Flynt Urges Vitter to Provide ‘Plug’ to Help Gulf Oil Spill

BEVERLY HIILS, Calif. — Hustler Magazine publisher Larry Flynt has written a letter to Republican Sen. David Vitter urging the Louisiana lawmaker to personally contribute “diapers and other personal items” to help control the costly effects of the BP oil disaster.

Three years ago, Flynt and his team of investigators assisted in exposing Vitter’s extracurricular activities with female prostitutes.

Others have reported on the senator’s penchant for diapers during his transgressions. Vitter later apologized for his “very serious sin” after documents released by the D.C. madam, Deborah Jane Palfrey, revealed that he had patronized her high-end, fantasy escort service.

“Sen. Vitter has gone on record claiming that the oil spill in the Gulf is ‘too big of an endeavor’ for one company,” Flynt said.

“Accordingly, in an effort to protect the coastlines and marshes on the Gulf Coast, I am asking Sen. Vitter to use the personal articles that he’s best known for to aid in the relief. His experience in the discipline of ‘spills’ is unprecedented.”

In the letter to Vitter, Flynt acknowledges the senator’s statement that everyone does their part to solve this catastrophe. Additionally, he suggests that, when it comes to blocking the oil that’s gushing into the gulf, Vitter might consider donating his extensive collection of diapers, known for their super absorbency, to help stop the leak by creating a giant “plug.”

“As I understand it, you have some expertise regarding diapers. I have no idea how many diapers you actually have on hand (quite a collection from what I hear) but as you know, diapers are quite absorbent,” the letter says.

“It could be a historic moment: An ecological disaster thwarted. And you’ll get the credit for it. In fact, when people hear the word “diaper” they will automatically think of you. Hell, they already do.”