Every customer who walks into an adult store brings a different body, comfort level and set of needs. Retail staff already know how to ask the basics: Do you prefer vibration or suction? Are you using water-based or silicone lubricant? Do you have a latex allergy? What size are you comfortable with?
But what happens when a shopper has more complex needs and does not yet know what will work for their body? That is where a broader understanding of chronic illness, disability, neurodivergence and changing bodies can make a meaningful difference.
A small library or retail book section covering disability, neurodivergence, changing bodies and queer experiences can also signal that a wider range of shoppers is welcome.
Start With an Inclusive Approach
Complex physical and mental health needs are more common than many people realize. According to the World Health Organization, “An estimated 1.3 billion people experience significant disability. This represents 16% of the world’s population, or one in six.” The Neurodiversity Alliance estimates that 15-20% of the global population is neurodivergent.
For adult retailers, those figures are a reminder that accessibility is not a niche concern. A significant share of customers may be navigating mobility limitations, sensory sensitivities, menopause, chronic pain, medication side effects or other factors that affect how a product feels and functions.
The challenge is learning how to open those conversations without making assumptions or asking customers to disclose information they would rather keep private.
Anyone who has worked retail long enough has put their foot in their mouth. I once had one of those days when the computer would not boot, the printer jammed, the coffee was burnt and I was cranky. A customer came in just before closing to return an item with a coupon attached. I gave her the wrong information; she became upset and left. She came back, I apologized and we moved on.
It was a small mistake, but it reminded me how quickly a routine interaction can go wrong. The stakes can feel even higher when the conversation involves menopause, medication, mobility, trauma or sensory needs.
Retailers can make those conversations easier by giving customers ways to start them on their own. Signage can highlight practical features such as vaginal moisturizers, hands-free designs, easy-grip controls or softer materials. Posters and infographics can offer information customers can review privately before approaching staff. A small library or retail book section covering disability, neurodivergence, changing bodies and queer experiences can also signal that a wider range of shoppers is welcome.
The goal is not to diagnose anyone. It is to create enough context that a customer feels comfortable saying, “I have trouble gripping small controls,” “Vibration overwhelms me” or “I need something easier to position.” Those statements give staff useful information without requiring customers to explain their health history.
Give Staff Practical Training
There is a good chance some employees will not have firsthand experience with the needs their customers describe, and that is OK. Training does not require staff members to become medical experts. It requires them to listen, understand product features and know the limits of what they can responsibly recommend.
Start by looking at products through an accessibility lens. Which toys can be used hands-free? Which have larger buttons or simple controls? Which positions require less mobility? Which lubricants or body-care products are designed for people with sensitivities? Which products are latex-free? When staff can answer those questions, they can translate product knowledge into useful guidance.
Manufacturers and distributors can be valuable training resources. At Altitude Intimates, for example, I attended sessions that covered ingredients for customers with sensitivities and menopause concerns, latex-free products, furniture that can support positioning, hands-free toys and other practical considerations. Retailers should take advantage of vendor trainings, toy talks and educational sessions, then bring that knowledge back to the sales floor.
Just as important, teach employees when to stop. If a shopper asks whether a product will treat a medical condition, work safely with a prescription or address a symptom that needs clinical attention, staff should avoid medical claims and encourage the customer to speak with a qualified health care professional.
Make the Workplace Accessible, Too
The same principles should apply behind the counter. Store owners and managers are responsible for creating a workplace where employees can communicate what they need to do their jobs effectively.
Some accommodations can be straightforward: a chair at the register for an employee who experiences fatigue, a sharps container for a worker who uses injectable medication or a quieter way to communicate instructions when someone is dealing with overstimulation. The right accommodation will depend on the individual, so conversation matters more than assumptions.
Angela Craig of Bodacious Bustlines Bras and Lingerie in Saskatchewan, Canada, shared how navigating menopause as a business owner highlighted the importance of self-awareness, honest feedback and open communication. Her experience underscores why communication matters: When employees feel their needs are recognized and respected, they are better positioned to extend that same care to customers and vendors.
Ultimately, retailers do not need to have every answer. They do need curiosity, empathy and a willingness to keep learning. I live with multiple health issues and use accommodations every day. Those experiences have helped me understand and support people in ways I might not otherwise have learned.
An inclusive store is built one practical decision at a time: better product knowledge, more thoughtful merchandising, more flexible workplaces and better questions. Those changes can make adult retail easier to navigate for disabled, neurodivergent and chronically ill customers, while creating a better shopping experience for everyone.
Mersy Love is co-owner and co-founder of Bodacious Afterhours, a sexual wellness boutique specializing in independent brands, Canadian-made pieces, and niche kink and fetish items. As a certified phlebotomist and chemist currently pursuing a master's in sexual education, Mersy offers education and therapy across all areas of intimacy, disability, neurodivergence and BDSM.
