How and when are entrepreneurs born?
Prior to putting your aspirations into motion, it is easy to sensationalize entrepreneurship. For those without a business background or formal college education, owning a small business can feel unattainable, only acquirable by birthright or induction. The truth is, everyone can possess the entrepreneurial spirit in one way or another. However, acknowledging the voice within to build a business — and blocking out voices that may hinder growth along the way is a different story.
Earning trust is imperative to sustaining a loyal customer base, which translates to profit.
The Oxford Dictionary defines an entrepreneur as “a person who organizes and operates a business, taking on greater than normal financial risks.” Oxford’s attempt was valiant, but entrepreneurs undertake far more than financial risk; try social, psychological and biological.
Truth be told, my vision to create a pleasure products business was sparked by my first blended orgasm. At the time, I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing biomechanical difficulties or having a religious experience, still debatable. But in that moment, bare-bottomed on my bedroom floor, an entrepreneur was born. That’s a good look for an entrepreneur.
Fast-forward through the nitty-gritty details of putting a team in place, developing a product, and luckily securing seed funding, we then submitted our product to CES for consideration. (Spoiler: we received the award.) Our celebratory dance was abbreviated when CTA stripped us of our accolade. By doing so, the CTA marginalized our innovation and denigrated my anatomy as “immoral, profane and obscene.” I wasn’t aware we were still ascribing to medieval medical texts. I also wasn’t aware anatomy was accepting returns.
If you’re following a roadmap — prepare for detours. In business, Murphy’s Law is in effectual overdrive, however, loss and misdirection are golden opportunities for growth. The CTA debacle became the most circuitous silver lining that could have happened to our small startup, which had just seen the light of day. This decision on behalf of CTA catapulted a worldwide conversation, the chatter of which amalgamated from gender disparity into a paralyzing problem within: imposter syndrome. Under a global spotlight, I struggled to believe I deserved to helm a company; I struggled to believe that my voice was deserving of being heard.
An insider secret: no one is immune to the shadow of self-doubt. Part of the human condition is to question our “enoughness.” Pronounced by the fact that entrepreneurs are innovators, not just business owners. You will experience growing pains between the milestones of exploration and invention. You will not, by osmosis or otherwise, know all the accouterment about engineering and business strategy, or product development overnight. It is a process that requires trial and error along the way.
Imposter syndrome is a sneaky shadow. I am a perfectionist to my core, which meant my internal dialogue was my most crippling critic. Who was I to demand change without prior experience in the pleasure products industry? What authority did I have? What most entrepreneurs don't foresee is the mental and emotional fortitude required to maintain success. Owning a business will often call on you to reverse-engineer your personal validation system or risk psychosis. Every entrepreneur needs to develop a threshold for when they confront and concede to criticism, internally and externally, and the cornerstone of that threshold is empathy. The bedrock of this blueprint implements ubiquitous wellness practices for personal and professional development. When you are compassionate with yourself, what ensues is a domino effect of confidence that silences the imposter syndrome and spreads to your employees, colleagues and even competitors. When you, as an entrepreneur, embrace your fallibility you give yourself permission to grow while remaining empowered. When you feel empowered, the work environment becomes empowering, your employees are empowered, and your business reaps those benefits organically.
You are the architect of your success. Build it with positive self-talk. You are allowed to make mistakes. You will make mistakes. Show up and try, because attempting is success. Forgive yourself for being mortal. Productivity will not be perfect, but productivity is progress, and progress is more than profit points on a graph.
As vogue as altruism is these days, the old-world mentality has stubborn roots. The old business model presumes inherent selfishness — a superficial interpretation that can create a double-bind conundrum. Businesses will only advocate for their best interest, but then so will consumers. What we lack on both sides is trust. Earning trust is imperative to sustaining a loyal customer base, which translates to profit. While I believe no one will be as invested in your company as you, we are entrepreneurs. When we identify a problem, we propose a solution. So, how do we fix the misconception of ‘inherent selfishness’? Invest in your people.
Lucrative business doesn’t necessitate commoditizing employees. Support your team. Employees are not extensions of mechanical factory arms. Benevolent employers see massive performance increases because their employees have a stake in the company’s success. If people are the backbone of your business, it is vital that your foundation is solidly supported.
Altruism doesn’t stop at the door of your brick-and-mortar. United by the social imperative of gender equity, our competitors became our comrades. Some of my closest competitors are my biggest cheerleaders, and those to whom I owe much of my success. This new paradigm prioritizes policy before profit; camaraderie over competition. Creating a sexually equitable world involves all of us. If we want to be included, we need to practice inclusion. That includes embracing different business strategies, approaches to product development, et. al. When we become homogenized by our common goals, we allow inclusion to manifest.
Everyone is a critic, even your own shadow. If you’re there, and you’re doing it, then by that logic — you deserve it. The buck starts and stops with you. Regardless of where you are in your journey, remember: It’s just challenging enough for you to succeed. Take the risk; trust that your authentic vision will be embraced. Innovation strikes in unlikely places, even on bedroom floors.
Lora DiCarlo is the founder and CEO of Lora DiCarlo.
