In 2013, I made the decision to become a porn star. I was extremely excited that I was finally going to be able to do what I always wanted. Getting into the industry was easy. My first couple of shoots came quickly, and after that, I was shooting regularly.
I had the most amazing time on porn sets; the companies, directors and performers that I worked with were all incredible. I always felt like a superstar and had an amazing time. I used to wish that I never got tattoos so that I could have gotten more work and been on set more, but still, for about a year, I was booked for multiple different porn companies.
The great thing about what I do is that I can choose to do what I want. There’s nothing more liberating than that.
A year later, everything changed.
I remember being on set once, when a male performer told me, “Girls last a year in this industry, and then they don’t get any more work.” I thought he was a jerk for saying that, but after my first year in the industry, work got slower.
Then, I started to feel really bad about myself and over little things, like if I was the only girl in the movie who didn’t get on the box cover or if I was replaced by a more popular girl than me in a tattoo movie. It was really starting to get to me, and my self-esteem dipped. I had lost a lot of weight because of stress, my hair was ugly and my skin was terrible. I decided that I needed to step away from big companies and all the pressure to look perfect on camera and work on myself.
I soon decided to give camming and making clips a shot, because I could control the way I looked. While on a porn set, I didn’t know what angle the camera was hitting me. During a scene, I would think, “Did they catch this outbreak on my chin, or will my ass look flat in all of the photos.” Then, the scene would come out, and of course, it did catch that outbreak on my chin or my ass did look flat in photos. Maybe it didn’t really matter, but it was hurting how I felt about myself. However, camming and making my own videos really gave me control of what I wanted my audience to see.
Making the transition took time. I continued to do mainstream boy/girl porn for the next two years, along with camming every now and again and doing different shoots just to get by. Finally, in 2016, I made the decision to go from working for adult studios making porn to full-time camming and clip-making. I wanted to control my money, the way I looked and what I did on camera.
Looking back now, in my opinion, independent content creation is one of the most challenging forms of sex work because it takes consistency, a good attitude and always being positive. I can’t tell you how heartbreaking it is to get ready for a big cam show and no one shows up or spending a lot of time on a video few people purchase. It took me a while to figure out which hours and content worked best, before I finally attained a fan base.
When I started initially, I would cam whenever I felt like it, with no schedule or set times. I was just testing the waters, and it was difficult to rely on camming and my clip stores in the beginning. But despite all the hard times, I kept going and logging in. My tenacity paid off, because I now have the placement that I worked so hard for. It took me two years to get on the front page of a cam site, and while I tried many of them, I ultimately found my home at Streamate.
Four years later, my life has completely changed. Because when I stopped doing porn, I thought at first I had no place in this industry. If I wasn't some big porn star, then who was I? Nobody? Fortunately, because I started following a bunch of cam models and clip makers on Twitter, I was able to see the success of so many beautiful women; it really gave me the motivation to work harder. I’ve seen women who could make six figures, and I knew I could do that. And I did, with a lot of hard work and dedication.
That being said, shooting porn did help me get my name out there. Shooting for Brazzers, Evil Angel, Kink.com, Burning Angel and other top-shelf adult studios gave me a fan base that I wouldn't have attained otherwise. I’m grateful that I got to do porn. If I could do it over again, the only things that I would have changed are I would have started sooner and saved more money to make the transition smoother. It gave me the platform to be where I am at today.
I don’t think I will ever get back into shooting boy/girl mainstream porn. It’s been so long now, and I’m really happy with what I’m doing. The great thing about what I do is that I can choose to do what I want. There’s nothing more liberating than that.
Sheena Rose is a content creator and cam model who can be followed @SheenxSheen on Twitter and XXXSheenaRose.com.
