The first time I received a hateful message online was about 10 years ago when I had just posted my first YouTube video. I was sitting at my laptop checking comments and sipping on a glass of Pinot Grigio when the words jumped off the screen … and into my soul.
“Die, fat bitch.”
If someone starts trouble in your room, ban them right away and report them to your platform’s abuse department.
I could feel my blood going cold as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I must have re-read the comment a hundred times that night wondering who would say something so heinous to a complete stranger. I tried to shake it off, but just couldn’t. So instead, I shut off my computer, finished my wine and cried into my pillow for the rest of the night.
As someone who works closely with models now, I hear similar stories every day. Tales of performers subjected to verbal abuse from members and harassed on social media by people who want freebies are just a few of the things I hear about at least several times a week.
Camming can be a glamorous gig, sure. After all, who doesn’t want to feel beautiful on camera while your adoring fans shower you with money and gifts? But any career in the spotlight also opens you up to the potential for a lot of hate online, and let’s be honest — sometimes it hurts.
So, how do you shake it off when the online trolls are out in full force while all you’re trying to do is mind your own business and do your job?
Consider the Source
The fact is that happy people don’t degrade others online. I’ll say it one more time for the people in the back: happy people don’t degrade others online. So if you find yourself on the receiving end of an undeserved verbal assault, remember what they are saying has far more to do with them than it does with you. When people are miserable in their own skin they will do everything they can to get under yours. Do your best not to let them.
Set Your Boundaries
If you perform or create content online, it’s likely that you will encounter cyberbullying in some form throughout the course of your career. Sometimes the hateful comments will bother you and sometimes they won’t, but either way it’s important to let people know you will take action if they disrespect you in any way. Set clear rules for your room and let members know you are not afraid to enforce them if they step out of line.
Don't Feed the Trolls
This can be a challenge, especially when your first instinct is to lash out and tell haters right where they can go. But it’s important to understand that internet trolls do what they do because they crave attention. They feed off of it, so let them starve.
Ban, Block and Report
Just because you have chosen a career in the spotlight doesn’t mean you have to take anyone’s abuse, so don’t. If someone starts trouble in your room, ban them right away and report them to your platform’s abuse department. Take screenshots of your interactions with them as well, that way if they try to downplay their behavior or claim they were just “roleplaying,” you have the proof you need to get them banned for good.
Rely on Your “Tribe” for Support
If someone gets under your skin, don’t internalize it. Seek support from your fellow peers, whether it’s via social media or model chat rooms hosted by your platform. I’ve been in many model chats where someone has opened up about being bullied in free chat only to have other models chime in and say they were harassed by the same member. Just remember, you are not alone and there are far more people who love and support you than you know.
Until next time, be good to yourselves and each other.
Jackie Backman is the content manager for Cams.com. She has been working in the industry for over 12 years and specializes in copywriting and social media management. Backman can be contacted at CamsJBackman@gmail.com.
