A Look at the Relationship Between Self-Care, Pleasure

A Look at the Relationship Between Self-Care, Pleasure

Once upon a time … we all dreamed of what we would do for ourselves if we just had a little bit more time, or a little bit more money, or a little bit more of something we didn’t even know we needed. The dream to improve our physical and emotional wellbeing created a well-known trend we can all get behind — #selfcare.

Social media may have brought selfcare to the masses, but the adult industry has thrived in the concept. Regardless of your store or business size, you can participate and pay forward the idea of embracing positive self-care. Below are some ideas to think about regarding your approach to incorporating this mega trend into your business.

As retailers, you can help illustrate different forms or journeys that fulfill the idea of optimizing our intimate wellbeing.

What self-care means to you and someone else is going to be totally different. Making sure to keep an open mind as to what self-care means for everyone is going to be important. I use vacation as an example when trying to illustrate this point. There are so, so many ways people like to vacation or spend their leisure time. I personally love a quiet beach with endless piña coladas and some good books. To someone else (like my entire family), this is a ridiculous way to spend your free time when you could be jumping into volcanoes or taming wild crocodiles. Our industry retailers are the perfect way for people to actualize their idea of enhancing their current wellness routine.

Most people deviate to the simplest objective — meaning, the thought of prioritizing your own emotional and physical wellbeing with items and actions is foreign to most of us. We have been taught to do the opposite of prioritizing the little things, making it difficult to create an act of joy or experience for ourselves rather difficult. As retailers, you can help illustrate different forms or journeys that fulfill the idea of optimizing our intimate wellbeing. Your displays or wellness centers should incorporate both inexpensive consumables and high-end luxury items. Teach your customers to dream big! We gravitate to low-hanging fruit … a bubble bath, a piece of cake, a new outfit, a few highlights when we get our hair cut etc. — typically singular items or actions because we haven’t discovered how gratifying putting your needs first can be. Talk to your customers about investing in themselves. Talk to them about spending the extra money on a nice vibrator. Help them visualize how this item is a necessary tool in their wellness caboodle. We are worth the investment! Teach customers and staff that the vibrator is just the first step. Your store is filled with so many options for customers to treat themselves; you just need to show them the possibilities. Do not limit yourself or your customer to impulse items targeted at the self-care market. Create a destination in your store that allows people to envision what a better version of themselves looks like through intention.

Finally, if you are going to “talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk.” At the end of the day, self-care must be important to you. Do not get lost in a movement you do not feel like you are part of. Remember self-care is not about making the sale; it is about making us a better version of ourselves.

5 Self-Care Tips for Fall to Practice in the Store:

Energize your body on breaks. Step outside the store from some fresh air and a quick walk. It sounds silly but setting aside 15 minutes to literally step away can be harder than we think. Find some grass to ground your toes in before you head back indoors.

Dance it out when the sales floor is slow. Create energy, move your body. It helps pass time and customers can pick up on it when it is slow. Create some good Corona Tik-toks and help gain new social media followers!

De-clutter. Take a serious look at your cash wrap or other non-customer areas in the store — organized clutter is still clutter. Try to create more room for sellable product at or near the cash wrap. Let old paperwork and homemade signs go. The dollar store has amazing tools to help you organize on a budget. Start the fall season fresh with new workspaces in the store that are clean and organized.

Unplug. You are connected to your work phone, your cell phone, your home phone, the computer, smart watch and other devices that consume your time and attention throughout the day. Set aside 15-30 minutes of unplugged time where you are away from your devices and force yourself to get comfortable with your own company. We all wish for quiet time, but then get anxiety and guilt when we have it. By setting aside dedicated time, it makes it easier for yourself and others to respect boundaries for your solo time.

Practice gratitude. Customer service or other types of work that require you to deal directly with customers can be thankless and emotionally tolling. Find one thing every day that makes you grateful about your job or position in our industry. It does not have to be monumental, just one single thought per day. It will help give you perspective about the things you enjoy, so you know what to practice more of!

Self-care is not something you have; it’s something you claim. I hope this article helps empower you all to treat yourself with more kindness and the self-empathy you deserve!

Danielle Seerley, aka “America’s Sex Toy Sweetheart,” is the senior sales executive for Shibari Wands and Voodoo Toys.


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