Removing negativity from your surroundings is a great tactic for life in general, but this is particularly important for ensuring you have a successful career as a webcam model. That being said, it’s good to cultivate a group of friends you trust to offer constructive advice.
The most obvious source for non-constructive criticism is the mainstream world, especially individuals in your social circle who are very negative about your job. It’s best to not discuss anything career-related with them.
Venting to others should make you feel freed and released from a negative situation, but when you feel it spiraling into dangerous territory, that’s the time to cut it off.
But, what I do welcome in my own life is a group of friends I truly look up to … that tell me exactly what I need to hear, even if it’s not necessarily what I want to hear. I call them my personal board of directors. We don’t meet in a boardroom — in fact, we don’t meet up together that often — but I often reach out to them individually for their unique expertise, since they can offer advice in a diverse array of subject matters. I recommend that everyone foster a “board” of directors in their lives, to keep you on track.
What you shouldn’t welcome into your lives is the negativity of cruel peers. For every site, there is a group text, message chat or message board where models chat. I’ve seen some of the most toxic behavior in these chats between models. While you’re participating in these forums, there are a few things to think about. First, there is a fine line between venting and piling on. Sometimes there is nothing better than venting with people that understand you, but this can get excessive very fast. Venting to others should make you feel freed and released from a negative situation, but when you feel it spiraling into dangerous territory, that’s the time to cut it off. The channel you’re using to release stress can often become the very source of angst if you don’t know when to turn off the faucet.
Something that I see regularly which bothers me is when models make backhanded compliments to each other. This is oftentimes the most toxic thing that a model can do to another. If there is a model online that is being negative to you, just remember that she feels terrible about something in her life and that’s likely the reason that she’s lashing out. It’s difficult to do, but that is the safest way to get through this situation.
Also, be sure not to internalize negativity you come across, because it will creep into your performances, causing the quality of your show to suffer. I mean, have you ever gone on camera while something is bothering you, hoping it won’t impact things, only to find it just snowballs into making the whole day bad? That is what happens when you go live with a dark cloud over you. Your members will notice it and they will tune you out fast, because they are there for a release from reality.
I know it’s not for everyone, but I have been doing guided meditation when I feel negative. This has helped my stress levels tremendously. It’s almost like a short vacation where I can let the stresses of life melt away. A year ago, I would have pointed at myself and laughed for even suggesting that meditation has helped. But it has. Another thing that has helped more than I could ever have thought is working out hard, with regular exercise. Now, I feel terrible unless I get a good jog in at some point. Plus, meditation and physical activity cost you nothing, and can help you feel calmer, not to mention looking better.
On a personal note, this will be my last article as the Model Manager of Cams.com. I am moving on to a new venture that I feel very happy about. It’s called GameWithMe and it will be a site for broadcasting video game play, but unlike the options that exist now, there will be a pay section that is uncensored and allows for performers to put on the shows they like. I hope you have found the last two years of articles interesting and if you have any questions, I am always here to talk. Feel free to reach out to me at steve@gamewithme.com and I will help you where I can.
