BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Just like on the first day, attendees of Sex Expo NY could not get enough of the fun and informative workshops being held by some of the top experts developing and marketing pleasure products.
To start the day, Ryan, a representative from The Pleasure Chest, gave a detailed tutorial on how to have multiple orgasms.
“Orgasms can be really elusive,” Ryan began. “Let alone, multiple orgasms! But, better understanding how our bodies work, as well as the different types of tissues and nerves … will help us better manipulate our bodies into doing what we want them to do!
“I do want to say it’s important to not be very ‘goal-oriented,’” Ryan explained to the crowd. “Really, when it comes to orgasms, being really stressed about getting your ultimate end goal is one way to not achieve it.”
“You have to investigate! This information is going to be viral for the end product,” Ryan said, then offered the next bit of advice. “You guys have some homework tonight, it’s going to be kinda vulgar but … I want you to masturbate furiously tonight and often. I want you to pay attention … if there is only one thing that you can do to be a better lover to somebody else, or have better sex with yourself, is pay attention.”
Ryan, throughout the workshop, reiterated that you had to pay attention. Pay attention to the cues your body, or your lover’s body, gives you.
After Ryan, CineKink transformed the Sex Expo into a mini-theatre experience that delighted expo-goers.
Before the show, Lisa Vandever, director and co-founder of CineKink, introduced herself as well as promoted the upcoming CineKink NYC 2019 festival, set for next March.
Vandever described CineKink as “an organization dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television.
“Currently in its 15th season, CineKink is an annual film festival and national screening tour that celebrates and explores the wide diversity of sexuality,” Vandever said. “Works showcased by the festival range from documentary to drama, spicy to explicit — and everything in between.”
Expo-goers loved the highly enthusiastic Folsom Street Fair inspired mini-flick, directed by Aron Kantor and featuring Broadway performer Colin Cunliffe, notorious nightlife promoter Mario Diaz, gender-queer drag queen Grace Towers and a variety of San Francisco dancers and performers.
Once the lights had been turned back on, Carly with The Pleasure Chest taught “Advanced Blowjobs.” Once again, the room was packed to the brim with eager attendees. Those that could not find a seat, simply took to the aisles and planted themselves right on the ground in front of the room.
“Before we start, I just gotta lay some ground rules,” Carly, who runs the West Village Pleasure Chest fiercely told the audience. “Don’t yuck anyone’s yum! Meaning, if I talk about something that is not interesting to you at all, don’t go ‘ugh!’ You don’t want to ruin someone else’s pleasure. You don’t want to shame anybody! We’re gonna treat this like Vegas, what happens here … stays here. Meaning, if you see me outside of Sex Expo, you’re not going to go up to me or anyone else and say “Hey, did you ever deep throat your husband’s cock? A little respect goes a long way!”
To add some visual, Carly included a slideshow that detailed penis anatomy, and spelled out some of her best blowjob and handjob tips.
Carly’s major tips included: using the hands to create a makeshift cockring, pushing down on the shaft to indirectly stimulate the prostate, twisting your hands along the shaft and gently grazing with the nails.
“You want to play with sensations,” Carly told the crowd. “Sometimes, all you need to do is use your palm and drag it under the head of the penis, or jerk the cock at an angle. It’ll tighten the skin, and really offer a different type of feeling.”
Up next, Babeland-sponsored workshop “Positions of Pleasure,” led by Cristina Pitter was a hit.
“It’s important that we understand there are different genders, and different names that people use," Pitter said. "But, for this workshop, I will be using cock and pussy. Now, let’s shake things up a little bit … can you guys repeat after me? I could say these words all the time! Fuck!”
The crowd yelled ‘fuck!’ Though not as loud.
“C’mon louder!” Pitter enthused. The crowd obliged. “Cock! Pussy! Asshole! Oh yeah, hit that g-spot!"
