LOS ANGELES — All right. The exorbitantly large Dr. Manhattan vibrator that appeared on the third episode of the HBO series "Watchmen" has generated heated buzz, with fans, critics and everyone in-between taking to social media to share in their collective shock over Laurie Blake's apparent pleasure product of choice.
While some sex toy designers are thrilled to see pleasure products receive positive mainstream press, they believe HBO missed the mark by opting for a comically huge member with actual faux blueprints — no pun intended — that reveal the device to be flawed in several ways, to say the least.
In a recent Gizmodo article on the topic, the "Electromagnetic Lithium Powered Excalibur," as it's dubbed in prototype designs, features some unconventional elements, ranging from lithium transducers, a Faraday cage, electromagnetic induction nodes and, notably, a "strigiform counterweight," which isn't actually a thing.
"Strigiform means 'pertaining to owls,'" writes reporter Victoria Song, "and this blueprint was supposedly crafted by Dan Dreiberg — known as Nite Owl in the Watchmen universe. So I’ll let you infer the weird psychosexual themes of a dude putting in a counterweight that refers to himself into a vibrator based on his ex-girlfriend’s more famous ex."
It all sounds rather complicated for a massive, shiny blue vibrator with a pair of detachable balls.
And indeed, it is — unnecessarily so.
“The complexity of most vibrators is insanely uncomplicated,” explained Lora Haddock, founder and CEO of Lora DiCarlo, whose Osé massager uses biomimicry to promote blended orgasms. “Generally, there are one-function machines containing a counterweight motor, power supply, electrical wiring, simple board and firmware, and a rudimentary [user interface].”
As Song notes, the Excalibur appears to not have a motor and no obvious vibrating element.
“This blueprint is amazing,” says DiCarlo. “They’ve literally taken the most rudimentary technology that I could hack together in my garage — a counterweight motor you can find in any simple vibration machine — and paired it with tech that is so advanced most human beings can hardly grasp it yet."
Other designers, including Liz Klinger of Lioness and Alexandra Fine of Dame Products similarly told Mashable about their qualms with Excalibur, highlighting its monstrous size, first and foremost, which at 13x4-inches long, one commentator notes, equates to essentially fisting yourself and then some.
“Based on some of the user testing we did early on, we found that there were folks looking for a smaller-sized, penetrative toy," said Klinger, similarly faulting Excalibur's stick-straight design. “A lot of vibrators end up having more of a curvature for G-spot or internal clitoral stimulation, which can make the experience more pleasurable.”
Above all, what's most puzzling is that, considering the show's audience and presentation as a futuristic alternative reality, HBO appears to not have done due diligence in designing a vibrator that's even remotely grounded in modern design, nevermind anything that would hint at what sex toys of the future might look like.
Aside from folks' disappointment that Excalibur is unable to scale up or down in size, considering Dr. Manhattan's shape-shifting abilities, Haddock further offered that it could have been nice for the over-engineered, techy-sounding toy to feature some of the more cutting-edge elements of current pleasure product design.
“I would like to imagine that their Big Blue would be a step ahead of current tech abilities by using soft robotics or light controlled polymers,” she told Gizmodo. “Soft robotics is the next step in biological movement mimicry, employing the ability to morph into other shapes using electrical, chemical or thermal actuators.”
Like Haddock's Osé that uses biomimicry in favor of vibration to provide dual stimulation to the clitoris and G-spot, other tech-forward trends include using sensory biofeedback, like Klinger's Lioness vibe, to collect user data and track arousal and orgasms, or Lovense and Kiiroo trailblazing interconnectivity as it relates to sex toys and presenting them as IoT devices.
Sextech continues to be a pioneering industry that's led to discoveries and functionality outside of the pleasure industry, as demonstrated by Lora DiCarlo's multiple pending patents for various technologies. HBO and the show's creative team missed an opportunity to present something truly imaginative, instead opting for an almost grotesque invention that was clearly played more for shock value.
Not to mention, the faux blueprints explicitly note that the toy needs to be placed in boiling water and charged between uses. Presumably, HBO could have at least given Excalibur a longer lasting battery life but, c'est la vie.
Unfortunately, as Song suggests, a branded novelty replica likely won't be hitting stores anytime soon.
