Japanese Machine Reportedly De-Pixelates Porn

OSAKA — Are you a Japanese porn fanatic? Tired of straining to see the goods beyond the law-required genital blurring? You may be in luck!

Following a police raid in Osaka that led to the seizure of about 140,000 uncensored DVDs and the detainment of two store owners, Kotaku has reported on the possible existence of “mosaic removal machines.”  

Resembling a contraption that may have served as a prop on a sci-fi B-movie set circa 1952, the mosaic removal machines sport an array of knobs and switches to help unscramble those genitals.

One source claiming to have used the de-pixelator reported ambivalent functionality.

“Does it work? Erm, yes and no,” he wrote on the forum MovieCodec. “Yes — that device is hardware video filter that kinda reduce mosaic using nearest neighbor algorithm [sic]. It reduces mosaic pixel size twice and compares color with adjacent pixels trying to recover missing data.

He continued, “And no, it doesn't work, because mosaic is still there. Besides, it's hard using this device with one free hand.”

The mosaic removers aren’t exactly cheap, running about several hundred dollars, according to Kotaku’s sources. And if the device doesn’t do its job, don’t despair — it may earn its keep as an excellent conversation starter.  

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