educational

Nine Reasons You’re Having Trouble Getting Good Press

I’ve covered the adult industry as a journalist for more than 10 years, been backstage at award shows and front row at obscenity trials, and nothing I’ve seen shocks me more than the way the porn industry deals press. (And vice versa.)

A few years ago, I got a frantic call from an old friend — a producer in the midst of a crisis. A national news outlet was on the phone, asking about a problem he was having with a disgruntled former model. What should he say? I listened to his side, and told him what to do. The story was killed without so much as a whimper. In the years, as both a journalist and a press liaison, I’ve learned a lot about how the adult industry shoots itself in the foot when dealing with press, and how it misses out on incredible opportunities.

We’re hustlers for exposure, and that leaves us vulnerable. A mention on TMZ, or Perez Hilton, or the Daily Mail can drive hundreds of thousands of potential members to your site, buy your toy or follow you on Twitter.

The adult industry contains multitudes, from dating sites and distributors to performers and pleasure products. At some point, I’ve worked or covered all of them. Below are the nine piece of advice that I tell anyone who’s interested in improving their relationship with the press.

1. Stop Treating Press Like Your Friend

We’re hustlers for exposure, and that leaves us vulnerable. A mention on TMZ, or Perez Hilton, or the Daily Mail can drive hundreds of thousands of potential members to your site, buy your toy or follow you on Twitter. A good story gets repeated on hundreds of blogs and thousands of social media accounts. If done right, good press can make you as much in a month as you make the rest of the year. Still, every time I answer a press call, or click send on an email, I’m know I’m staring at the Sword of Damocles.

After all, good press is independent. They’re focused on telling an accurate and interesting story. But others may have a negative agenda. Like you, journalists depend on traffic. And a juicy accusation, a scandalous side note, or bad behavior often drives more than a positive business profile. I’ve seen a journalist abandon a glowing profile because a director made an insensitive comment — that became the story. I’ve seen reporters who gain access with a positive piece, only to bash a performer in print. I’ve seen press releases mocked, and Change.org petitions filed. When you open that door, everything is fair game.

2. Stop Treating Press Like An Enemy

While there are some raised daggers out there, for the most part, journalists aren’t out to get you. Sure, there’s a default cultural bias against adult industry (producers are gloried pimps, performers are too dumb to know better). But most journalists are smarter than that, and aren’t interested in some hackneyed story that’s already been written a thousand times. When they call you, they’re looking for an interesting, fresh and sexy piece. Other times, they’ve heard an rumor — and they’re calling to get your side.

Either way, answer that call. Keeping your guard up shouldn’t mean sticking your head in the sand. A bad story won’t go away because you don’t respond. Help them get the right story by working with them in a respectful way that helps them get what they need.

3. No One Wants Your Press Release

Most press releases are as interesting as a family holiday letter. Exclamation points and humble-brags, news that’s interesting to the company but not the reader. As a journalist, I get hundreds of press releases a week. Most I just delete. As a press agent, I rarely send out a release — but when I do, I make sure it’s low on braggadocio and heavy on possible stories. It’s short, it’s clear, and probably has a few angles teased out. Journalists are hungry for stories, and allergic to publicity. Learn the difference.

4. ‘Worksafe’ Means Something Different Than You Think It Does

Not everyone writing about adult industry is able to surf fisting videos at work. If you’re looking to promote a new vibrator, or gangbang, or hook-up app, make sure you’ve minimize what they have to dig through to get to the story — and alert them if you’re sending them a link they might not want to open in public (or in front of their toddler). If I can’t visit a site, I can’t write a story.

5. No One Can Reach You

For an industry that loves press, we bury our contact information. I often get calls from journalists looking to get in touch with a certain producer or performer. I might Google the home number for your 2257 records-keeper to find you, but most journalists won’t. Build a press site with information and a direct email or phone number.

6. No One Can Reach You In Time

An average blogger might turn around 5-10 stories a day. A beat journalist at a daily might have twelve hours. Have someone in your office who can reply promptly, or at least ask when their deadline to file is. You don’t have to participate in every story, but you should at least have the option.

