opinion

Friends With Benefits: Competition in Adult Retail

It’s been nearly 50 years since the Great Dildo Drought of 2020. Society’s sex toy shelves were completely drained of all their resources due to unchecked over-copulation. As human beings became more and more accepting of their own sexuality, the sex toy industry was completely unprepared for the sudden and massive influx of “passion crazed” consumers. They swarmed to their local sex shops like sexy locust and picked clean every pleasure product they could wrap their bodies around. Those poor retailers never stood a chance against that infinite tidal wave consisting only of “quivering nethers.” They say, in the still of the night, you can still hear their moans of ecstasy. For years the drought lingered on and continued to deprive the good people of this planet of their inherent right to unending ecstasy. All that remained was the ruins of a world long forgotten. From those remnants, something glorious rose from the ashes. (I was tempted to say “rose from the asses.”) As the pleasure industry began to rebuild civilization, they realize that the only way they could reclaim their former glory was to band together. Separate, they were vulnerable; united, they were unstoppable. When the history books look back at the Great Dildo Drought, they do not speak of the countless orgasms that went un-orgasmed, no... They speak of a unified sex toy industry that rose up and took back the world from mundane sex!

Of all the interesting personality traits that comprise the typical sex shop customer, I always found “brand loyalty” to be one of the more interesting. (Stick with me, I promise that I’m going to tie this all together.) This concept goes far beyond shopping for sensuality products. Whether it’s groceries, clothing or furniture, consumers have a tendency to stick with the few select retailers that have properly serviced them in the past. Naturally, these relationships are far from exclusive. The complicated aspect of this, for retailers, is the pressure to maintain these relationships by continually stocking the merchandise their particular community demands. The problem with this is that the sex toy industry covers a wide spectrum of products and lifestyles. It’s very difficult for one store to carry the entire range of sexuality that our industry supplies. This results in stores having to be very strategic about the products they do choose to carry. (This concept also applies to manufacturers and distributors.) In order to be successful, you have to pick a focus and run with it. Sadly, no matter how calculated you are with your inventory, there is always going to be that one customer who is looking for that one product that you don’t carry. What happens then? What do you do when you know for a fact that the sex shop down the block carries the item that they are looking for?

I generally feel like the “rivalry” that exists in our industry is more concocted in the minds of our customers and less on actual rivalry.

Within most industries, there is always going to be a strong sense of competition. It’s one of the key factors of business that continuously drives innovation and growth. Competition has a way of forcing you to question your decisions and experiment with unexplored avenues. It’s what keeps you on your game.

What makes the pleasure industry different from most is that we are constantly fighting a war against cultural perceptions as a whole. I can’t help but feel like this struggle has united our industry in a way that is extremely rare. Despite that unity though, there is always going to be that neighboring business that divides your customers. This is the nature of business. While this retail opposition does exist, the competitiveness that often accompanies such a dynamic does not need to. I know that it’s silly to suggest some sort of great unification among sex toy retailers and for businesses to cease trying to one-up one another, I don’t think it’s outlandish to purpose that retailers be more open to the possibility of working a little bit more closely to their neighborhood peers.

I generally feel like the “rivalry” that exists in our industry is more concocted in the minds of our customers and less on actual rivalry. Because of the specific and stigmatized nature of our business, people generally feel like we must be at odds with the dildo shop next store. Whenever I’m asked about this, my answer is always “there’s plenty of room for everybody.” For the most part, this is extremely true. One store can’t carry everything and it’s Business 101 to want to fill the gaps left by your “competitors.” What I purpose, instead of casually spying on your industry peers, is creating an open dialogue with them. Communication can drastically and positively impact your sales. We’re all guilty of not keeping our eyes on our own papers. I know how easy it is to slink through a website or to send a secret agent to penetrate the walls of your neighboring shop, but, peaking at someone’s selection only gives you a small glimpse into their buying and selling. I know this is an obvious “easier said than done” statement, but, the positive results of an open dialogue can be resounding. Having a clearer understanding of the mission statement of the shop next store can help you solidify one of your own. Also, it’s extremely reassuring to know that the products that are doing extremely well for you, don’t sell so well with the competition and vice versa. What do you say, before the Great Dildo Drought of 2020, why don’t you give the shop down the road a call and take them out for coffee? You never know, you may discover an ally just in time for the Great Vibrator Wars of 2080.

As national sales manager of Pleasure Works Wholesale, Mark Espinosa believes that as the industry progresses alongside communications technology, it’s important that we always remember that we get to say that we “give people orgasms for a living!” So, why not have a little fun in the process?

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

trends

A Deep Dive Into Key Trends Shaping Pleasure Products

In 2025, the pleasure industry is evolving in intentional ways. Rather than racing toward newness for novelty’s sake, brands are reassessing everything from shape and function to what price intended shoppers can afford.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
profile

WIA Profile: Jia Jeng

Modern branding is all about storytelling — and Jia Jeng certainly knows how to tell an authentic, perspective-shifting tale. As brand manager for ID Lubricants, Jeng applies her creative talent to shaping the long-established company’s public image in a way that aligns with her own vision for an ethical future.

Women in Adult ·
profile

Spicerack Market Offers Indie Brands a Launching Pad

Spicerack Market is an ecommerce platform with the heart of an artisan crafter and the soul of a kinkster. On the website, independent sex toy makers, lingerie seamstresses and kink gear craftspeople can set up a personalized shop to sell their handmade wares, unhindered by censorship or bans on adult products.

Colleen Godin ·
opinion

Strategies to Bring Pleasure Brands into the Spotlight

Every brand dreams about landing a feature in The New York Times or Men’s Health — and pleasure brands are no exception. After all, mainstream media coverage isn’t just a vanity milestone. It builds trust, attracts new audiences and opens doors to connecting with retailers, partnerships, and investors.

Hail Groo ·
opinion

Is Your Retail Business Sextech-Ready?

Sextech isn’t just a niche novelty anymore; it’s the future of sexual wellness. From wearable sex toys that provide biofeedback to interactive sex toys with AI capabilities, sextech has made significant progress over the past few years.

Kate Kozlova ·
opinion

Top Product Launch Tactics to Boost Q4 Sales

According to recent industry insights, over 70% of sexual wellness brands finalize their Q4 lineups between July and early September. This is a high-stakes window for launching new products.

Matthew Spindler ·
opinion

Scroll-Stopping Social Media Strategies to Capture Short Attention Spans

Attention spans are shrinking across all types of media. No matter how innovative a concept may be, if it doesn’t stop the scroll, it’s quickly forgotten. That’s why Netflix has intentionally been simplifying its content, with executives directing writers to create scripts that are less complex and nuanced, and more second-screen-friendly.

Naima Karp ·
opinion

The Hidden Cost of Letting Retail Define Pleasure Brands

Not long ago, spotting vibrators and lubricants at a national chain like Target or CVS might have raised eyebrows. Now, it’s almost expected.

Rin Musick ·
profile

WIA Profile: Kelsey Harris

At sister distribution brands Nalpac and Entrenue, one woman is in charge of leading customers in the right direction: Director of Sales Kelsey Harris. Since Michigan-based Nalpac took the reins of Arizona’s Entrenue, Harris has led both sales teams from her home base in Oakland County, Michigan.

Women in Adult ·
opinion

Rebranding Sexual Wellness Through a Self-Care Approach

As most of us in the industry already know, sexual wellness remains the black sheep of self-care. Discussions about wellness glorify meditation apps, skincare routines and workout regimens — but mention masturbation or using a sex toy, and most people shy away from the topic.

Hail Groo ·
Show More