A customer in her 50s walks in and asks where the lubricant is. Your team explains water-based and silicone formulas, answers her questions and sends her home with a bottle. It is a good sale and good service.
But she may not be shopping only for moisture. She may be trying to describe pain, reduced sensation, pelvic tension, urinary leakage or another change without having the language for it. Nearby, another customer may be examining a Kegel trainer and wondering how to “tighten” her pelvic floor, even though strengthening may not address her symptoms.
Lubricants, moisturizers, dilators and pleasure products can sit alongside pelvic wellness tools when staff can explain what each product does and what it does not do.
After more than 20 years in movement and pelvic floor wellness, I believe retailers have an opportunity to broaden mature intimate care. That starts with understanding how pelvic floor function can affect arousal, comfort and orgasm, then knowing when education should give way to a clinical referral.
What Happens in the Body
Orgasm involves both the brain and body. Research has documented rhythmic, involuntary pelvic contractions during orgasm, but the pattern and number of contractions vary from person to person. Pelvic floor muscles also contribute to bladder and bowel function, support and sexual response.
Those muscles need both strength and the ability to relax. A muscle that remains chronically tense may have difficulty moving through its full range. For some people, an overactive pelvic floor can be associated with pain, urinary or bowel symptoms and sexual difficulties. For others, weakness, coordination problems, hormonal changes or another health condition may be involved. Symptoms alone do not establish the cause.
That distinction matters at the retail counter. A customer asking how to “tighten” may be describing leakage, diminished sensation, pain or a feeling of pressure. Those concerns can require different approaches, and automatically recommending strengthening may not be appropriate.
Offer a Better Reframe
Train staff to begin with one neutral question: “When you say tighten, do you mean leaking, sensation or pain?” The answer can guide the conversation without asking an associate to diagnose the customer.
Staff can then offer a careful reframe: “Pelvic floor symptoms can involve strength, tension or coordination. Would it be useful if I showed you products and educational resources for those different needs?” This gives the customer options without presenting one explanation as universal.
The referral line is equally important. Bleeding, severe or worsening pain, difficulty urinating, symptoms of prolapse or concerns following surgery should prompt a referral to a physician or pelvic floor physical therapist. Retailers can discuss product features and general wellness education, but they should not diagnose conditions or promise treatment outcomes.
Common Does Not Mean Untreatable
Genitourinary syndrome of menopause can include vaginal dryness, irritation, painful sex and urinary symptoms. These concerns are common, yet many people do not discuss them with a clinician because of embarrassment, limited expectations or the belief that discomfort is simply part of aging.
A pleasure retailer may be one of the few places where a customer raises the subject. Staff should avoid telling customers that a symptom is “normal” or, conversely, declaring that it is abnormal. A more useful message is that common symptoms may be treatable and deserve attention, particularly when they are painful, persistent or disruptive.
Build a Pelvic Wellness Assortment
Most adult stores already carry lubricants, moisturizers, vibrators and, increasingly, dilator sets. A broader pelvic wellness assortment might also include educational materials, relaxation tools, positioning aids and carefully selected fitness products. Merchandise should be organized by customer need rather than by a claim that one device can solve every pelvic floor concern.
This category is education-led rather than purely impulse-led. That can create productive conversations, repeat visits and stronger trust. It also complements existing inventory. Lubricants, moisturizers, dilators and pleasure products can sit alongside pelvic wellness tools when staff can explain what each product does and what it does not do.
A useful assortment should distinguish relaxation, comfort, mobility, strengthening and clinical-use products rather than placing everything under a generic “Kegels” label. Clear packaging information is a must, including intended use, dimensions, materials, cleaning instructions, contraindications and whether professional guidance is recommended. Buyers should be wary of products that promise to cure incontinence, eliminate pain or transform orgasm without credible support.
Use plain language in signage. Phrases such as “support for pelvic comfort, relaxation and strength” are more approachable than clinical jargon. Avoid signs that imply treatment for a medical condition unless the product is authorized and marketed for that purpose.
Staff training is the differentiator. Any store can order inventory. Fewer can explain in one sentence that pelvic floor concerns may involve too much tension, too little strength or poor coordination. A store that can hold that conversation responsibly may become a trusted destination.
Role-playing can help associates practice without making the interaction clinical. One person can present a vague request such as “I need something for dryness” or “I want to tighten,” while another asks one or two clarifying questions, explains relevant categories and identifies the referral boundary. The exercise builds confidence while reinforcing that a sale is not always the appropriate next step.
Acknowledge Product Bias
Retailers should evaluate the product and its claims using the same standards they apply to any wellness item: evidence, instructions, contraindications, staff training and appropriate referrals.
The industry has often answered intimacy after 45 primarily with moisture. Lubricants and moisturizers solve real problems, but they are not the full conversation. Customers may also need better language, broader product options and encouragement to seek qualified care.
The goal is not to turn sales associates into clinicians. It is to help them recognize that “Where is the lube?” may be the beginning of a more complex question. A retailer that responds with empathy, accurate education and clear boundaries can serve mature customers more completely and earn their long-term trust.
Jana Danielson is a Pilates master instructor, pelvic floor educator, fascia specialist and two-time Amazon international bestselling author. She is founder and CEO of Bloom Better and creator of Cooch Ball. Find her at JanaDanielson.com and BloomBetter.life and on Instagram and TikTok at @jana.danielson.
