opinion

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! (…or Can We?)

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! (…or Can We?)

Ah, Instagram. The social media platform that everyone knows, loves and uses. From personal use to business, shopping to cyberstalking, Instagram provides us with the photographic marketing tool that we love, and at the tips of our fingers. As a matter of fact, today, there are more than 800 million people who are active on Instagram each month, and more than 8 million Instagram business accounts (about 71 percent of U.S. businesses have Instagram accounts), which means if you are looking for either a person or a brand, there is a good chance you will find them on Instagram. But what about the companies and brands that you can’t find? For example, companies and persons selling goods geared towards sexual health and sexual pleasure. Did these organizations decide to avoid a social media presence, or does Instagram have greater forces at work censoring sex?

Unfortunately, it’s the latter. Our society has an alarming educational deficit when it comes to sex. Where there is a lack of education, you can almost always expect decisions (including community guidelines) to be based in fear. While this is tragic, it makes sense. The U.S. has a complicated moral relationship with sex, everywhere from our modes of archaic censorship to our model for shame-based, abstinence-only public sex education.

Have you ever wondered who sets the standards and guidelines for social media platforms? The owners do! Instagram allows a young demographic of users onto the platform. According to Investopedia, its target demographic is teenagers, although the most active users are between the ages of 18-29. Consumers as young as 13 can create an account. Considering most every American has been trained to “protect” children from learning about sex from a pleasure-based model, it follows a very strict set of restrictions.

On the very first page of Instagram’s community guidelines, it states “don’t spam people or post nudity,” followed by a longer explanation of: “We know that there are times when people might want to share nude images that are artistic or creative in nature, but for a variety of reasons, we don’t allow nudity on Instagram. This includes photos, videos, and some digitally-created content that show sexual intercourse, genitals, and close-ups of fully-nude buttocks. It also includes some photos of female nipples,” but then oddly enough goes on to state “photos of post-mastectomy scarring and women actively breastfeeding are allowed. Nudity in photos of paintings and sculptures is OK, too.” Hmm. According to the guidelines, Instagram can be subjective, to say the least.

Over the last year, Instagram has quietly implemented a process referred to as shadow banning, which is a tactic used to discourage users from sharing content which opposes its guidelines. It can occur when a photo has broken one of Instagram's community guidelines, for example, using a broken or banned hashtag, or even by using a software that violates the terms of service. If you think this may have happened to you, you can check by using a shadowban analyzer, or by searching your photo with the hashtags you have used through another users account. Luckily, it seems as though shadow banning is not permanent, and can be reversed as soon as you fix the red flags in your content.

So now let’s talk about why sex-related content tends to get shut down on Instagram. We know that “sex sells,” but thanks to its community guidelines, not on Instagram. And, if we zoom out, the problem is a lot bigger than Instagram.

Last year two bills, FOSTA (the Fight Online Sex Trafficking) and SESTA (the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act) were passed by the House and Senate with the goal of reducing the amount of sex trafficking that occurs online. And while this censorship was introduced to monitor and disband online prostitution, it also contributes to the limited existence of sexual content online. According to StopSesta.org, “since Congress passed SESTA/FOSTA, owners of popular online platforms have responded by censoring completely lawful activity from their sites. Other sites hosting lawful activity have shut down entirely,” and its induction causes online platforms to “risk severe civil and criminal penalties for the activities of their users or restrict their users speech, silencing a lot of marginalized voices in the process.” In fact, just last month sex educator, love coach and Instagram user @lorraejo had her account deactivated due to the new bills, and believes that “anyone that is talking openly and honestly about sex is at risk.”

Until our nation begins implementing sexual education to give people a framework from which to teach, fear will continue to dominate the bills that are passed, and as a result, censorship will continue to dominate media and communication. This means companies which are sex-positive in nature will continue to face discrimination in the media and on social media platforms. Instead of fighting the guidelines (whether it be on Instagram or another outlet), we have found that it is better to promote our message from within the confines of the guidelines. An unknown source once said, “in a contest between a river and a rock, the river always wins. Why? Because the river is willing to follow the natural call of gravity, going over, under, around or, eventually, through the rock, to its destiny which, as with all water, is to ultimately merge with the ocean.”

