March. Most of us know it as the month where we can take a sigh of relief. Valentine’s Day is over, the holiday chaos dissipates, and we have a moment to breathe freely without panic that we ran out of the heart-shaped butt plugs. Normally, we would begin preparing for a slower season — add some Shamrock pasties and “Luck of the Irish” panties to our retail floor, and sit back for a brief moment. But this year, St. Patrick’s Day is no longer the priority on many retailers’ agenda. This year, shamrocks are out, and Pussy Power is in.
March is Women’s History Month and this year we also celebrate the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment guaranteeing American women the right to vote.* In an industry historically dominated by men, the 21st century is here to upset that scale. It only seems appropriate that female, femme and queer-owned and operated businesses and individuals are beginning to take over the industry. While the ‘60s may have been the age of the sexual revolution, 60 years later there’s a new sexual liberation on the horizon, and it’s challenging the antiquated views and ideas of pleasure. The dawn of Pussy Power has led to a pleasure revolution that is inclusive to all individuals — pleasure for the people, by the people. So how do we in the industry keep up with what is more than a fleeting trend and transform our retail spaces to be more inclusive?
Supporting female, femme and queer-owned and operated businesses and people is not only an investment into these companies and individuals, but an investment into the industry, as well as in your store, employees, customers and community. A shift in the needs of clientele has occurred. Customers are in search of not just a product they’re told will get them off, but a product that complements their life and personal mission and was created to truly allow them to experience pleasure. Companies whose missions include promoting feminism, sexual wellness, and agency as well as orgasms, excel, as well as their products — or at least they would if we guaranteed they had a place in the market and were an option for consumers. Yes, not every product is for everybody but to have an assortment where there is at least something for someone is essential. Representation matters. The return on the investment will prove its worth over time in more ways than just monetary. If you invest in the community, the community will invest in you.
Clientele is no longer monolithic. With the conversation around pleasure becoming more open and beginning to include more than penis owners, there has been a significant shift in those who purchase pleasure products. Stores are witnessing a broad spectrum of individuals of varying ages, backgrounds and preferences. Today, more and more vulva owners walk through the doors of adult stores than ever before, and it is our responsibility to make sure that not only do we keep those doors open and welcoming, but that the product they are searching for, the experience they are searching for, is also available.
Winner of the 2020 XBIZ Legacy Award and founder of CalExotics Susan Colvin, a titan in the industry and a woman, has been dominating the adult novelty world for 25 years. I reached out to Susan to learn more of the obstacles she encountered in her position.
“One of the most significant hurdles I had to overcome was getting people in the industry to give our products a chance,” explains Colvin. In the beginning, I had to prove myself to others. I was held to a higher standard in comparison to many of my male colleagues. Although our products were higher quality and more inclusive, retailers weren’t convinced that their customers, who were predominantly male, would be interested in products with a feminine twist. At the time, sex toys made up a small space in retail stores, so it was competitive and a real challenge to show why our products brought value to these retailers. I’m incredibly grateful to the retailers who did give us a chance. We wouldn’t be where we are today without them.”
Susan hasn’t been the only individual to experience hurdles in the industry. Supporter and collaborator Angela Mustone expressed her struggles with the societal expectations when it came to founding her company.
“The biggest hurdle in starting HighOnLove was breaking down barriers and making people feel comfortable enough to embrace their true desires,” Mustone said. “Similar to sex toys, there were taboos associated with cannabis and sex. We don’t believe our products should be hidden in drawers. So, we tackled this challenge in two ways. First, we designed luxurious adult products with lavish bottle designs that could both help women find the freedom to explore and enjoy while being luxurious enough to be an accessory on a nightstand. Secondly, we continue to educate the media, consumers and key stakeholders on the benefits of cannabis in sensual products and the overall physical and mental health benefits of sexual wellness and cannabis products.”
Creating a space where any customer can leave feeling empowered and like “100% that bitch” is essential if we are going to be successful in the marketplace. Pussy Power isn’t only for vulva owners; neither is feeling 100% that bitch. I asked Trenna Shaw, founder of Very Shameless, the brand that coined the term Pussy Power, if she feels her branding and use of the term “Pussy Power” limits her customers to only those with vulvas: “My audience has a strong woman base and I love women’s empowerment but it is not just for women and that’s the best part. My brand is for everybody—women, men, the LGBTQ community, those in marginalized communities. I made my brand to represent everybody and it feels amazing we can all love and rock products without gender or society restrictions.” Pussy Power is an idea, a feeling, that is for anyone who yearns to explore and own their sexuality and pleasure.
2020 is the year of owning pleasure and sexuality, so we must do the same in this industry and provide the space for that ownership to begin. Pussy Powering up your business starts with the interactions with clients, the product you offer, the workshops and trainings you teach, the individuals you employ, and the education and acceptance you advocate. Establish your business as a safe space where all can truly tune in, be turned on, and not drop out. Invest in sex educators and conduct workshops that discuss a variety of topics within the pleasure field. Ensure staff are trained not only in product but also have thorough knowledge of pleasure-focused inclusive sex ed. Include a diverse product offering from companies that have missions that aren’t only monetarily focused but are pleasure and equality focused.
Nenna Joiner, founder of inclusive sex-positive adult store Feelmore Adult, emphasized that inclusion needs are not just industry-specific but also have a higher purpose. “Safer spaces are needed everywhere in America and sex shops are no different. Rather our type of stores, believe it or not, owe it to our community to not just be inclusive based on products, but because it is the right thing to do. The goal is for the bottom line to be green or black but there are people that are brown, black, white, etc. needing to be respected and seen more than anything. We owe it to our community!”
So what is it like being 100% that bitch? The adult industry is starting to see a rise of women and queer individuals taking the lead. These leaders are re-inventing the wheel of the pleasure industry through groundbreaking innovation and sextech. Susan Colvin’s words of wisdom should guide all those who seek to lead.
“My advice to women in this industry is to trust your instincts, lead with your heart, and remember, anything is possible. When I started CalExotics over 25 years ago, I had no idea that it would become the award-winning company it is today. It wasn’t easy. Dreams are never easy, but my team and I worked hard and kept pushing forward. I’m blessed to say that our perseverance paid off. I believe if you’re passionate about your work, it will show, and people will take notice. Use that passion to fuel your business and always strive to do the best you can in all things.” Passion and perseverance ring true in the words of many when it comes to leading this industry. Tracy Felder from COTR, Inc. says, “First thing, stay true to yourself and find a channel in the industry that you believe in. Connect with like-minded folx who help provide a great support system. Take hold and ride it to the end.”
I encourage you to take March to reflect on how your business or store contributes to the advancement of this industry and the communities that we serve. How are you paving the way for equality, pleasure and inclusivity? Yes, put the shamrock pasties out on the floor, but don’t forget to Pussy Power up your store by investing in and highlighting female, femme and queer businesses and individuals. Because as Mustone says, “everyone deserves pleasure.”
Don’t just applaud Lizzo — become 100% that bitch yourself!
*Footnote: While the 19th Amendment gave American women the right to vote; it wasn’t until much later that indigenous women and women of color were given that right.
From United Nations international conflict mediator in the Middle East to buyer and merchandiser for the Museum of Sex in New York City, Kit Richardson is no stranger to the complexities of society and sex.
