If you’re a porn watcher, there’s a strong likelihood you’re familiar with anal gaping. Searching the term on any popular adult site will net you thousands of results. While anal gaping doesn’t seem like average bedroom romp fare, it’s actually much easier to achieve than most realize. You don’t have to be a XXX performer or sexual athlete to create that pornstar-esque gape — a few simple steps, plus some helpful tools, are all you need for this anal lovers’ treat.
What is anal gaping?
Though the reasons people are into anal gaping can be very individual, there are a few commonalities.
A gape occurs when the anal opening is relaxed and open enough to see into the anus. In other words, the butthole is wide open as if something is inside, even though it’s empty.
An anus may gape naturally for a short time right after anal sex, or after removing an anal plug or flare-based dildo. Most often, however, it closes back up relatively quickly. Getting a peek at this elusive gape is incredibly erotic for many, but what most don’t realize is there are techniques and tools to help them keep the hole open for as long as they desire.
What’s so appealing about anal gaping?
Though the reasons people are into anal gaping can be very individual, there are a few commonalities. Receivers often enjoy the act because they crave feeling very full. These may be the same types of people who enjoy large insertables and are already well-versed in anal training. Others regard gaping as a display of submission; to them it’s a visual representation of being used, ruined, objectified, or owned. Sometimes the penetrating partner gets an ego boost from seeing their mate left open wide from their herculean pounding. One of the biggest reasons anal gaping has become so popular is simply because it gets so much exposure in porn.
How do you make anal gaping happen?
As with any other anal sex act, slow and steady wins the race. If you’re not accustomed to anal play at all, some basic anal training is the first step. This will allow you not only to get used to the feeling of something in your ass, but to also stay relaxed — which is essential for gaping. Many choose to douche anally before a gaping session because the hole will be open wider, and play will go deeper. And, as with all anal play, liberal use of lube is a must. To truly understand how to keep the ass open, one needs to have a good handle on anal anatomy. The outer sphincter is what we typically refer to as our butthole. We have control over it, meaning we can open and close it to a slight extent at will. Two to three inches beyond the outer sphincter is the anus. The sphincter that lies beyond that is the one we have to coax into opening and staying that way.
This inner sphincter leads to the rectum, and it constricts and relaxes on its own. We can’t control this sphincter like we can other more external parts of our bodies. The trick to getting the inner anal sphincter to stay open is making it feel full even after a toy or a penis has been removed. Becoming highly aroused is an excellent way to start this process; if the receiver is capable of multiple orgasms, having an orgasm or two can help relax that inner sphincter. If not, whatever sex acts get their engines really revving will fit the bill.
Next, penetration with a finger or small butt plug can get the anus ready for something larger. Hollow anal plugs are perfect gaping accessories. Hollow plugs like this also give you the option to achieve a gaping effect without having to move onto something larger.
Because the plug is clear, you can peer right inside as if there were no toy there at all. The hollow middle can also be used for enema or bodily fluid play.
Using a slightly larger length and width can also take your play further. Again, enjoying the gape with the plug inserted is an option. It can also last all night with little effort, as this plug is designed for longer-term wear. Alternatively, after arousal and relaxation is achieved, it can be pulled out for an unassisted gape.
Once the toy is removed, the wearer will likely have to consciously try to hold their outer anal sphincter open as if they were using the bathroom. With luck (and plenty of arousal) the inner sphincter may also relax enough stay open. For some a gape only lasts a few moments. For others it may take an hour or more to constrict back to pre-play size.
For those wanting to take their gape play to extremes, a see-through, girthy plug keeps the user open and fully accessible, but what makes it unique is it’s made from a stretchy material that allows it to be penetrated. This is an amazing plug for the giver who wants to see just how wide-open their partner is in between thrusts, and they never have to worry about their partner’s ass closing unexpectedly.
Anal gaping isn’t a feat only achievable by the sexual elite. Surprisingly, most of us can do it. While there’s nothing wrong with learning the “old-fashioned” way, using a hollow gaping toy can be a great help. Inner anal sphincters can have a mind of their own and can’t always be controlled. Rather than leaving the outcome of your tryst up to chance, gape plugs can guarantee that your back door will stay open for business all night.
Rebecca Weinberg is the general manager of XR Brands, which specializes in fetish and BDSM with full-spectrum product development and design to create a series of fully merchandised collections dedicated to the lifestyle.