opinion

All's Fair in Love, War

I don't normally frequent porn parties, so when I was invited to the Wicked Pictures charity barbecue, I was inclined to pass. That was until Wicked's vice president Joy King dangled the irresistible carrot before me: there would be a dunk tank, and Luke Ford was going to be in it.

Now before anyone can understand my gleeful anticipation of dropping this man into a tank of water before a jeering crowd, one must know my history with the adult industry's most controversial, yet most famous, blogger. Those who hate him tend to be his most dedicated readers, and those fascinated by him must relate in some way to his love-hate relationship with porn.

I spent quite a few years in the industry before I even knew who Luke Ford was. When I finally got a publicist, I was warned against this snake of a man, a truly sociopathic beast I was told, one who twisted your words to suit his own agenda, which of course was never in your favor.

Since I'm the kind of girl who likes to do exactly the opposite of what she's told, when I met Luke in Tampa at the Nightmoves Awards Show, I instantly latched onto him, curious to know this person I'd heard such horrible things about.

What initially attracted me to Luke was that he was an outsider. He always carried a very serious book in his back pocket at parties, so that when he didn't have an innocent young starlet to corner and pose disarming and uncomfortable questions to, he could retreat to a dark corner and immerse himself in tedious literature.

Though I would never pull a book out at a party, I could relate, and often wished I had one when I was stuck somewhere I didn't feel I belonged. And that was often. In fact, I felt it then at that Florida show. I felt it almost all the time when I attended industry functions: I'm not with the "in" crowd and nobody really wants to talk to me. Except for the bartender of course, because I'm going to be his biggest customer that night.

So Luke and I got to know each other, and though we didn't become intimate at that show, it did happen later. I'm asked often why I became involved with Luke, and all I can say is that I was like the dumb kid in the sandbox who plays with the scorpion because I don't think it will sting me. And he didn't until I did what I usually do: end the relationship, and badly.

Of course, it was then I felt the sting. He wrote extensively on my poor behavior, and it wasn't very nice, to say the least. Deep down I knew I deserved it, but my ego was bruised. After some time we reconciled and I thought things were pretty good between us. That is, until I sent myself to rehab, for the second time.

In my depressed and half-drunk state right before my departure, I let it slip to some industry people that I would be going away to treatment and would be unable to fulfill some of my obligations. I had been away for almost a week when I logged into his site and read the introductory title to his little introspective on my sudden departure: "Rehab —What Better Time To Mock Someone?" My temper flared: I called him up and screamed at him when he picked up the phone. And of course, he recorded it all.

In that recording, I swore I would never be his friend again. I swore I would never feel anything but disgust and apathy toward him. And at the time, I really meant it. But I couldn't keep it up. I can't stay angry for long and I do not have the energy to hate anyone. In this respect, I suppose my laziness actually does me some good.

Luke and I made up (sort-of) months after this final dispute, but we were never close again. I still harbored some resentment against him, which brings us back to the party and his participation in the dunk tank. Suddenly I saw a harmless and even comical way of exacting my revenge upon him, and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to take it.

I admit that I am almost incapable of being on time for anything, but the day of the party, I was actually early. There was no way I was missing my opportunity or allow someone to get to Luke before I could. I wanted him dry and jubilant before I plunged him into the dark waters of my sweet revenge. People joked with me about my anticipation for the event and I chuckled along with them. There was merriment in my laugh and lightness in my step, but there was murder in my eyes. I'd been practicing my throw all week. Luke was going down.

Finally my moment came. I bought 20 raffle tickets in case I missed, but Joy promised me that I could throw the ball as many times as needed to hit my target. My first throw was utterly embarrassing — I threw the ball straight at the floor. My next two were just as bad, going nowhere near the white disc that would drop the plank out from under Luke's seat. Luke was growing confident that I would never hit my mark, and he began to viciously taunt me. I laughed along with the crowd, but my blood boiled. He was not going to humiliate me again.

Just as my frustration was mounting, my ball met its mark and Luke was dropped into the tank. In fact, as the words: "Holly you suck!" escaped his lips, he plummeted to a soggy demise in such a way that his last word "suck" was drawn out into a long wail, much like someone who was falling into a bottomless abyss.

After my triumph, I held out the olive branch and helped my former nemesis get dried off and dressed. We were friends again, my resentment having been washed away by that splash in the dunk tank. It's almost fitting that such a silly little feud could be resolved by a carnival game.

My revenge had been enacted, my bloodlust quenched. And Luke, being the newly baptized gentleman he was, kindly walked me to my car.

Related:  

Copyright © 2024 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

Free Agent Auteur: Casey Calvert Expands Her Directing Horizon

Now, having brought that highly-awarded polyamory trilogy to a close, Calvert is concluding the exclusive Lust Cinema directing chapter of her career and charting a new course out into open creative waters as a free agent.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Collaboration Done Differently: Adult Time Discusses Ambassador Program

Since the launch of Adult Time in 2019, award-winning director and chief creative officer Bree Mills has actively explored collaborative opportunities with members of the performer community, seeking out talent whose values align with the company’s and who appreciate the type of content Mills creates for the multibrand platform.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

WIA Profile: Siouxsie Q.

Siouxsie Q has long been a committed artist and organizer. This dual path has garnered her significant recognition for both her creative works and her advocacy. Yet one thing that stands clear in Q’s story is that her motivation transcends mere acclaim.

Women In Adult ·
trends

The Art of Performance: Top Stars Share Current Strategies for Success

While many studio performers are also creators, harnessing the booming indie content and streaming market, only a select few creators also do studio shoots.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Sinful XXX Brings Dreamy Erotica to Life With Business Finesse

As the creative brains behind Sinful XXX, director and producer Roma Amor is primarily responsible for bringing the brand’s signature style of erotica to life. It is a role for which he is well prepared, having worked as a freelance art photographer and video maker since 1996.

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

Anna Claire Clouds Reflects on Triumphs, Career Ambitions

Born and raised in a small town near Nashville, Tennessee, Southern belle Anna Claire Clouds grew up surrounded by nature. She spent most of her time enjoying the rippling waters of the lake, exploring the greenery of the woods and living that country life.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Lauren Phillips Flips the 'Switch' for New Adult Time Series

Veteran performer and cam model Lauren Phillips is no stranger to moviemaking. Well before she began sharpening her directorial instincts, as a prolific performer she worked alongside Gamma Entertainment's award-winning teams to bring their various studio brands to life.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Mazee the GOAT Shoots for the Stars With 'Amazing Films'

In 2016, three years before he entered the adult industry, Mazee the G.O.A.T. was a male stripper on the East Coast. Living in New York made it easy for him to pick up work at private parties and events around the tri-state area.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Queenie Sateen Reflects on Rising Stardom, Making Music

When Queenie Sateen reached adulthood, she moved to New York City to attend the Parsons School of Design, while making music and stripping in her free time.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Skye Blue Talks Fashion, Performing & Being an Authentic Creator

After moving to New York City to attend fashion school, Skye Blue was snatched up by a modeling agency — but when the agency discovered she was camming at night to help pay the bills, she was promptly dropped for violating her contract’s “morality clause.”

Alejandro Freixes ·
Show More