In the sexual wellness industry we like to think we’re pretty well-educated when it comes to sex. If our business is to make and sell pleasure products, we can tell you all the features, how they function, how they can be used, and how to maximize pleasure with them. But comprehensive sex-education must go beyond product knowledge and how-tos. It needs to have a foundation in accurate, scientific information and be delivered in a non-judgemental, non-gendered manner. It should take into account diverse experiences of pleasure and identity. As we drive the destigmatization of sex and sexuality forward, it is imperative that we offer comprehensive, inclusive sex-ed in our work — whether we’re producing content, designing products, marketing them, or selling them to consumers.
Society Is Sexually Illiterate
As we work towards greater social acceptance we have the opportunity to use our educational platforms to further that mission.
Only 24 states in the U.S. (plus Washington DC) require sex-ed in classrooms and only 13 of those require the information provided be medically accurate. Moreover, only nine states require the curriculum to include lessons on consent. And that’s only for current students. If that is the sum total of the education being provided to adolescents, you can understand what little information people take into young adulthood, and beyond. It’s not much, and it doesn’t take into account how we develop sexually throughout our lifespan.
That’s a huge portion of our society, not just young people, who are missing the basic building blocks to understanding their own bodies and pleasure, let alone gender and sexual identity issues. Since they don’t receive this information in school, the best outcome is that they turn to the internet, porn and pleasure products for an inkling of how to approach sex and relationships.
Retailers, manufacturers and most everyone in the sexual wellness space takes that on happily. We tell them what products might be good for them and how to use them, but we’re missing out on a huge opportunity to give them tools and information that could improve their sexual wellbeing and also open them up to totally new ways of exploring their sexuality (plus any products that can help them along the way).
Comprehensive Sex-Ed Includes Pleasure (& Vice Versa)
The world is beginning to recognize the important role pleasure plays in sexual wellness. A study from Indiana University found that vibrator users were significantly more likely to have had a gynecological exam during the past year and to have performed genital self-examination within the last month (Herbenick et al., 2009).
Our educational materials on pleasure and pleasure products must also recognize the importance of comprehensive sex-ed in the education of our customers. We can’t complain about sex-ed in schools being incomplete and then not ensure that our own educational programs are comprehensive and include the basic information to help people truly embrace and enjoy their sexual lives, as well as understand the diversity of gender and sexuality.
The Key to Legitimization & Social Acceptance
We spend most of our time teaching people about what feels good, why it feels good, and how to use our products to feel good, but on a larger scale whether we realize it or not, we’re trying to change people’s perception of sex, pleasure and sexuality as a whole. Pleasure for pleasure’s sake is just as valid as any other aspect of sexual wellness, but as we work towards greater social acceptance we have the opportunity to use our educational platforms to further that mission.
By showing that we’re committed to facts, health and wellness, as well as pleasure, we can carry our message to the conservative gate-keepers holding us back from reaching even more consumers. As we grow our educational content and partner with more mainstream health and education groups, we can legitimize the industry and our work.
Educating Ourselves 1st
Again, we tend to think of ourselves as well-versed when it comes to sex and pleasure, but there is always opportunity to improve knowledge and understanding. Self-study and experiential learning are important tactics utilized in becoming a subject matter expert, and their importance should not be diminished. Equally important is the investment in formal and accredited training, which validates our claim as experts and elevates the dialogue. It can also expose other industries and audiences to the importance of the message and our space.
There is already a group of educators who are developing resources for people interested in studying sex-education, from individuals like Cameron Glover and her book “Becoming a Sexuality Professional,” to established programs like San Fransisco Sex Information (SFSI) and Everybody Deserves Sex-Ed, and even some of the more education-inclined distributors who have programs specifically designed for retailers and manufacturers to jumpstart their sex-ed training. Glover’s work, specifically on the importance of race in comprehensive and intersectional sex-ed, has been particularly valuable for me and inspired me to fully commit to the SFSI training program this fall to begin formalizing my own expertise.
When we invest in sex-ed training for our teams, we’re investing in better outcomes across the board — whether it’s on the sales floor and in marketing campaigns, or engineering and production. Directly hiring employees with a background in sexology or sex-education is a fantastic start, but we should consider investing in training programs for existing employees as well. Not only will it make each of us better at our jobs, it will also create resources for our communities, and enrich the experiences of everyone around us.
Sarah Brown is the director of sales and marketing at Lora DiCarlo, the premium tech and sexual wellness brand using microrobotics and biomimicry to make pleasure products that feel like a real partner. The company’s first product, Osé will be launching at the end of 2019.
