit, or delivery feels risky, they abandon the purchase.
Once you understand this, your retail strategy shifts. You stop trying to push boldness and instead build systems that allow customers to explore on their own terms.
Early on, many shoppers didn’t even know what to ask. Some browsed for days, added products to their carts, then disappeared. Others reached out hesitantly, almost apologetically, trying to understand if what they wanted was “normal.”
Those early years were defined by trial and error. We imported products that performed well internationally and tested them with Indian consumers. Some succeeded; many didn’t — often for reasons Western brands don’t always consider: storage privacy, noise levels, discreet charging, intuitive instructions and overall ease of use for first-time buyers.
Over time, customer feedback became our most valuable asset. It shaped everything, including product selection, merchandising decisions, pricing strategy and how we communicated product details.
The market evolved from curiosity-driven purchases to informed, repeat customers who knew what they wanted and were willing to invest in quality.
That shift is critical. Growth in adult retail isn’t just about reach, it’s about confidence. When confidence increases, behavior changes. Hesitant customers return with clarity, curiosity and far less concern about judgment. That’s when sexual wellness moves from taboo to true category.
A Large Market With Very Specific Buying Behavior
India’s population may be massive, but the realistic addressable market for pleasure products is much smaller. You need internet access, disposable income, privacy and openness to experimentation. In practical terms, the reachable audience is closer to 200–250 million people — not 1.4 billion.
Even within that segment, penetration remains low. That signals strong growth potential, but only if retailers understand what’s holding adoption back.
One of the more surprising insights: Tier 2 and Tier 3 cities often show higher average order values than major metros. The assumption is that demand is concentrated among urban consumers. In reality, outside major cities, shoppers often have fewer in-store options and a stronger preference for discreet online purchasing. When trust is established, basket sizes increase.
We’re currently in what I would call a “golden age” for India’s sexual wellness market that’s similar to the early days of e-commerce: rapid growth, fast learning curves and significant untapped demand.
But growth phases also bring risk. When brands chase short-term sales and overlook trust, they undermine long-term category development. That’s where maturity becomes essential.
In Adult Retail, Operations Are the Experience
In adult retail, operations aren’t just backend tasks; they shape the customer experience.
Discreet packaging isn’t a feature; it’s a promise. Product naming isn’t just marketing; it’s risk management. Last-mile delivery, customer support tone, invoice language, return policies and payment success rates all shape whether a customer feels safe.
In India, legal and regulatory frameworks can be inconsistent. Sex toys are not always clearly defined within modern law. Obscenity regulations are often outdated, and enforcement can vary. Customs clearance may be unpredictable, with similar products receiving different outcomes.
This uncertainty impacts retail operations directly. Businesses must manage inventory cautiously, diversify sourcing and build flexibility into supply chains. Manufacturing also faces limitations in terms of technology and infrastructure, which is why global production remains concentrated in markets like China.
Western brands sometimes underestimate these constraints. In their home markets, discretion and pricing may be secondary considerations. In India, they are central. You can’t simply replicate a U.S. retail strategy; you must localize for trust.
A Practical Framework for Reducing Friction
Here are five principles that consistently worked, and that adult retailers globally should consider essential:
1. Position products as an 'upgrade,' not a 'replacement.'
Pleasure products enhance experiences; they don’t replace intimacy. Framing them this way reduces defensiveness and resonates with both solo and partnered consumers.
2. Offer calm, clear, beginner-friendly education.
Customers don’t need lectures, they need clarity. Focus on product selection, safe use, expectations and care. Education should reduce anxiety, not create pressure.
3. Design for end-to-end privacy.
Privacy goes beyond packaging. It includes product design, sound levels, charging methods, labeling and even customer support interactions. Every touchpoint matters.
4. Use customer feedback as a retail strategy tool.
In high-stigma categories, feedback often comes indirectly: through returns, reviews and purchase patterns. Use it to guide assortment, bundling and pricing decisions. Accessibility matters, even for premium products.
5. Be transparent, but responsible.
Transparency isn’t about shock value. It’s about clearly communicating materials, safety, warranties and realistic expectations. In complex regulatory environments, honesty builds long-term trust.
The Next Step: Designing for Compassion
The future of sexual wellness isn’t about louder marketing or more provocative messaging. It’s about building retail systems that normalize pleasure while respecting customer realities.
For those operating in adult retail — especially across diverse markets — the challenge is this: stop viewing shame as purely cultural. Instead, treat it as a design problem you can solve.
Because when you reduce friction and build trust at scale, you don’t just grow a category; you create space for customers to explore themselves with confidence, privacy and dignity.
Raj Armani is the COO and co-founder of online retailer IMbesharam.
