CamSoda Launches 'Dick-ometrics' Security

NEW YORK —  CamSoda has announced today it will launch “Dick-ometrics,” its latest innovation in biometric security, which uses penises for secure account access.

According to a representative, the first iteration of Dick-ometrics, which rolls out today, enables CamSoda members to use pictures of their penises instead of a password to log in to their accounts on the site. During the log-in process, instead of typing in a password, users will have the option to upload a picture of their penis (preferably an aroused penis, which has more differentiating qualities for verification and are more secure). Using proprietary Penis Recognition Tech or PRT, CamSoda is able to match that photograph with a previously supplied one, and verify the user.

"In order to ensure personal data is safeguarded against unwarranted individuals, biometrics have become progressively popular for its ability to provide a layer of security that is impenetrable," said Darren Press, VP of CamSoda. "With the launch of Dick-ometrics, we are taking things to the next level. Like a fingerprint and an eyeball, which are two of most commonly used body parts in biometric technologies, the penis has many, many differentiating factors like size, color and vein protrusion. However, unlike fingerprints and eyeballs, penises are not exposed to the public a lot of the time and mostly kept under clothing and shared with loved ones — presumably who are trusted."

In subsequent iterations, CamSoda plans to develop technology that uses penises and penisprints, like fingers and fingerprints. Like a fingerprint, users will place their penis on a reader that can look at skin composition and temperature, which adds a layer to security. It also plans to develop similar technology for women.

For more information on Dick-ometrics, visit CamSoda.com/labs.

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