Hot Octopuss Sends England's World Cup Team 'Guybrators' Following Defeat

LONDON — U.K.-based pleasure products innovator Hot Octopuss has sent each of England’s team players in the World Cup its signature Pulse “guybrator” product following their 2-1 defeat to Italy on Saturday.

Hot Octopuss sales reps say the company has seen a marked increase in sales of its flagship “guybrator” following the World Cup kickoff last week, asserting that sales have doubled since the first match, and quadrupled following the Saturday defeat. The company jokingly attributes the sales spike to “disappointed footie fans the world over looking to Pulse to help relieve them of their frustrations.”

“It’s important for the boys to practice their ball control off the pitch as well as on it so, in the absence of their WAGs (wives and girlfriends), and in a bid to raise their spirits following last Saturday’s blow, we have sent each of the England players their very own ‘guybrator’,” Hot Octopuss said in a statement. “Not only can the brand look forward to a continued surge in sales, we also hope to see a noticeable improvement in the boys' performance.”

Co-creator of Pulse and Hot Octopuss CEO Adam Lewis said, “We’re thrilled the product is doing so well in the wake of the World Cup. Every red-blooded man knows what a struggle it must be for the boys without their WAGs, so we thought we’d send each of the players their own Pulse to the training camp in Brazil so they’ll be scoring all night.”

The next 2014 FIFA World Cup match for England is against Uruguay at Arena Corinthians in Sao Paulo, Brazil. The match will play on ESPN on Thursday, June 19, at 11:30 a.m. PST in the United States.

Lewis added, “We’ve had countless reviews from men worldwide, all testifying to Pulse’s unique ability to relieve and regenerate, so let’s hope Thursday’s game is a reflection of this.”

Pulse is currently nominated for Hot Product of the Year at the upcoming StorErotica Awards, presented by StorErotica Magazine. The Awards celebrates excellence in the adult retail community and honors those in the brick-and-mortar storefront, distributing and manufacturing levels.

Winners will be announced at the industry gala on the evening on Sunday, July 13, during the summertime ANME Founders Show in Burbank, California.

The innovative “guybrator” was also acknowledged earlier this year with a 2014 XBIZ Award for Couples Sex Toy of the Year.