When I hear struggling adult retailers lament about a lack of customers, I want to sympathize, but I also want to tell them: “People haven’t stopped shopping. They haven’t lost interest in pleasure, play or discovery. If your business is underperforming, the problem may not be your customer base. It may be how you’re connecting with them — or failing to.”
The adult retail space relies on human connection. Shoppers aren’t just looking for products; they seek experiences, knowledge and trust. When staff engage in suggestive selling — highlighting the fun, new and unexpected items that arrive daily — customers stop browsing and start buying. The opportunity for growth is right in front of you. The key is knowing how to seize it.
What makes a store successful isn’t just foot traffic — it’s energy, creativity and presence.
Change Your Sales Floor Conversations
Many owners spend hours training staff to memorize every product feature. In reality, however, customers very rarely come in begging to hear the difference between seven and eight vibration modes.
What shoppers do want is someone who can start a conversation and make them feel understood. That means asking questions that lead to a story, rather than just a simple yes or no. Staff should get more specific and more personal than the tired “Can I help you find something?” Instead, try “What brings you in today? Are you treating yourself, planning a surprise or just browsing for fun?”
Even this small change can immediately shift the mood. Suddenly, the interaction isn’t about a sale; it’s about making a connection.
Guide Shoppers Toward Discovery
Once the conversation begins, you have the opportunity to steer your customer in the direction of the products that will most suit their needs. If someone is standing by a display of massage oils, ask what kind of evening they want to create: soothing and romantic, or playful and adventurous. If they curiously pick up a toy, share a story about why it’s popular or what other shoppers love about it.
These aren’t scripted lines; they’re invitations to imagine how the product might fit into their lives. That’s how browsers turn into buyers.
Assume Everyone Is Ready to Spend Money
Too often, the default is for staff to treat customers like they’re “just looking.” Unfortunately, your hesitation can become their hesitation. On the other hand, treat a shopper as if they are there to engage, not just browse, and you boost the energy in the room.
Every person who steps through your door has already said yes to curiosity. Now, it’s your job to turn that curiosity into joy. When staff welcome people like guests at a party — smiling, talking, laughing — shoppers mirror that energy. Even the shyest customer finds it easier to say yes when the environment is warm and enthusiastic.
All the Store’s a Stage
Creating that environment might mean showcasing the funniest gag item that arrived this week, presenting a high-end toy as if it were jewelry, or simply having a relaxed, pressure-free chat about intimacy. When people feel engaged and comfortable, they don’t just buy — they come back. And that’s the secret sauce: word of mouth. No algorithm or ad campaign is as powerful as a friend whispering, “You have to go to this store — they made me feel so comfortable.”
That kind of referral is gold in this industry, where discretion and intimacy matter. The best way to spark it is by giving shoppers a story worth sharing. Slip a little surprise into their bag, thank them with genuine warmth, or make them laugh so hard they can’t help but tell a friend. Every positive encounter plants the seed for the next loyal customer.
Be Authentic, Be Present
Advertising can serve an important role, but it’s not the magic fix many think it is. Every retailer has spent money on creative and polished campaigns that still failed to move the needle. What really makes a difference is authenticity.
If social media feels intimidating, start small by sharing what actually happens in your store: displays you’re proud of, a quirky new arrival that made your staff laugh, or the vibe on a busy Saturday. Customers connect with what feels real.
The same goes for community involvement. Show up at markets, festivals and nightlife events. Put a real person’s face — your own — behind your brand. Remember: no one can represent your energy better than you.
The truth is, pleasure never goes out of style and potential customers are everywhere. What makes a store successful isn’t just foot traffic — it’s energy, creativity and presence. Are you training your staff to make connections, or just having them recite product scripts? Are you genuinely engaging with your community, or hiding behind outdated ads? Are you treating your store like a stage, or just a waiting room?
If the latter, then it’s time to focus less on counting customers and more on generating sales. In other words: Stop waiting, and start connecting.
Alexandra Bouchard is an account manager for BodispaB2B and Nobü Toys, blending sales know-how with a passion for people and the pleasure industry.
