Many of the personalities we surveyed eschewed the typical canned responses of “I hope to lose weight” or “I resolve to be kinder to those around me.” Below is a list of the funny, sincere and oftentimes revealing new year’s resolutions from some prominent names in the business.
John Gray, Chairman & CEO, Spearmint Rhino We have approximately 8,000 (that's right — eight thousand) dancers worldwide, and in a year-end inventory we came up with 7,935 pairs of breasts. Thus, we are forced to recheck our inventory as an odd number cannot possibly be right!
Jewel De’Nyle, Owner & Director, Platinum Jewel My new year's resolution is to become a professional drinker, get covered in tattoos by my boyfriend who works at Miami Ink and to fuck him as much as possible. I think this pretty much puts me at rock star status.
Michael Klein, President, LFP My resolution is to stop saying that watching the Hustler TV channel in the office all day is only for business reasons.
Robert Interlandi, Director of Marketing, Arrow Productions This whole year next year I'm going to teach Debbie Does Dallas how to Deep Throat.
Roy Karch, Director, Roy Karch Productions My goal for the New Year is to stay focused.
Mary Carey, President, Mary Carey Productions My new year’s resolution is to stay sober, work hard, play hard and get my own reality show on VH1 after my show “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew” airs in January.
Peter Reynolds, Vice President of Sales, Adam & Eve My new year’s resolution is to seek out anyone out there who knows how to clone me.
Randy West, performer and director My new year's resolution is to find a girl with 18 holes so I can have sex and play golf at the same time. And also to do a membership website with my buddy in Vegas so I don't have to go to L.A. too much to work.
Keith Webb, Vice President, Titan Media My resolution is to continue speaking out about HIV/AIDS awareness, both in the industry and the gay community.
Tony Batman, Host, "A! Entertainment" In 2008 I vow to take two hours a day to myself — no stories, no porn, no phone calls, and go back to the gym to regain my youth. I also vow to stop helping people who refuse to help me back. In the adult industry the nicer you are, the less you seem to get back in return. Let's see how long this one lasts as it’s in my nature to want to help. Before the end of 2008 I vow to be on a national cable network with "A! Entertainment." This should be the year we go full out; the groundwork has been laid in 2007 and it is my new year's resolution to finish the deal in 2008.
Seka, Golden Age adult star What I would like to see in the upcoming year are as follows: happier people, less stress, kindness to our planet and ourselves, and more people with a smile on their faces. I hope to lose a few pounds and keep eating all of the things I really love. Last but not least, I resolve to have a shitload more sex. The older I get the hornier I seem to be.
Paul Thomas, director, Vivid Entertainment As cliche as it sounds I cannot overemphasize the importance and power of NOW. To Carpe Diem. To be here now. And the rest will take care of itself.
Robert Lombard, Owner, Creative Image Management and Casting I resolve to continue down my path of discovery while retaining ethics, integrity and respect for all the individuals that are in my life.
Adella O’Neal, Director of Marketing/PR, Digital Playground I resolve to practice harmlessness and surround myself with humility and kindness. I also want world peace and a pony.
Mark Kulkis, President, Kick Ass Pictures My resolution is to make Cum Eating Cuckolds not only a household name, but a talking point in the upcoming presidential election.
Ricky D., Director My New Year's resolution is take a big dive into the Internet scene by launching ImJustATeen.com, AssHarass.com, and the other sites I want to develop. Hype Dough only has one site currently, but in the next year we hope to launch at least two more reality-based sites.
David Ballow, National Director of Operations, Pleasure Chest I resolved to stop introducing my boss as "the Sippy Cup of Sunset Plaza."
Courtney Cummz, Contract Star, Zero Tolerance I resolve to get off as much as possible, eat healthier, keep up with the gym, visit my neice often (these little fuckers grow up so fast), and allow my ASS to make billions!
Jenny Hendrix, Adult Star My new years resolution is to become the hottest and most talked about porn star of 2008!
Adrianna Lynn, contract star, Digital Playground I’m not big into resolutions. I live the way I want to live at the moment.
Eli Cross, Director My New Year’s resolution is to make a big-budget feature that is less than four hours long.
Devinn Lane, Director My New Year's resolution is to have my new business be successful to the point that I may be able to live on a organic goat/pot farm in Jamaica, keep my house in Los Angeles, buy my land in West Viginia, and never, ever, ever, have to deal with people from Exotic Erotic Ball ever again.
Nikki Benz, Adult Star My New Year's resolution is to have more sex! Seriously! I never thought I'd say this, but I get so busy with traveling for feature dancing gigs, hosting parties at different night clubs, shooting for my website NikkiBenz.com, and shooting scenes for various production companies, that I run out of time and energy to have more sex in my private life. Another New Year's resolution that I have is to expand my brand and name online.
Jamie Gillis There is no need to make a resolution when you are already as purpheked as I am.
Stoya, Contract Star, Digital Playground I resolve to make some fantastic sexy erotic movies that you never forget. Heh, seriously, I don’t really get that into holidays, so I usually don’t think about new years resolutions.
Buck Angel, Transsexual Adult Star My New Year's Resolution is to be more outspoken about safer sex, and to inspire others in the adult industry to follow my example and use condoms and have hot, safe sex in their movies!
Jimmy D., Director I resolve to resolve all that I left unresolved in 2007.
Eon McKai, Director, Vivid-Alt I resolve to really apply myself and pay attention in class. This way I can bring home bring home better grades and make my parents proud.
Holly Randall, Director and Photographer, Suze.net My resolution is to work on character building — to try and be a better person. To listen more, to try and see things from other people's point of view, and to be more compassionate overall.
SilverCash Albert, V.P. of Business Development, Silver Cash and Silver Sinema My new year’s resolution is stop introducing myself to random girls like so: “Hi, my name is Moe from XBIZ and I can make you a star!”
Jason Green, Co-owner, Paradise Visuals At Paradise Visuals our New Year’s resolution is to continue producing and releasing quality new features in addition to our classic adult library. Together with our distributor Anabolic, we believe we can bring Paradise to the masses. My personal resolution is to cut my hair and get a real job, which would make my parents very happy.
Diane Duke, Executive Director, Free Speech Coalition Resolution: Organize the industry or accomplish world peace…whichever is easiest.
Kelly Madison, Owner/Adult Star, Kelly Madison Productions My new year’s resolution is to actually have sex with another man on film other than my husband. I have been doing this adult biz thing for seven years now and I’ve only had one cock! What is up with that? Hey, he has a nice cock and I am madly in love with him and I have had sex with over 300 girls but a girl needs to mix it up with some new cockage. I think 2008 might be the year to have a new sex mate. Hey, it even rhymes: “Year 2008, Kelly Madison gets a new male mate!”
Kimberly Kane, Director/Performer My New Years resolution is “Do or Die.”
Tera Patrick, Adult Star/President, Teravision I am looking at 2008 as the year for me to break through more than ever before. I look to further cross over into mainstream and as my company grows, I am finding more time for my personal projects, and my art and dancing. I plan or raising a lot of money for b.a.b.e. charity and giving money and time to all the animal charities I work with. I feel fortunate to be able to give something back.
Spyder Jones, CEO/Director, Teravision Tera and I are working on so many projects — writing a book, a TV show, and of course, our XXX best. But a big part of my focus for ‘08 will be getting in the best shape of my life and blowing up my new band, The Spyderz. Also, there will be a Biohazard reunion. Rock and porn, doing what I do and love best! God bless America.