8. Know Before You Blow

Want to avoid bad press? Know when it’s coming. When you get a press request, Google them like you would a first date and comb through their previous work like a scene partner’s testing history. Look at their social media. What’s their approach to sex? How to they view sex work? Do they treat interviewees respectfully? Are they balanced? Do you really want to get in bed with a journalist that isn’t?

9. You’re Pitching To The Wrong Person

I spend a good hour each morning running through recently published stories on sex, dating, porn, censorship and other spaces. I make notes as to who covers what and where, and who’s doing good work. I keep my ear to the ground for industry stories I’d want to write (and if I don’t have time, I pass them along to journalists who can). It’s like running a dating service.

You might not have the time to comb through it all, but if you don’t know who is writing about your business for places like Maxim, Huffington Post or Cosmo, how can you expect to pitch the right person?

Mike Stabile is a journalist and filmmaker who has written about the adult industry for publications including Playboy, Buzzfeed, the Daily Beast and The New York Times. He has worked as a press liaison for Kink.com, NakedSword, Glyde, Eros.com and the Free Speech Coalition, among others. He can be reached through his website, PolariMedia.com or followed on Twitter @mikestabile.

Related:  

Copyright © 2026 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

Delicto Serves Up Online Retail With a Side of Super-Charged Sex-Ed

Meet Rose MacDowell and Sarah Riccio, co-founders of the online pleasure product hot spot Delicto.com. Since 2021, these business owner besties have been slinging vibes and dildos while openly sharing their love for self-induced orgasms on social media — a strategy that has earned Delicto half a million followers on TikTok.

Colleen Godin ·
profile

LoyalFans' Anastasia Pierce Bridges Creator Education, Empowerment and Ownership

Anastasia Pierce beams when she talks about her 26 years in the industry. Full of passionate energy, she clearly doesn’t just work in adult; she loves it.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Tips for 'Soft Selling' to Today's Shoppers

"This is our bestseller.” “You should get this one instead; it’s stronger.” “This one costs more — but it’s way better!” In adult retail, sweeping statements like these can sound impersonal and make shoppers feel rushed, unseen and unsupported.

Sara Gaffoor ·
opinion

Growing Site Revenue Under Ever-Changing Compliance Rules

Over the past year, many merchants have reported earnings that were flat or even a bit down. This is due to three main factors: age verification regulations, click-to-cancel rules, and banks backing away from cross-sales due to regulatory requirements and the rollout of the Visa Acquiring Monitoring Program (VAMP).

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

A Guide to Displaying Sex Dolls In-Store

Sex dolls are high-priced and visually striking, but often misunderstood by first-time buyers. Displayed poorly, they can seem intimidating, gimmicky or off-putting. Displayed well, they become conversation starters, high-quality premium products and confidence-boosting sales opportunities.

Jessica Sav ·
opinion

AI Safeguards for Platform Compliance and Trust

If your platform hosts user-generated content (UGC), then you already know protecting your brand is not merely a matter of good design or strong community guidelines. It requires systems that can verify who your users are, filter what they upload and ensure your business stays on the right side of regulators, payment processors and public opinion.

Christoph Hermes ·
opinion

How to Eliminate User Redirects and Improve Checkout Retention

Running an adult site, you work hard to create traffic and make sure your funnel is optimal, with the end goal of getting users to make a purchase. Then, right at that critical moment, what do you do? You send them somewhere else. Not good.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

How AI Is Modernizing Retail HR

With 21 locations, I’m pretty much always hiring. Unfortunately, the employment market these days can be chaotic, as candidates send out applications across dozens of job boards with a single click. For managers like me, this results in more time spent sorting through signals and static.

Zondre Watson ·
opinion

WIFEY at One: Brand Ambassador Serenity Cox Talks Authenticity, Trusted Relationships

Vixen Media Group brand Wifey may be celebrating its very first anniversary in March, but the imprint has wasted no time establishing itself as a distinctive new voice in adult cinema. In its debut year, Wifey captured two XMAs: Best New Studio/Imprint and Best New Site.

Christian Cintron ·
opinion

Rethinking Influencer Marketing in Sexual Wellness

Influencer marketing has evolved over the past several years, and that ripple has extended to the sexual wellness industry. The factors driving the appeal of partnering with influencers — raising awareness and expanding reach — remain just as important as they did when such partnerships first became common.

Naima Karp ·
Show More