Not Traci Lords XXX

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Not Traci Lords XXX

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Will Ryder’s latest, subtitled “‘80s Superstars Reborn,” isn’t really a parody but a love letter to porn in the 1980s, when new stars like Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn drew millions of new fans, supported by video technology that made adult movies available at home.

Misty Stone’s crisp narration sets up vignettes about ‘80s stars Traci (Lucy Tyler), Ginger (Courtney Shea) and others in action. Tom Byron appears as super-agent Jim South and, in a nice twist, is also shown as his younger self, portrayed by Tyler Nixon, in a scene with Traci that captures their real-life charisma.

Richie Calhoun as John C. Holmes (he’s hardly as well hung, but then who is?) gets into threeway action with Ginger and Carter Cruise as Samantha Strong. Cameron Dee captures the hotness of Amber Lynn in a steamy scene with Kurt Lockwood as Jerry Butler. Natasha Vega simulates big-boob icon Christy Canyon. Scott David’s costumes and wigs are ‘80s perfection.

Everything crashes with the revelation that Traci was underage when she made most of her movies. The eternal Ron Jeremy has the last word. The scandal put an end to porn’s Golden Age, but it sure was fun while it lasted.

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What if today's top starlets were cast to portray '80s porn legends in a time-machine sex parody? Innocent Traci Lords sucks and fucks her way to stardom with Ginger Lynn, Amber lynn, Christy Canyon, Bunny Bleu, Nina Hartley, Samantha Strong, Nina DePonca, Kristina Barrington, Mai Lin, and John Holmes naked, on set played by the sexy performers of today in the most unique fuck movie ever. It's a hardcore historical gem! Angel Del Rey is "The Fluffer".

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Jared Rutter