Deadspin Compiles 2013 List of Weird Insertions

WASHINGTON — Deadspin trolled the U.S. Consumer Safety Commission’s annual searchable database of emergency room visits around the country to mine for the best (worst?) cases of mistaken (?) orifice insertions.

They sorted by orifice, “working south,” but we’ll skip to the nether regions. According to Deadspin, the year’s most notable E.R. visits involving insertions included:

Penis dice, fishtank airhose, antenna, sewing needle, BB pellet, marble and wide wooden dowel.

Vagina — glue stick, barrette, spoon, napkins, penis ring and small bullet vibrator (still on).

Rectum — pencil, pencils, broken shot glass, ice pack, remote control, pool ball, sock and toy submarine.

To read the full list on Deadspin, including uncomfortable insertions involving the ear, nose and throat, click here.