Pleasure Works Wholesale
The best part about growing older is the super swell things you learn about the world around you. A new fun fact that I just recently discovered is that people really don’t like to be told that they are wrong. They also love to point out when other people are wrong.
Birthdays were always such a weird day for Kathy. Her ideal birthday was a quiet evening at home with a good book and her cat, Miles. It was through a series of unavoidable and unfortunate situations that Kathy found herself at the local watering hole with a few old friends the night of her 27th birthday.
Come with me… and you’ll see… A sex toy world full of imagination! Once, the magical and mysterious mastermind of personal pleasure products, Willie Wanker, invited a few special guests into his top secret factory and granted them special access to all of his most secret of secret projects.
It’s been nearly 50 years since the Great Dildo Drought of 2020. Society’s sex toy shelves were completely drained of all their resources due to unchecked over-copulation.
Have you ever been standing around when a random, uneventful memory from your childhood suddenly pops into your head? One particular instance from my childhood has been burned into my brain. Burned and properly stored in an air-tight plastic container. I remember this one time that my mother hosted a Tupperware Party at our home.
Before I happened upon the emotionally satisfying profession of selling topnotch adult “pleasure products,” I actually had aspirations of creating a series of fairy tale books. The easiest part for me was imaging the wild characters and the outrageous situations they would get themselves in to.
‘Tis the season for love at your friendly neighborhood sex shop! This is not to say that there isn’t a particular sense of yearning and passion that haunts your stores the other 11 months out of the year. You just can’t deny that there’s something different about the vibe (pun intended) around Valentine’s Day.
It’s the last day of high school and I’m completely screwed. How did I manage to make it all the way through my entire senior year and forget to go to the one class I actually needed to graduate? I’m told that if I pass the final exam of the class that I never once attended, I can still graduate in time.
Gather around, gather around! Ladies and gentlemen, please. As I stand here before you on my mighty soap box, with the luminescent California sunshine raining down upon me, I would be quite remiss if I was to allow you to miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I’ve always thought that the hardest part about being a “caped crusader” would be having to maintain a secret identity. (Also, wearing a cape. I look horrible in capes.)
How many friends do you have on social media that you have never actually met in the real physical world? Someone asked me this, recently, and I was shocked when I realized that my number is well in the double digits. This means that I’m sharing intimate aspects of my personal life with complete strangers who I have never actually met in the physical world.
I woke up this morning and discovered a time machine in my backyard. It was powered by silicone lubricant and made a weird sort of “buzzing” sound whenever it landed at its designated temporal destination. With the entirely of humanity laid out before me, I found myself struggling to determine where I should travel to first.
I’m pretty sure that when I first started watching the second season of “Orange is the New Black,” the sun had just risen and I had an entire weekend to accomplish an encyclopedia sized list of chores. My Saturday was young and full of such potential.
Once upon a time, at an IP address far, far, away… existed a website that millions of people visited, several hundred thousand times a day. At first, this website was seen as a gift from the Internet Gods. You could purchase everything from shoelaces to unicorn masks! Cowboy boots to ladybugs! Oh, how the citizens of Internet-land rejoiced that day!
Good Vibes Wholesale officially launches its rebranding as Pleasure Works Wholesale at ANME in Burbank, Calif., July 14-16.