NEW YORK — Stephen Colbert is cracking up over Texas lawmakers’ crackdown on sex toys in the state.
On Thursday, "The Late Show" host took aim at a pair of bills making their way through the Texas legislature. One would require shoppers to verify their age when purchasing “obscene devices” online, while the other would ban big-box retailers and other stores not considered “sexually oriented businesses” from carrying sex toys.
Under Senate Bill 3003, online retailers who don’t comply would be charged with “criminal negligence.”
Colbert, who has never shied away from politics on his CBS talk show, said it “sounds like somebody wrote up a bill 'cause they got busted.”
“What? Honey, no. I’m browsing these sex toys because I’m mad at them,” joked Colbert. “Oooh, this stupid silicone ribbed one that’s in my cart, you make me furious! Free two-day shipping? Look at that.”
Another proposed bill known as House Bill 1549 prohibits the sale of sex toys at retail stores that aren’t “sexually oriented,” such as Walmart and CVS, where sex toys are currently available.
“OK, now you’ve gone too far,” warned Colbert. “This is Texas. This is freedom country. And you can have my dildo when you pry it — gently, please.”
Texas actually has an old law on the books that deems it illegal to possess six or more obscene devices, though the U.S. Court of Appeals ruled in 2008 that “the statute cannot be constitutionally enforced.”
However, the ruling made Colbert raise an eyebrow, as he joked that “around the seventh dildo, it’s fair to be like, 'Dude, what are you doing with seven dildos? They’re scaring the cat.'”
The proposed bills are being widely condemned as regressive and ineffective, as sellers have navigated similar crackdowns in the past.
