As company founder and CEO at kink- and BDSM-focused manufacturer XR Brands, Ari Suss has built his one-room-office ecommerce outfit in Maryland into a national household name in pleasure products. Since Suss launched XR Brands in 1999, he and his team have grown the company to encompass 4,000 active SKUs, over 65 brands and several warehouses in Southern California.
Suss largely credits XR’s explosive evolution to employing the most trusted sexperts in the adult space, and to supporting his team just as much as they support him.
Everyone in our family understands the benefits of what XR offers, and they are proud that we are making a difference in people’s lives.
“My magic formula for growth here at XR has been to empower my team’s strengths by supporting them with the tools they need to be successful, give them the room for creativity, and ensure that I do my best to maintain morale,” Suss explains. “Or as I like to say, ‘Less stress, more success.’”
There is another secret to XR Brands’ success, however — one that has nothing to do with bondage rope or inflatable butt plugs. Some of Suss’ key team members have been supporting his mission from the very beginning, literally: his mom and dad, Paul and Lilly Suss.
Even before joining the XR kingdom of kink, Suss’ parents encouraged him to follow his dream of building up his first ecommerce venture, ExtremeRestraints.com.
“My parents knew I was selling adult products on ecommerce platforms for a few years before we started selling BDSM,” Suss recalls. “When my dad, Paul, walked into my storage room, he was surprised to see some pretty hardcore products, but surprisingly, he kind of shrugged it off. I remember he was happy to know I was passionate about my ecommerce business and supported our mission of helping people explore and fulfill their fantasies.”
Ari Suss started his professional life as a business school graduate with a marketing MBA. He worked in finance for mainstream giants like Black+Decker and Coca-Cola, but never truly felt passionate about crunching corporate numbers. Suss completed his MBA at Loyola College while still with the Coca-Cola Company. In the evenings, he taught marketing classes part-time at Towson University. Soon after, he filed the paperwork to register XR as an LLC before turning in his resignation at Coca-Cola.
Suss’ first retail venture with Extreme-Restraints.com was focused on B2C sales, where he says soft BDSM items sold even better than the more hardcore kink products he initially set out to promote. Despite having established office space in Maryland, Suss’ inventory quickly spilled over to his home, eventually leading him to secure XR’s first California warehouse and headquarters in Huntington Beach, California.
As sales continued to climb, Suss tapped the smartest numbers guy he knew to keep the finances flowing.
“My dad is a CPA with more than 50 years of experience, so when our existing accountant was no longer able to manage our fast growth, I asked him for help,” says Suss. “Paul’s responsibilities have grown from accounting to include management of our legal, tax, HR, insurance and real estate needs.”
Just as he’d imagined, Suss’ father proved to be the ideal hire for XR’s executive-level team.
“I could not have found a smarter, more well-rounded and dedicated businessperson to become our CFO,” he boasts of his dear old dad. “He has been at XR for 13 years and helped us through so many growth phases and tough decisions. We learned a lot from each other, and I am proud our relationship is as good as, or better than, before he came onboard.”
Suss’ mother initially tried her hand at product sexpertise, but found that she couldn’t share the required knowledge with clients without turning red.
“My mom, Lilly, came aboard around the same time and first started in customer service,” Suss recalls. “She never got fully comfortable talking about sex toys and how they were to be used, so we found her sweet spot in collections. She has been in accounts receivable for 11 years and helps keep our accounts current.”
While she doesn’t officially work for the company, Ari’s wife, Lieu Suss, also plays an important support role.
“When I first met her, I initially told her I was in the medical business to ease her into the full spectrum of what we did,” he muses. “It’s technically true, as some of our products, like enemas and speculums, are used for medical purposes as well as sexual. She warmed up to the industry after some time, and before our kids came into the picture, she even traveled with me to some trade shows to gain a better understanding of what we do.”
Now practically a seasoned industry veteran herself, Lieu Suss has become something of an on-call Jill of all trades, a role that allows her to gently rib her husband when the moment strikes.
“Lieu has become an invaluable sounding board for advice and ideas,” says Suss. “She often jokes, ‘That’ll be 500 bucks for my consulting services.’ She is always there for us, too. When we’ve been short-staffed in the warehouse, she helped sort and package orders until we caught up. She is happy to roll up her sleeves and do what it takes to get the job done.
“Most importantly, though, Lieu reminds me not to take my job as seriously as I do, as there are other amazing things to see and accomplish besides running a business,” Suss adds.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the Suss family tree, and Suss’ grand venture has been cheered on from all sides, including the sibling department.
“My family is open-minded,” shares Suss. “My sister owns a clinic that helps kids with autism. You wouldn’t expect there to be overlap between our two very different companies, but at one point she debated whether to private-label our sex swing stand as a therapeutic rocking device to soothe her clients!
“The vast impact of our products never ceases to surprise me,” Suss marvels. “Everyone in our family understands the benefits of what XR offers, and they are proud that we are making a difference in people’s lives.”
Besides selling internationally renowned BDSM equipment, Suss’ favorite thing in life is constantly reminding his team, whether blood-related or hired in, that they’re kicking ass on the daily.
“Many of our staff here have been with us for 22 years and feel like family,” Suss notes. “In a lot of ways, we have biological family and also adopted family here at XR. We have an excellent executive team with decades, if not centuries, of combined industry experience. They truly are the momentum that grows us year over year, and I am there supporting them every step of the way. I enjoyed helping structure the vision, strategy, marketing and management of the company and my executive team helped me execute.”
Next year will mark XR Brands’ 25th anniversary. As that milestone draws near, Ari Suss is grateful to his family staff members for helping to keep the entire kinky outfit powering along. Whether a literal family connected by bloodline or found family discovered via emailed resume, the people who work for Suss are dedicated to him and to upholding the ethics and practices that define the company they have built together.
“I believe this helps hold all of us to higher standards,” concludes Suss. “Our actions need to be in the best interests of our customers, employees, vendors and business partners — but also our family members.”