After a brief anatomy lesson, with Pitter explaining that the clit and penis were formed from similar tissue, she went on to say, “Remember with penetration, you want to have a sort of come-hither motion. Have all that simulation at the front. Let’s talk about … the sidecar versus the 69. Raise your hand if you’ve ever done the 69 or have been curious about it!”
People looked at one another, and shyly — then more boldly — raised their hands.
“It’s a great position, but I also know it can be absolutely exhausting," Pitter said. "There’s a modification called ‘The Sidecar’ that means you and your partner can each be on your side, in that same ‘69’ position, but with not as much strain! Literally you just have to be on your side, and that gives you a lot more flexibility.”
Other positions included a few from “Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life,” which includes positions for body shapes of all sizes.
“I identify as a fat babe,” Pitter told the audience. “Just because we’re a bit bigger doesn’t mean we are not capable of pleasure or having access to pleasure! It’s important to remember that. You know, it’s just different for everyone, and we should have access to that information! Check it out.”
Up after, Dr. Jess took the center stage again to talk less about “driving your lover wild” and more about creating “lasting love and red hot sex.” In “Sexual Secrets of Successful Couples sponsored by Astroglide With Dr. Jess,” she encouraged the crowd to take risks.
"Okay, so when you’re on a roller coaster ride, you’re flying through the air at 200 miles per hour … the camera’s catching you yelling, your hair’s everywhere … but you’re taking risks,” she said
For those that did not want to take extreme risks in their relationship, Dr. Jess offered the following smaller takes: adrenaline inducing sports, dungeon and kink parties, nude beaches, sex clubs, new toys and lots of dirty talk! And, she added, passion did not have to be direct sex all the time.
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“60 seconds,” she said. “Sometimes that’s all you need to get that serotonin boosted.”
Her helpful “60 second favors” included chocolate on your lover’s pillow, coffee in bed, love notes, warming up someone’s socks or towel, picking up the dry cleaning — that got some hollers from the audience — neck massages, texts and sexts, plus things like running a bath or lighting a candle before sex.
Coming right after, Gigi Engle helped the audience incorporate the toys they purchased at Sex Expo into the bedroom.
“The first thing to incorporating sex toys in the bedroom is to know where to shop,” Engle explained, saying how consumers should research the best places, such as Babeland and the Pleasure Chest, to buy their toys. “When it comes to materials, you don’t want to use anything that is porous. Anecdote time … my first sex toy was a 7-inch, jelly rabbit. It had rotating beads. I swear I held onto that thing for way too long. But, it got the job done … it just wasn’t good for my body!"
“So, when in doubt … always buy toys that are made from medical-grade silicone,” she added. “You’re gonna see, once you know your shit about sex toys, that certain toys will say ‘Made with medical-grade silicone’ and Amazon will try and fuck you over by saying, ‘Made with a silicone blend.’ You always want to look out for medical-grade silicone, because that silicone is also used to make medical instruments.
“The vulva is extremely porous, so you want to be careful with what you put inside it or near it,” she continued. “Especially things that are full of disgusting chemicals that have bacteria in it. Another thing with porous materials in sex toys, is that if you’re using them with multiple sex partners, you can spread STIs that way! So, not only is it terrible for your body, but you’re also risking other people’s health. That’s no bueno!”
After Engle, author, pleasure activist, Good Vibes staff sexologist and Center for Sex & Culture founding director Carol Queen presented the “G-Spot Hunting and Enjoying Ejaculation” workshop, sponsored by Babeland.
“So many people are interested in the g-spot, because they think it’s this magical button,” Queen expressed. “They think that if they hit the g-spot, it will be this major orgasm! But, the reason why people think the g-spot is such a mystery is because there’s so little actual education about it.
“What’s called ‘sex education’ in the U.S. does little to improve the sex,” Queen continued. “So, many people think that vaginal orgasms are the norm. But, in fact it’s not that way. Roughly 70 percent of people who identify as women, don’t have vaginal orgasms ever.