Being crass and demonstrative will only give these governing entities the power to shut us down, and when they shut us down they also silence our message. We aren’t going to change Instagram’s rules, so let’s find a way to share pleasure-based sex education within Instagram’s guidelines. This will consume less energy and produce greater results. Be the river.

Forward Approach Marketing (FAM) provides reliable, result-driven attention to businesses by creating custom marketing plans designed to meet each client’s unique goals. We implement a strategy of “educate to elevate” across all platforms, sharing stories which break stereotypes, obtaining positive placement with trade and consumer press, offering media preparation, as well as advertising and social media strategies.

Copyright © 2026 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

trends

A Look Inside CC Wellness' Production Process

Stepping through the front doors of CC Wellness’ 215,000-square-foot headquarters, you first encounter the lubricant manufacturer’s comprehensive process in the company’s wall of plaques, which celebrate more than 25 formulas that have received FDA 510(k) clearances for medical devices.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
profile

A Look at the Growing Market for Pleasure-Enhancing Consumables

For decades, the sexual enhancement aisle consisted mainly of pills promising stamina, with bottles and blister packs leaning heavily into themes of masculinity, urgency and performance. The sales pitch was rarely subtle: Take this, and something bigger, harder, longer or more intense would follow.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
opinion

5 Ways Pleasure Brands Can Maintain Social Media Visibility Beyond the Algorithm

The most difficult part of managing social media for pleasure brands is my archnemesis: the algorithm. I am sure most people who work in sexual wellness would agree. We are constantly navigating reduced reach, content removal and, in some cases, account bans. That can make connecting with customers feel impossible, but it is not.

Taylor Maness ·
profile

Verifymy's Emma Robert-Tissot on Putting People at the Heart of Online Safety

Warm, friendly and always happy to help, Emma Robert-Tissot has a gift for making even the most complex corners of online safety feel approachable.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

How Sexual Wellness Brands Can Use Emotional Marketing to Build Loyalty

Adult businesses have never had access to every marketing tool available to mainstream brands. Platform rules, advertising restrictions and content policies can limit the options for sex toy manufacturers and retailers. Add a difficult economy and more cautious consumers, and relying on tactics that worked a few years ago may no longer be enough.

Kate Kozlova ·
profile

WIA: Kristin Zuri-Godskind Draws on Deep Expertise to Elevate Sportsheets

After 18 years in the pleasure products industry, Kristin Zuri-Godskind has experienced the business from nearly every angle. Her career has taken her through retail, merchandising, management, distribution, sales, product education and manufacturing, giving her a perspective shaped as much by the sales floor as by the relationships she has built along the way.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
trends

Why Adult Retailers Need Better Training on Disability, Chronic Health

Every customer who walks into an adult store brings a different body, comfort level and set of needs. Retail staff already know how to ask the basics: Do you prefer vibration or suction? Are you using water-based or silicone lubricant? Do you have a latex allergy? What size are you comfortable with?

Mersy Love ·
profile

Anastasia's Bedroom Founder Chelsea Mani Bridges Ecommerce With Local Events

Chelsea Mani spends her weekends at local markets, where she displays an assortment of lingerie ranging from new lace bodysuits and silky robes to carefully sourced, cleaned and pressed vintage pieces. Passersby stop to examine the fabrics, ask questions and sometimes find themselves opening up unexpectedly.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Staying Power: Justin Ross on Two Decades of Building Screaming O

Ironically, it was a single-use, disposable vibrating ring that became the foundation of The Screaming O, transforming a basic foil pouch into the launchpad for a pleasure-product brand that has endured for over two decades.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
profile

WIA: Nasstoys' Suzy Contreras Drives Sales With Personal Connection

Suzy Contreras' journey into the pleasure products industry has been steady and carefully cultivated. Across departments, accounts and nurtured relationships, Contreras has demonstrated commitment and passion at each step.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
Show More