For the majority of pleasure industry professionals featured in XBIZ’s monthly column, The Secret Life Of, the hobbies, side gigs and “secrets” of our industry colleagues are strikingly vanilla compared to their sex toy day jobs. Said featured folks are generally out and proud when it comes to hawking dongs the size of your arm or posting pics of triple-stimulation bedroom tools all over Facebook. Funnily enough, it’s often less known that some of them also enjoy preserving and spicing homemade pickles (like shop owner Alison Miller of Taboo RVA), nerding out on mathematics and Excel spreadsheets (like sales rep Gabe Segura of Doc Johnson) or fronting multiple rock bands (like sales exec Zach Goode of Electric Distro).
In this month’s installment of Secret Life, however, the tables are ironically turned. For retail CEO Narine Semerdjian, her online shop and full-time business, BeyondDelights.com, is her secret life (or was, which will come to light a few paragraphs down).
The industry has always been open to people of any cultural or religious background.
Brought up in a traditional Armenian family, Semerdjian could scarcely see herself as a sexual being. Needless to say, running a sex shop would not be an approved career choice for an Armenian woman.
“Being raised an Orthodox Christian Armenian, there’s not a lot of room to express sexual desires, especially as a cis female, or curiosity among family,” says Semerdjian. “It’s rare for one to find peers [who are] also Armenian, [as] we stay in close proximity with our culture, who are willing to participate in conversations about it. It’s easy to feel judged or ashamed and there’s a slight expectation of being shamed for being interested in or learning about sexual needs.”
Semerdjian co-founded BeyondDelights.com with her husband, David, which initially saved Narine from the inevitable family drama of owning up to her business venture.
“When David had mentioned he wanted to start a sex toy store selling safe sex toys online, I honestly told him I wouldn’t take any part in it because I had this immense fear my family would disown me and his family would be ashamed of me,” she recalls. “It would be easier for him, as a man, to be accepted (or pardoned) than for me to run a business selling sex toys.”
Eventually the pair decided to come forward and fess up to their burgeoning business as a shared effort. The confession went over better than expected, but Narine’s assumptions were right on point.
“It was to our surprise that our parents’ reactions weren’t as bad as we had assumed they would be. We got everything from 'Oh boy!' to 'Can’t you just start another business to work on?'" recalls Semerdjian. “My dad’s reaction was cool when I told him it was David’s business and I had nothing to do with it, but he was angry about thinking it was mine.”
Luckily for the Semerdjians, the story has a happy ending. The pair resides in the Los Angeles area, which undoubtedly helped their family understand the appeal of running a progressive and nontraditional business.
“They’re all very supportive,” Semerdjian reassures. “Although not quite fond of the subject, they appreciate the hard work we’re putting in to help people with their needs.”
Semerdjian has since been inspired to come fully out of the closet (or, rather, the bedside sex toy drawer) and represent her brand in the name of diversifying the sexual freedom movement. In the January 2020 issue of Sexual Health Magazine, Semerdjian commented on the lack of representation for people — especially women — of more traditional cultural backgrounds or strict religions within the sex toy and sexual wellness industry.
“What’s lacking most in the sex toy industry and community are those who speak up about cultural or religious conditioning and what it’s done to our psyche,” says Semerdjian. “There needs to be more conversation and education around this topic to help people from conservative, cultural or religious backgrounds learn about sex and sexual wellness products.”
Semerdjian highlights the psychological damage done to those raised in a culture that shames or punishes sexual exploration. For her, combating stereotypes of sex-negative cultures and bringing a voice to the oppressed means putting a recognizable face to her brand.
“We’re proud to stand as role models and show that yes, people will judge you for [embracing your sexuality] but really, none of that matters,” says Semerdjian. “I believe having someone of influence to follow in this sort of situation is the best way to help people get past their limitations if they so desire to.”
While David and Narine’s family may have gotten over the initial shock, the Semerdjians' secret life is still rustling feathers wherever they go. However, Narine believes each of these moments are perfect opportunities to challenge stereotypes.
“My favorite reaction when marketing or teaching anything that has to do with sexual desire is [that] no one ever expects it from me. They look at me and definitely don’t think I’m a person who owns, teaches or operates a sex toy store and they’re more drawn to be me because of it,” she exclaims. “I love that element of surprise. People’s interests have many faces, shapes, forms and backgrounds!”
BeyondDelights.com aims to bring sex toys to people of within this vein: folks who’ve been pushed away by outdated, in-your-face adult marketing or felt uncomfortable buying vibrators that looked too much like — well — a vibrator.
According to Semerdjian, it’s not that the pleasure industry has been purposefully excluding people like herself; it’s that no one knew how to market to folks suffering from sexual shame.
“The industry has always been open to people of any cultural or religious background,” she explains. “The presentation that it’s had for so long just wasn’t inviting for most to dare and approach the environment.”
Semerdjian could not have chosen a more perfect time to begin building a new way to brand and market sex toys. In the short time that she’s been running BeyondDelights.com, an industry-wide revolution has changed everything from marketing messages to product design.
“Everything from the packaging to the representations of each product is changing to look more neutral, clean and classy,” notes Semerdjian.
For Beyond Delights customers, it’s key that Semerdjian’s product offerings follow in the footsteps of today’s most well-respected, modernized pleasure companies.
“Brands with products such as the We-Vibe Touch and the Womanizer Premium clitoral stimulator accommodate wonderfully when it comes to their products not looking or feeling suggestive,” she says. “Their packaging has class, their products are universal and it would take someone who’s not aware of sex toy design or use a while to know “off the bat” what they are.”
Creating Beyond Delights has opened a whole new world to the Semerdjians, who have since dedicated their lives to bringing sex toys to everyone too afraid or ashamed to buy them. Now that Narine Semerdjian has come to fruition as a blossoming, sexual being in charge of her own sensual destiny, she hopes her former little secret can empower others to do the same.
“Sexual desire explored and fulfilled feels like a magical power you always wished you had,” she gushes. “The fact is, everyone does have magical powers, they just need to learn how to harness it. Discovering that ourselves and helping others’ find that as well is what really fills our spirits.
