For a long time, sex dolls were dismissed as cheap novelties used by lonely heterosexual men. This was especially true of early, inflatable versions, which became the butt of jokes in pop culture. However, things have changed dramatically. From higher quality and a range of styles, to shifting shopper demographics, the sex doll market has expanded beyond expectation to encompass a wide array of experiences, desires, choices, purposes and uses — they’re not even just for sex anymore.
To effectively discuss the latest developments in the full-size sex doll market, we first must address some major misconceptions.
You might be surprised to learn how many gay men, heterosexual women and gender expansive people show interest — and they’re not all looking for the style of doll one might expect.
Misconception #1: All sex dolls are women. When you say “sex doll,” most folks automatically envision something made to look stereotypically hyperfeminine, but these days there is a lot more variety out there. Notably, the market for cisgender male dolls is currently growing. There are even transgender dolls.
Misconception #2: All sex doll shoppers are men. The sex doll conversation is often centered around heterosexual men who buy dolls that look like cisgender women. While that is certainly a significant segment of the shopper demographic, you might be surprised to learn how many gay men, heterosexual women and gender expansive people show interest — and they’re not all looking for the style of doll one might expect.
Misconception #3: Sex dolls are just for sex. The greater realism of today’s sex dolls allows them to serve as more than simply a life-size sex toy, and many sex doll owners are open online about the companionship and connection that their dolls provide. It’s easy to make assumptions about the role that sex dolls play in people’s lives, but those assumptions are often based on stereotypes and social stigma.
Misconception #4: Buying a sex doll means you can’t get laid: This is another unfair stereotype rooted in unkind stigma around the use of sex dolls and the purposes they serve. Much of the stigma is related to gender stereotypes and unrealistic standards of masculinity — the idea that having sex regularly with human partners makes a man “high value” and worthy of respect, while failure to do so makes men lonely losers. As a corollary, we tend to view sex dolls as “replacements” for partners, and to assume that owning a sex doll must indicate a lack of any human partner in the picture. The truth is that people purchase full-size sex dolls for numerous reasons. Some have disabilities or health conditions that keep them from easily leaving the house or socializing regularly. Others live in places where it is not safe for them to publicly express or explore their sexual or gender identities, or in isolated areas where dating and hookups aren’t readily available. Whatever the reason, sex dolls are nothing to feel sad about or ashamed of. They are tools, even luxuries, that help people live sexually and emotionally fulfilling lives.
Misconception #5: Only single people use sex dolls. If you believe that sex dolls are just for people who can’t find sex partners, then you probably also assume that people who have partners would have no need for dolls. This is incorrect, and frankly, a boring outlook! Sex dolls are, of course, used by single people around the world — but they are also frequently used by couples, as enhancements and tools to play with together. For people in relationships, sex dolls serve a number of fun purposes, including exploring group sex scenarios without the risk of STIs or other complications that arise from adding another person, satisfying a higher-libido partner and indulging fantasies while remaining monogamous.
Helping Shoppers Find Their Dolls
The way adult retail staff talks about and sells full-size sex dolls can help immensely with overcoming these misconceptions and the stigma that has long plagued sex dolls. For most shoppers, a full-size sex doll represents a sizable financial investment. While you always want to be sure that shoppers leave with what they want, in the case of sex dolls, retailers really need to go the extra mile to make sure customers take home exactly what they need.
Unlike vibrators, for instance, sex dolls aren’t easily displayed in brick-and-mortar stores where shoppers can interact with them and view every option and detail. This means the sales process is going to be different than with smaller products. Here are some tips for equipping your staff with the information, perspective and approach that can help make a sale and a lifelong customer.
Learn about sex dolls beyond the features on the sales sheet.
Especially as sex dolls become more sophisticated, learning about the materials, sizing, options, benefits and details that help shoppers make choices requires greater effort. Manufacturers of sex dolls often know their target shoppers intimately and are fantastic resources for specific information, including popular features or answers to common questions. Don’t hesitate to reach out to manufacturers or your preferred distributor to find out what trainings or support materials might be available. If you are a manager or storeowner expanding your sex doll offerings, invest in virtual or in-person trainings from people experienced with these specialized products.
Own your assumptions and judgments.
When it comes to sex doll shoppers, never assume anything. Just as we can’t guess someone’s sexual orientation or gender, or what kinds of sex they like, we can’t assume what sex doll shoppers are looking for or how they plan to use their doll. When engaging with shoppers, start from scratch. Ask open-ended questions like “What have you heard about dolls like these?” or “What are some physical features that you most want the doll to have?” Let them guide you to the right product, not the other way around.
We all make judgments; it’s part of being human. What matters most is whether we can acknowledge and take responsibility for our judgments, instead of letting them take the wheel and determine our interactions with shoppers. Knowing that your own opinions about sex dolls are unkind, or that the opinions of a staff member may be unhelpful, is useful. It means you can make an effort to be more intentional about how you discuss sex dolls, or simply rethink which staff members should be tasked with those sales.
Be ready to order.
Sex dolls tend to be products that must be ordered, so make sure you and your employees know what the procedure is for doing so. No shopper wants to stand around awkwardly while someone yells across the store, “Hey, Bill! Do we ship this guy’s sex doll here or to his house?” It may sound funny, but stuff like this happens! Keep the process smooth and easy by training and preparing your staff ahead of time.
The full-size sex doll market is rapidly expanding, and this once-maligned product category is quickly going mainstream. It is therefore vital to challenge long-held misconceptions and think differently about sex dolls, who is using them and why. Embracing the future of the full-size sex doll market can help you better serve your customers and contribute to a healthy bottom line.
Rebecca Weinberg is an award-winning industry leader with more than 20 years of experience in the adult industry. She is the president of multi-award-winning pleasure product manufacturer XR Brands.
