Recently, I was asked by a friend for a sex toy suggestion for an individual that was interested in making a purchase. Since trends in toys are ever-changing, I asked what the person was opposed to, or if they had a certain kind of stimulation in mind. My friend answered, “Well…she’s 79.” Although I was only a little slightly surprised, my friend acted as though this woman's age was the only information worth giving when supplying me with information. Yeah, she's 79, but she does have a vagina! It’s not like older individuals lose their interest in sex. You just can’t turn off sexuality. This is why I personally enjoy the sexual health route that sex toys are going. New to sex toys, advanced users, or just simply someone who hasn’t bought a toy in some time can now go and find products that suit their demographic more easily.
Sticking on the subject of the older crowd, obviously your body changes as you age. Orgasms help with overall well-being, but medical conditions and natural aging can get in the way. It’s harder for women to reach orgasm when they reach menopause due to less sensitivity and blood flow, on top of needing more lubrication in the nether regions. Arthritis in hands and wrists cause tiring for men and women, and even getting the body in good positions for sex toy use or intercourse can be hard. However, there's nothing a bit of manual help — meaning a sex toy, position aids and a good bottle of lube can’t solve. Some say, “But it’s unnatural!” Well, so are hip replacements and hearing aids, but they help with one's standard of living, so why shouldn’t sex toys be viewed the same way?
Sex toy use in the later years of life can be an empowering sexual adventure.
So with my friend asking for a recommendation for this older lady, I was glad to look at the end-user differently, rather than someone who just wants their clit blown off with strong vibrations. I made myself a checklist, because I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it if I didn’t pick the right toy suggestions. I don’t need a little rambunctious older Italian lady yelling at me that she didn’t get the orgasm she thought she would! This didn’t get me thinking for just women though, but also men. And so the list began…
Is the toy comfortable to hold with an ergonomic design? Does it stroke or thrust to cut down on wrist or hand motion? Does it give off vibrations strong enough for someone who now needs a little more oomph? Is it lightweight? Now that arousal takes longer, will the toy last for a long amount of time without overheating or running out of charge? Can the controls be easily understood, reached or able to glow in the dark so the user won’t have to try to read a fine print user manual or reach for their reading glasses? Are they going to be intimidated trying to figure out how to charge the toy if the user is a little less tech-savvy? Can an older gentleman easily open well-sealed end caps to clean the toy after use? If insertable, is the size appropriate for someone who hasn’t had vaginal intercourse in a while so that vaginal soreness can be avoided? Is this toy hard to understand how to insert into the body or insert the penis into? Would a position pillow be helpful to suggest to the user to help with back or neck pain, or as a prop to set the toy on for easier use? What lube is compatible with the toy? Is the lube body-safe, natural, or helpful for sensitive skin? Would a cock ring or pump be beneficial to prepare a customer for a toy that requires an erection? What kind of touch do they like? Where, exactly? What pace? What intensity?
The list could go on and on, but I kept it at that. I also began to think about individuals with significant others who have died, and weren’t ready for a partner, but could be ready for a sex toy. You can’t let sexuality slip away. Being sexually active is an important part to living a healthy and happy life. Whether it be from menopause cutting down on the sex drive; losing the one you love; not being able to achieve an erection; or just simply not being able to get off as easily as you used to, I think that sex toy use in the later years of life can be an empowering sexual adventure.
When older, you know yourself better than ever and you know what turns you on. With body changes, you can find different ways to experiment with toys that will teach you new ways to achieve orgasm and hopefully find that perfect vibration mode that we all stumble across from time to time that truly tickles your fancy or hits the right spot. Especially since older individuals have a lot of time to sit back and enjoy pleasure day to day. Yes, I am young, and when creating that broad checklist of things to take into consideration when suggesting senior toys, things started to pop into my head that I never thought to consider before. I have the luxury at this point in life to fiddle faddle with products with ease and not think twice about it.
As a society, we should ditch the cringing or joking regarding older individuals using sex toys. This should have you thinking, “Damn, they still got some sexual juices flowing. That’s going to be me one day and someone better be around to fill me in on all the good sex toy trends!”
Side note: In the end, that older lady who I had to make suggestions for was very pleased. She is now a fan of lightweight wand massagers and warming water-based lube.
Chelsea McCain is the sex toy manager for AdultEmpire.com.
