LOS ANGELES — Somewhere on the mean streets of Downtown Los Angeles, Scott Nails wears a Speedo while being chased by a giant scrotum that resembles the boulder Indiana Jones narrowly escaped in "Raiders of the Lost Ark."
Nails is filming a scene from director Ricky Greenwood's new Brazzers movie, "Mega Perv," a sci-fi comedy in which he plays a colorful private detective named Randy Rogers.
"I wouldn't say Randy is an idiot, but he just kind of stumbles into shit and then figures it out," says Nails. "He's just stumbling through life, but things always break his way in the end, kind of like me."
Indeed, Nails lucks out when an LAPD squad car rolls up on him and keeps moving, given his lack of clothing in public.
"I swear to god, the cop rolls down the window, and it's two female officers, and they're both hot," says Nails. "They just look at me in my Speedo and start laughing, and then they take off. It was our first day of shooting, but to them, it was just another Monday in Downtown L.A."
Today, Greenwood and his cast and crew are working within the far safer confines of Studio NV Production Services in Sun Valley, California, which has been turned into a jungle-type lair fit for an alien queen, played by Madison Ivy.
"Mega Perv" finds Ivy playing the Alien Queen of Perversion. She sends a small meteor to Earth, where the space stone effectively functions as a perv radar, corrupting everyone who crosses its path. Losing track of the stone, she sends one of her loyal soldiers, Miss Lexa, across the galaxy to retrieve it before others do, and Miss Lexa hires Randy to find it.
The private eye is so perverted that the stone's special powers cannot corrupt him, which is how Miss Lexa knows she's found the one true Mega Perv.
Planet of the Pervs
Today, Greenwood films Miss Lexa bringing Randy dick-first through a magic portal to her alien planet so he can meet the horny queen, who can sense his deepest desires. The hilarious green-screen sequence is sold by Nails' goofy expressions as he tumbles through space. Once Randy arrives, the queen reads his mind and discovers that his greatest fantasy is Madison Ivy, prompting her to assume the performer's human form.
Before she does, however, Ivy looks like an alien straight out of "Avatar" or "Guardians of the Galaxy," having spent nearly five hours in makeup as special effects makeup artist Gabe of Bawdy by Gabe painted her green from head to toe.
To bring the alien queen's world to life during the seven-day shoot, veteran set construction coordinator Robert was tasked with imagining her planet and building an 8-foot-tall throne covered in vines and exotic flowers. He also rented 12- to 14-foot tree branches and moss-covered ground coverings to make the set look more realistic.
"We got grass skins for the sides, but the set has rocks, and it's not the most fun stuff to kneel on," says Robert, adding with a chuckle, "I can't believe they're doing it, but they are."
Indeed, seven men kneel around Miss Lexa to capture a special effects shot that will be played in reverse. A vine uncoiling from her ankle will appear to wrap itself around her, "Evil Dead"-style.
Greenwood is on the ground himself, clearly unafraid to get his hands dirty.
At one point, talent liaison Janae tosses Greenwood baby wipes so he can clean the phallic vine he has been operating between Miss Lexa's legs.
Just off-camera, grip Jack Vegas operates a smoke machine that lends the alien queen's lair an air of mystery. The scene looks great on the monitor, and though the set took Robert longer to prepare than expected, he doesn't mind the extra effort.
"It was an extra day of work, but this is my high, and I love it," says Robert. "I love a challenge, so if you give me one, I'm going to handle it, because this is what I do."
Makeup artist Elena also enjoys a challenge. She has been adorning the cast with glitter, braids, and sequins while covering Nails in bruises, since his character gets hurt repeatedly throughout the movie.
"It's been fun to do some cuts and bruising, and add a little bit of blood. It's not a Ricky Greenwood production if there's no blood involved," she jokes.
Meanwhile, wardrobe supervisor Eastern Camp, who has worked with Greenwood for the past six months, has dressed Randy in the colorful style of Ace Ventura. The private eye wears a Hawaiian shirt and jeans, a far cry from the "serious" detectives of classic film noir.
Ivy, for her part, designed and created her own costume, as well as Miss Lexa's green dress.
"All the jewelry and clothes are handmade," says Ivy, who has been sewing her own clothing for years and was honored to take charge of the costumes.
"My grandma taught me to sew, so it's kind of our special thing we did together," says Ivy, whose elven jewelry recalls Peter Jackson's "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
"Honestly, if we get recognized for Best Costumes, I would be so happy with that. That would tickle me to the moon," she adds.
The Bigger, the Pervier
When Brazzers first approached him to direct another feature, Greenwood says the company envisioned something with the style and atmosphere of quintessential Los Angeles movies such as "Chinatown," "Drive," and "L.A. Confidential."
"We were pitching ideas, and at the beginning, 'Mega Perv' was more of an action-heist movie, like 'Point Break,'" recalls the director.
In typical Greenwood fashion, however, the project kept getting weirder, eventually evolving into a sprawling sci-fi comedy that plays like a sexualized cross between "Armageddon" and "Men in Black," two of the big summer blockbusters he grew up watching.
"Those movies all had these big ensemble casts, and that's what I like about 'Mega Perv' — the cast is huge, the sets are huge, and there are a lot of cool moments and fun stuff," he says.
The blockbuster scale extends to the movie's ensemble cast. Ivy joins Nails and Miss Lexa for a sex scene, while Miss Lexa leads a six-man blowbang. Princess Emily performs her first anal scene with Isiah Maxwell and Mazee the Goat; Lucy Mochi teams up with Seth Gamble and Girthmaster; and Jordi El Nino Polla opens the movie alongside Abigaiil Morris, Kendra Sunderland and Cubbi Thompson.
Elsewhere, Adriana Chechik plays a Barbarella-inspired character alongside Kira Noir and Vivian Vee. Dredd makes a rare appearance, while Abella Danger pops up in a non-sex cameo to punch Nails in the face.
Ivy's involvement is especially meaningful for Greenwood, who has wanted to work with her since meeting her at the premiere of "Deadly Vows," when she was taking a break from the industry. Unsure whether she would ever return, he was thrilled when she agreed to join "Mega Perv."
Casting Ivy, however, was only the beginning. Transforming her into an otherworldly queen who remained both alien and alluring fell to Gabe, whose special effects makeup helps sell the movie's fantastical world.
"Gabe handles all the monster stuff I do, and his designs look really cool," says Greenwood. "It was hard to make the alien queen look pretty while retaining her alien features, but I think we did a good job."
No Rest for the Pervy
Late in the afternoon, the crew rushes outside to greet a VIP guest offering some relief from the July heat: the ice cream man.
Over a well-earned sweet treat, Greenwood reflects on the ambitious production.
"I'm really happy with how 'Mega Perv' has turned out," he says. "Sometimes on a big movie like this, it can be hard to put everyone in the right place, but we got lucky this time, and the cast is great. It was just a hard movie for me, personally, because I haven't worked with blue screen that much, and you just have to trust that other people will create the rest of the world."
Greenwood will move on to his next feature while Brazzers' post-production team builds those otherworldly backgrounds and puts the finishing touches on "Mega Perv."
"Obviously, I'll be approving their work, but there's no break for me," Greenwood says with a sigh.
Tired or not, the director is clearly in his element: on set, surrounded by a bunch of fellow pervs.
Look for "Mega Perv" later this month on Brazzers.