“In intercoruse, the penis usually does not put enough pressure on the g-spot,” she revealed. “But, you can make those special and notable feelings happen with direct stimulation. It’s easier for someone with a vagina to reach the g-spot, than it would be the prostate, through the vaginal walls. At the back end where the clitoris would be, that’s the g-spot! It’s not anatomically correct, but it’s close enough!”
Next, Sex Expo-goers received the answer to the age old question: “How to make good pussy, better.”
Taylor Sparks of OrganicLoven.com led the “bodies-on” session to an enthusiastic crowd. Again, people wedged themselves wherever they could to get a front row seat to Sparks’ energetic personality.
After explaining a few of her favorite sex toy products, such as Touch, an automated dispensing system for warming personal lubricants and massage oils, she pulled a man from the crowd to show the audience a few moves.
Crowds of people flocked to the front of the stage, cameras out as Sparks gently laid the man down on her Throws Of Passion Waterproof Pleasure Blanket. She covered his eyes with a blindfold, and tied his hands to a Liberator pillow.
“So, you can use this for delicious doggy, or oral,” Sparks told the audience as she circled the delicious man lying down on the floor shirtless. “Put the pillow under your man’s hips, so now when you’re giving him a blowjob, you don’t forget the balls! They’re on the pillow, not just hanging on the bed.”
Straddling the guy, the audience could see his heavy breathing as he waited in anticipation.
“For men that like ladies to sit on their chest,” Sparks demonstrated. “When we sit on their face … our knees go flat! With this, there’s a spot for your knees!”
The entire audience rang, “Yasss!”
“Getting It Dirty and Keeping it Clean,” sponsored by Uvee & Vibratex, with Domina Franco was up after.
Franco’s important tips mentioned, “Following each toy manufacturer’s instructions for charging, cleaning and storing! Some toys are submergible in water, some aren’t. You don’t want to short circuit and ruin the vibrator before you’ve even gotten off!
“If you share toys or attend play parties — it’s best to use a condom or protective barrier,” she added. “Also, not all toys are created equal in regards to quality of materials. No toy snobbery, though! We purchase what works for us physically and financially. But, special thumbs-up if your toy is made of non-porous, body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, glass or stainless steel!”
Other tips included, “when in doubt, use a water-based lube!”
To wrap up the workshop, Franco raffled off a Uvee and an hour opportunity to use her services, either by phone or in person.
The penultimate speaker, Ayesha Hussain of TheVioletBK.com, spoke about creating pornography from an ethical standpoint.
“The Violet is a company and space created from sex-positivity,” said Hussain, founder of The Violent. “Our mission is to break the societal taboo around sex and release people from the shame associated with pleasure and pornography through ethical, sex-positive adult imagery that emphasizes consent, female pleasure and inclusivity.”
To create an open dialogue, Hussain started her workshop by asking people to participate in her survey. The answers were anonymous, but appeared before everyone in the audience on the big screen TV.
The questions consisted of, “how old were you when you first watched porn, who was the person that introduced you to porn” and “what are your likes and dislikes about porn?”
Hussain asked people to break off into smaller groups and discuss their idea of porn, before speaking out loud.
It seemed like most people enjoyed when there was a “real connection” in porn, and disliked when female pleasure was not at the center of attention.
To wrap up the workshop, Hussain encouraged people to seek “ethical” porn, to look beyond the mainstream idea of porn.
Last, enthusiastic duo Princess Cosplay and Z. Lovejoy presented “Sexploration,” sponsored by The Fetish Academy.
The tips they offered were: “Exploring can be done by yourself or with a partner. Communication and consent is always first! One way to check in is by making communication sexy — ask ‘how does this feel?’
“Stimuli are endless!” they explained. “There’s speed, temperature play, pressure, pulsing, tickling, sucking and licking. Kink can be anything, from bondage like handcuffs or blindfolds, to spanking/choking, pet play roleplay, and so much more.”
But, the most important thing?
“Remember to be gentle with yourself; everybody and every one’s body is different! Open yourself to possibilities!"
For more information on Sex Expo, or the workshops, visit SexExpo.com. Stay tuned for more coverage.