Autoblow Announces Anus Beauty Contest

Autoblow Announces Anus Beauty Contest

CHICAGO — Autoblow has announced the Anus Beauty Contest, which will allow people to vote on the “most attractive anuses” and award the top three winners with $5,000, $3,000 and $2,000 respectively.

In the Anus Contest’s informational video, Sloan says he was plagued by the question of whether or not a beautiful anus exists, and hopes that this contest will find the answer.

According to the company, the Anus Beauty Contest is “a celebration of the democratic process.”

Sloan said, “I hope that all Americans will warm up their voting rights in the Anus Contest before hitting the polls to vote in the presidential election on Nov. 8. I invite people from all countries of the world, especially those which are not democracies, to experience the unique flavor of our American democratic process by participating in the Anus Contest, which I have constructed to be as much like our presidential election as possible. I feel so happy that people of all cultures and of all races and of all religious will come together, even if it is only to vote on the attractiveness of each other’s butt holes.”

The Autoblow 2 was launched in 2014 as a crowdfunded blowjob machine and a viral vulva beauty contest added vaginal functionality in 2015.  To celebrate the upcoming U.S. election, Sloan will add the final orifice with another online first: an anus beauty pageant. For the next 35 days, contestants may submit photos of their anuses to where the voting public will assign each anus a score between one and 10 stars.

Chicago singer/songwriter David Safran wrote and performed a theme song for the contest, which Sloan turned into a karaoke style music video featuring anus-like fruits and vegetables.