opinion

Bombs away with BULLETS!

Geesh!  You know, I'm crackin' with blogging about all different kinds o' sex toys, drill down (or, is that, drill IN) with individual sex toys (product testing is the best part of this job!), and give ya lots of general info, too. So here's another installment for ya!

You already have the 411 about silicone dildos so how's about dem bullets?  Yeah, bullets and eggs... A quick peek at my Grandopening.com website leads me to, WHAT??!?  SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE CHOICES!!  Let's see, that almost works out to one bullet for almost two years... what's a girl to do?!

Okay, let's break this down to a couple of categories... how about small and wireless first. There's one touch mini ones, big wireless ones, little wireless ones, remote control ones (okay, they usually have a small wire for the radio signals).  These bullets are great to use clitorally (externally), or some of 'em can even get slipped into vagina land and they'll make your pelvis vibrate better than one of those fake pussy masturbation jack packs for guys 'cuz it's the REAL THING!  (Okay, so maybe the other difference is that you have to buy us dinner first).  But you have to pop out the small wireless bullets if they're inside, otherwise your upcoming sonogram is gonna look pretty weird.  Learn how to squeeze 'em out which is the best way to do it.

Squeeze 'em out... oh yeah.  Using that great sex muscle, aka PC muscle or, if you really wanna get technical, the pubococcygeus muscle, which connects the pubic bone to the coccyx bone (your tailbone) and is basically the pelvic "sling" that holds your guts up, otherwise aforementioned guts would pool around your ankles and make walking difficult, never mind breathing a little tricky.  The PC muscle in gals can squeeze around anything inserted and squeeze out anything that needs it to.  It comes in handy when you want to pop out a wireless bullet when the action has trickled out of your throbbing snatch.

BUT!  No matter how good you think it might feel, you NEVER want to put a wireless bullet up your butt because it can easily slip into never-never land and just ask any emergency room tech about the latest x-ray they took.  It's only funny if it happens to someone else...

Okay, so let me pick a couple of my favorite bullets for their quality and power:  the simplest and easiest to use is the Screaming O, single speed one touch bullet that takes 3 LR44 watch batteries.  Easy to travel with, easy to use.  A little bigger (and not so much for insertion) and incredibly powerful, is the Ro-88 Chrome Bullet, a single speed beauty that is strong enough to satisfy those gals who insist that bullets aren't strong enough.

But in all of my experience in selling bullets and vibrators to thousands of horny folks, Pipedream's wireless remote vibe is the best for quality, value, and thrills.  This wireless, slightly larger, remote controlled sucker works through METAL WALLS AND DOORS and up to about 100' away.  I'm not kidding.  Put this one up your lovebox and let the fun begin.  And it has 10 speeds so just hand over the control to someone else and go along for the ride.  You won't be disappointed and you'll be hungry for more.

Speaking of horny... I have to get back to more product testing... poor me...

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