opinion

Ask Your Pornographer First

Ironically, as the adult industry works quietly in a responsible manner (checking hundreds of 2257 documents a day, ensuring performer testing still goes on, and labeling our sites properly to ensure no one accidentally runs into explicit content), the mainstream continues to demonstrate how irresponsible they can be. 

This ironic situation inspired Pink Visual’s Quentin Boyer to write this satirical commentary which made me laugh, so I wanted to share.

Publc Figures: Leave Porn to the Pornographers, Please!

Whether you’re a Congressman who hasn’t quite mastered the not-so-nuanced art of tweeting, a football player overly impressed with his pecker, or merely a has-been celebrity looking for a quick return to the spotlight, Pink Visual has a message for you: stop horning in on our territory, dammit!

Look, us pornographers have a hard enough time selling our wanton wares these days, with piracy of adult content being rampant, putative members of our own industry happily giving away full-length videos and every college student with a smartphone snapping shots of his/her privates to share freely with potential customers of ours; the last thing we need is for the “cultural elite” to be out there on the web competing with us, too.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m sure there were lots of people who were simply dying to see Weiner’s wiener, and itching to get glimpse of Brett’s boner, and I know that public servants, entertainers and professional athletes are all about ‘giving the people what they want,’ but there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about satisfying the public’s desire for the exposure of famous flesh.

Here’s a hint: if you are accidentally giving it away, you’re doing it wrong.

We get it guys; you are proud of your packages and want to share them with the world (or with a few women who aren’t your wife, at least), but for the love of God, show the modicum of dignity and common sense that Montana Fishburne displayed, and sign a contract with a porn studio before you go about exposing yourself to the world.

(Side note: is “Montana Fishburne” the single worst porn name in history, or what? If that’s not a euphemism for Chlamydia, I don’t know what is. But I digress….)

Haven’t the Favres and Weiners of the world learned anything from porn tube sites? If your business model involves giving away porn, the right way to go about it is to give away other people’s porn, while still attempting to sell your own dirty flicks. (Duh!)

Plus, everybody knows if you want to make any sort of real splash in porn these days, it has to be done in the context of a parody of some major mainstream movie or TV show. Sending out self-shot penis pics might be good enough for the bush league porn that comes out of Washington D.C., but if you want to become a real player in the porn biz, you have to think ‘porn parody.’ In Weiner’s case, he wouldn’t have had to wait long for a good opportunity to present itself, either; “The Green Lantern” comes out today — just think of how sweet it would be for Tony to have made his porn debut in a parody of a big budget superhero movie!



So, for all you actors, musicians, athletes, political hacks and other misfits of renown who just can’t resist the urge to give self-made porn a shot… well, if possible, please find a way to resist that urge. If you really can’t help yourself, though, and you have a deep, abiding need to share your naughty bits with the world, for Pete’s sake throw us pornographers a bone (so to speak) and work with us, rather than against us!

Seriously guys, it’s not like Steve Hirsch is a hard man to get in touch with if you’re already famous (for that matter, merely mention your interest in porn during an interview and he’ll find you, trust us on that), and here at Pink Visual we’re always down for trying new things. Heck, we actually specialize in using technology (properly) to allow people to enjoy porn to the fullest extent possible, so Pink Visual would be a natural place to turn for help with your digital dickstribution needs!

What’s the bottom line for all you famous, phallus-flaunting fellows? If you really can’t keep it in your pants, don’t try to DIY your XXX: be responsible about it, and ask your pornographer if smutting it up online is right for you, before you begin any pornographic regimen.

About Me

Follow Me on Twitter

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

What France's New Law Means for Age Verification Worldwide

When France implemented its Security and Regulation of the Digital Space (SREN) law on April 11, it marked a pivotal moment in the ongoing global debate surrounding online safety and access to adult content.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

How Adult Retailers Can Enhance Sales With Supplements

The supplement industry is big business. In 2024, Future Market Insights estimated it to be valued at $74.3 billion, and other market research firms anticipate that number will grow to upwards of $170 billion in just 10 years.

Rick Magana ·
opinion

From Tariffs to Trends: Staying Resilient in a Shaky Online Adult Market

Whenever I check in with clients these days, I encounter the same concerns. For many, business never quite bounced back after the typical post-holiday-season slowdown. Instead, consumers have been holding back due to the economic uncertainty around the Trump administration’s new tariffs and their impact on prices.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

Why It's Time the Pleasure Industry Got Serious About IPX Waterproof Ratings

As someone who regularly communicates with manufacturers, retailers and consumers, I’ve seen how this ambiguity can do a disservice to both the customers who use these products and the businesses that sell them.

Alicia Sinclair Rosen ·
opinion

Optimizing Payment Strategies for High Ticket Sales

Payment processing for more expensive items, such as those exceeding $1,000 per order, can create unique challenges. For adult businesses, those challenges are magnified. Increased fraud risk, elevated chargeback ratios and heavier scrutiny from banks and processors are only the beginning.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

Tips for Sexual Wellness Brands to Win Over Gen Z This Summer

As summer rolls around, the excitement in the air is palpable, especially for one particular demographic: Gen Z. College and university classes are over, vacations are booked and it’s time to let loose.

Naima Karp ·
opinion

The Barcelona Job: A Diamond Heist Drenched in Sweat and Seduction

In a city famed for its architecture and allure, something far more seductive is about to go down. The priceless NakedSword Diamond is nestled deep within a heavily fortified Barcelona museum, and master thief Sir Peter has his eye on the prize.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

Celebrating the LGBTQ+ Community With Inclusive Packaging Design

Pride Month is a time of visibility, joy and self-expression. In the pleasure industry, projecting that energy can start with something as simple as a box. Market research shows that 72% of U.S. consumers say product packaging influences their purchasing decisions.

Matthew Spindler ·
profile

Sara Loverays on Tapping Her Goddess Energy

When Sara Loverays first turned on her webcam, she didn’t know it would change her life — or unlock a side of herself she’d been waiting to set free. What began as a way to make extra cash between travel physical therapy contracts soon became her full-time passion, a platform for self-discovery, and a ticket to building her own brand based on sensuality, self-discovery and “goddess energy.”

Jackie Backman ·
profile

WIA Profile: Pettus Ashley

Pettus Ashley brings her A game to the world of authentic adult branding, flitting between airports as the American face of U.K. brand Bathmate. As a company brand ambassador, Ashley personifies Bathmate’s dedication to the retail world, showering staff with equal amounts of appreciation and sales education.

Women In Adult ·
Show More