Not Jersey Boys XXX: A Porn Musical

Even if you’re not a fan of the iconic Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons, one would be hard-pressed to not only recognize the melodies in the songs parodied in "Not the Jersey Boys XXX," but also to not laugh out loud as these numbers are performed.

Indeed, thanks to some outrageous songwriting and ridiculous performances, director Will Ryder has done it again with another charming porn musical that will leave fans wanting more from the genre.

The versatile Tommy Pistol is sensational as Franki Valli in one of his best comedic roles to date, leading the group and narrating much of the show’s porno-fied story. “We looked more like pizza delivery guys than a polished band,” Valli admits as he reflects on how the band was ready to do just about anything to score a record deal in the early 1960s.

Valli finds his “signature sound” when the band’s sleazy manager and guitar player, Tommy DeVito (Chad Diamond), gives him a pair of pants that are too tight, turning his voice into a high falsetto.

“With the tight pants constricting my testicles, we found our signature sound,” Valli says in a heavy New Jersey accent.

They take that sound to seedy record producer Bob Crewe (Jeff Mullen in a silly non-sex role), who among other things, wants keyboard player Bob Gaudio (Eric John) to fuck his secretaries and hires the guys as gigolos to fuck another one of his artists, Caramel (Anya Ivy).

To say Ryder took creative liberties would an understatement, what with turning hit songs such as “Big Girls Don't Cry” into “Big Tits Don't Lie” and changing lyrics such as “You’re just too good to be true...Can’t take my eyes off of you” to “You're just too good to be screwed...Can't take my dick out of you…”

Sex scenes with Eric John, Zoey Monroe and Ryder Skye in Crewe’s office; and Carmen Caliente and Chad White after a musical number are the hottest of the bunch, but romps with Anya Ivy and Kurt Lockwood (the drummer) and Pistol and Bailey Bae also contain some strokable moments.

Each of the songs is cleverly written and performed with tongues firmly in cheek. It all just works for Ryder & Co., who is on a roll with porn musicals after past successes with “Not the Wizard of Oz XXX” and “Grease XXX.”

Here’s hoping there will be more to come.