LOS ANGELES — It’s late 2021. A cheerful German man with contagious energy and an impish smile texts this reporter the location of a small airport in the Los Angeles area, which due to obvious security concerns — and a few other reasons — I am not at liberty to divulge.
Small airports have a certain unique vibe, which is nothing like the ambience of their colossal counterparts like LAX. The airstrip in question is one of the locations for a new project by Texas Patti and her partner Patrick Habig — the aforementioned impish German gentleman, who is not only in charge of all logistics but is also a key part of the plot, in a non-sex performance/comic relief capacity.
The central gimmick of the project, dubbed "Fake Flight," is that it takes place up in the air.
Okay, enough coyness: it’s “Fake Taxi” but they fuck on a plane.
That was the logline, verbatim, that Patrick gleefully shared with XBIZ as he was figuring out the tricky logistics of legally shooting sex acts while airborne in the really, really friendly skies.
“There are all kinds of rules and regulations about what you can and cannot do on a plane,” Patrick told XBIZ. His pilot — a flight instructor who would not take part in any mile-high shenanigans, but was game enough to steer the aircraft while Texas Patti and a rotation of assorted male and female performers do the thang and make the whoopee — nods knowingly.
Suffice it to say that some of the flights departing from this mysterious location, where smallish and privately owned planes come and go for pleasure and assorted businesses in and around the Greater Los Angeles area, are engaged, technically speaking, in “flying lessons.”
But once the lesson is over — and they could well be very short lessons — it’s showtime. Or to be more precise: it's the usual full-scale smut-comedy extravaganza we’ve come to expect from Patti and Patrick.
On the day XBIZ visited the set/airport/plane, the duo were garbed in outlandish costumes — hers, black swan-like; his, a schoolboy uniform — which they excitedly explained were a reference to an obscure plot in the cult TV show “The Umbrella Academy.”
“But how is this connected to the plane? And to the ‘Fake Taxi’-like concept?” the baffled reporter inquired.
“Ah!” Patrick eagerly declared. “That’s the thing! So, we meet this girl [played by Kyla Keys] here at the airport, right? And we are the hosts of like a reality show. And our thing is, we are these characters from ‘The Umbrella Academy’ but then we get her to come up for a free plane ride. And then she has sex on the plane, like ‘Fake Taxi.’”
One would think that translating the simple concept of the landmark U.K. porn series — woman gets into cab, then pays fare by having sex with the driver in the back seat — would be pretty straightforward, but it is not so in the carnivalesque world of Texas Patti and her multipurpose utility-knife of a partner.
“Oh, also,” Patti adds, “Patrick forgot to say that there’s a whole thing where he keeps thinking he is going to have sex with me and I keep turning him down.”
“It’s a comedy,” Patrick says. “We are the hosts. It’s gonna be very funny!”
The Eternal Allure of 'Sex on a Plane'
Patti and Patrick have spent several months banking scenes with top U.S. talent for FakeFlight.com, which launched this month in Europe and internationally.
After relocating to the U.S., the top firecracker Germany-to-America transplant that is Texas Patti has been on a hell-for-leather mission of making sure everyone in porn knows who she is and what she is about.
The stunts have paid off, with her own billboard on the Las Vegas Strip, high-profile shoots for Hustler, Evil Angel, Brazzers and other studios, legit U.S. representation through OC Modeling, podcast and YouTube appearances, streaming, quotes and profiles in mainstream and industry sources — and the list keeps going.
Habig explained that they “used the downtime during the pandemic creatively and intensively to realize our largest project to date.”
Soft-launched on March 1 and ramped up through April, "Fake Flight," he explained “will go through the roof and into the air.”
According to a rep’s description, “starting with actual sex on the plane, through hot numbers in the airport hotel to a quickie in the duty-free shop or frequent flyer bonuses with sexy stewardesses, there are as few limits to the erotic fantasy as there are to the obvious lust of pro/am or famous couples who equally succumb to the fascination of sex on a plane.”
To join “the imaginary and legendary ‘Mile High Club,’” the rep continued, “smooching and fumbling doesn't count.”
“Rather, admission to the club only applies to sex from an altitude of 1,852 meters,” the rep clarified with Germanic precision.
“Fake Flight,” its literature proclaims, “promises great and horny potential for a new high-flyer in the porn genre.”
Fly the Really Friendly Skies
Even though Texas Patti is an XBIZ award-winning performer who boasts hundreds of hardcore scenes under her garter belt, when faced with high-altitude thrills, she revealed, she was so excited to film the first scene, costarring Codey Steele, that her "panties got wet the moment the plane took off."
At the production/directorial level, Patrick also confirms that the shooting of "Fake Flight" also presented the greatest challenges of his career so far.
Ultimately, though, Patti considers that the process was "very easy for me and Patrick, albeit in different roles, because all the actors are pros, had a lot of fun and did a great job."
"Not only great costumes and locations, but also wit and charm will provide erotic entertainment for the viewer," Patrick weighed in. "I've shot and produced a lot of big films and series in Europe, but I've never done such an elaborate series. It took us a good two years to prepare. The hardest part was getting all the permits. It also took a whole year before we had the right team together."
As for the seemingly off-the-wall “Umbrella Academy” costumes, the rep teases that “series junkies and fans will perhaps quickly realize that there is a continuous background story in the episodes with Patti and Patrick, which is surprisingly original and based on a well-known Netflix series.”
Of the roughly 20 sex scenes already in the can, some feature marquee names such as Charlotte Stokely, Aiden Ashley and Steve Holmes. The site plans to unveil one new scene every week, plus “every three months there will be a special episode in the form of a special adventure sex scene,” Patrick noted.
“We at Texas Patti Productions want to outdo ourselves every time,” he concluded.
For more information, visit FakeFlight.com.
