Be a Pornstar

There are the ones where you can tell, from the moment the picture begins, that the filmmakers responsible are in love with pornography and the making of said pornography. The production values are high, the picture and sound quality superb, and the actors and directors go above and beyond the call of duty to bring you quality adult entertainment.

Then there are those films that seem to have been cranked out simply because the filmmakers can make a few quick bucks. The picture quality's poor, there's horrible color saturation and tint and there are static camera angles that reek "amatuer hour." You get the overall vibe that the picture was filmed in someone's (borrowed) garage.

Unfortunately, Be a Pornstar falls into the latter category.

The ladies are attractive and shapely, with "real" figures. Everything else in this mess, however, is terrible: the audio's drowned out by ambient sounds (like the wind), and the picture quality's horribly tinted and oversaturated, leaving everything looking choppy and grainy.

Even the "sets" are bland and uninspired (I put quotations around the word sets because they're really just some average guy's bedroom and a blanket that looks to be located on a local beach) and they don't do anything to enhance the scenes in the least.

The camera angles are poorly chosen, often eschewing a clear look at the action. Why? I have no idea, as it's obviously the hardcore action we signed up for in the first place.

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but adult film fans deserve more than this amateur borefest, especially when there are infinitely more polished and quality films available out there.

Starring Satine Phoenix, Ginger, Azalea Lee, Yvette, Trevor, Johnny Zen, Johnny Saint and Rockin' Rod.

No extra features.