WankzVR.com Offers Robert Kraft a Free Lifetime Membership

LOS ANGELES — In light of recent allegations against New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft involving a prostitute in Florida, WankzVR.com has offered Kraft a free lifetime membership to help him legally solve all of his needs from the comfort of his own home.

“It’s possible that Mr. Kraft is unaware of the major technological advancements that virtual reality headsets have brought to fans of adult entertainment in the last couple years,” says Bradley Phillips of WankzVR.com. “That’s why we are offering Mr. Kraft a free headset of his choice, and a lifetime membership to WankzVR, because in this day and age there really is no need for a man of his stature to be visiting illicit massage parlors or other illegal venues just to fulfill his sexual fantasies.”

Phillips says all WankzVR members enjoy fully immersive VR content, where they can explore the environment of a massage parlor without leaving the safety of their house, “in a carefully crafted stereoscopic setting that is far beyond anything any 4K flat screen or movie theater can create.”

The site goes even further with well-known actresses and their costars performing as everything from superheroes to zombie slayers, along with other creative fetishes from nearly every genre of hardcore adult entertainment.

“Now is the time [to] stop watching porn, and to start living it, as proprietary new camera technology and the content created every week allows fans to live like a billionaire owner of an NFL franchise,” Phillips explains. “With WankzVR, you are no longer watching a movie, you’re living it with just as much excitement and emotion as actually being there… and without any of the negative headlines or health risks associated with the sort of behavior Mr. Kraft was allegedly involved in recently.”

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