Sex work can be isolating — this is no myth. The stigma associated with sex workers and clients can be degrading and dangerous. This isolation is especially prevalent in this crazy year of 2020. The current pandemic has thrown off our sex worker community; our plans and our career goals have been delayed or cancelled because of lockdowns across the world. Fortunately, we live in an information age where social media has helped us manage our careers by building support systems, while also offering professional networking.
The COVID-19 pandemic greatly disrupted the flow of funds for everyone, not just those of us who are sex workers. As lockdowns caused the slowing or outright termination of employment for many, we all experienced a need for support. Thankfully, through this social media generation, we have seen a rise of such support through mutual aid funds spreading resources for vulnerable and marginalized sex workers.
Because of the support I’ve received and the friendships I’ve built, I have learned to be more self-aware of my actions and behaviors that may affect other sex workers.
When struggles hit hard, our tight-knit community united together to aid those in deep financial need, and those suffering from physical, mental and spiritual struggles. Sex workers everywhere continue to demonstrate daily the change we bring within the industry when we cooperate rather than compete amongst ourselves for survival or self-enrichment. Often, we forget we are part of a larger industry, a movement. We forget we are part of a brave tribe that can manifest resources for each other and help one another progress through hard work and solidarity.
In the beginning of my sex work, like many others, I was not in the best state of mental health or financial well-being. In 2016 I was living in a small town with limited jobs — the nearest city was many hours away. During my struggle, I turned to the internet for alternatives. I had an active NSFW cannabis blog. I was comfortable with the idea of taking explicit nudes and sharing them online. I did not have a bank account, or money for that bank account. And I did not know if I would have enough food for myself or for my animals going forward in this small town.
The stress and anxiety about the future did not help my mental health. When I started sex work, I was using a cheap Android phone for a premium Snapchat. Now, I have a complete setup for online streaming. With much gratitude and appreciation, I can say I would not have been able to get this far in life without my longtime supporters and clients, or the friendships I cultivated through online groups created by other sex workers who shared similar struggles.
At first, becoming a digital sex worker was a temporary idea, but obviously that changed in a few short years. Sometime during 2017, I found myself feeling like I was missing out socially. I realized I was not socializing with others in the same community. So, I began seeking groups with like-minded people who I could relate to and perhaps even network and work with in the future. This led to me joining my first Discord groups; I am grateful for encountering many uplifting and supportive sex workers across the industry now.
Many of these groups were filled with a balance of wholesome encouragement and voluntary support aiding anyone in need of assistance; they helped with everything from personal troubles, to important safety measures, filing taxes and providing a safe space when in need … whether the emergency was physical, mental or spiritual.
As a result of joining those support systems, I formed friendships with some amazing and kind humans I still hold close to my heart today, nearly four years later. These awesome people have shown me so much compassion, support and encouragement that I genuinely felt like I made lifelong friends, even though our friendship remains distanced by COVID-19. For me, it was never easy finding others to connect with, especially when there is so much competition and so many daily chores requiring focus. But, social media helped me when I felt trapped, when I felt isolated in a small town.
Finding and building genuine friendships was not easy, because there is a constant, definite need to be careful in who we share our energy and time with in order to protect ourselves and our families. But in this industry, we found ways to connect, to help one another. Our approaches adapt constantly due to the dynamics of social, economic and political matters directly affecting the safety of our community and the marginalized workers who have been too often ignored before. And yet, we continue trying to raise awareness of our community's issues and the toxic stigma people still carry with them despite our shared, similar struggles during this pandemic.
Currently, COVID-19 has forced us to find more concrete ways to support those in need within the community. Growing data shows Black and POC communities share a disproportionate number of cases. With that information alone we are able to imagine the struggles and challenges in an already stigmatized industry. Early in March, somewhere in the Rio Grande Valley, a COVID-19 hot spot, Sex Workers In The Community Helping (SWITCH) was started with the intention of providing support for the sex worker community. Thanks to many of the members of the group and others in the community, the collective was able to reach a total of $5,000 to distribute to local sex workers. The collective prioritizes being gender inclusive and being able to reach the most vulnerable workers first. Mutual aid organizations across the country such as SWITCH have been created, many with the goal of raising funds, distributing, sharing and providing resources to Black, trans and POC sex workers in their areas.
Because of the support I’ve received and the friendships I’ve built, I have learned to be more self-aware of my actions and behaviors that may affect other sex workers. When I’ve seen others struggle, I find myself wanting to help. There have been times, not as many as I would like, where I’ve sent funds to people who’ve suffered loss due to fire or loss due to death, to people who’ve suffered hardships because of ill pets, and I’ve tried being there (virtually) for those who’ve struggled for whatever reason.
Because of what I’ve learned from Black and POC sex workers, I’ve learned to better the industry and the community and not just myself. If I’m not safe, we’re all not safe. Now, more than ever, it is important for everyone with a platform to magnify the voices of vulnerable sex workers. Sex workers in marginalized positions face dangerous obstacles more often than not. I’ll simply leave you with this quote from Bayard Rustin: “We are all one - and if we don't know it, we will learn it the hard way.”
The hard way can be isolating. The hard way can result in unnecessary dangers. And the hard way should be the road less traveled.
KushLungs666 is a content creator who can be followed on APClips.com/kushlungs666 and @kushlungs666 on Twitter.