LOS ANGELES — Psychology Today has published a thoughtful interview with "Daniel," a gay adult performer who is also a practicing therapist working with "a new model of sexual acceptance" that pivots dramatically from the standard practice of a sexually conservative field.
"Daniel is not just a figment of my fevered imagination. I’ve changed names and details in order to protect his privacy," noted Dr. David J. Ley. "Daniel believes he will come out publicly at some point, and this article is a part of that process. But for now, he’s interested in telling his story and exploring what his journey says about the therapy industry and his own journey through his sexuality."
Daniel, Ley observed, became an adult performer after working for a number of years as a therapist in the traditional mode; he cited Jet Setting Jasmine as an opposite example of someone who "came to a nontraditional model of therapy practice after she had already embraced an alternative sexual lifestyle and adult performance."
Ley described Daniel as "a handsome man with short hair, whose figure and sexual prowess has let him leap to stardom in the gay porn world [recently]. He looks like the prototypical gay porn star, but he talks like a seasoned therapist with a deep and profound level of self-awareness."
Daniel, who is openly gay, got sober from drugs and alcohol as a younger man, earned his degree and began working as a sex addiction counselor. He established a monogamous relationship with a partner but chafed, he noted, with how he had been trained to address sexuality in therapy.
He never bought completely into the traditional sex addiction model, but admitted he never knew about alternative therapies for people wrestling with their own sexual behaviors.
Daniel "struggled with the blend of sexual ignorance and sexual absolutes that were promoted as therapeutic," Ley observed, noting that sex isn't a binary problem with cut-and-dried solutions. "Daniel found that he was far more comfortable being a person in the room with his clients and joining with them as opposed to telling them how to live their sexual lives."
A challenging year — which included the dissolution of his relationship and contracting HIV — prompted Daniel to reassess his life on several fronts. He embraced "a new tribe" in New York City, which included exploring his sexuality. Some of his friends worked as adult performers and invited him to join them.
The experience liberated him. Today, Daniel has a new partner and a newfound sense of peace about his sexual identity; however, he admits to struggling with how to integrate his work as a therapist and as a popular porn star. He is applying those lessons to his daily work with his clients.
"Daniel no longer identifies as a therapist specializing in sex addiction and is now navigating ways to help clients who struggle with their sexuality, focused on reducing shame and increasing their self-acceptance," Ley said.
Read Part One of the article at PsychologyToday.com here; Part Two is forthcoming.
