Whenever a new year comes, we start making plans, we start making resolutions, we decide we need to go on a diet, drink less, work out more, meet the family often and so on.
By March (if you’re lucky), you’ll stick to the plan, but it’s in our nature to resist change. Totally normal, we’re human, we get it. Comfort is easy.
This year, I challenge you to make a new resolution: what about doing the thing that scares you the most? I’m not talking about having a sit-down with a serial killer, I’m talking about doing something that makes your blood rush, about taking that extra step, going that extra mile.
I’m talking about being a “yes” person.
I’ve talked about this with the #GirlsFromStudio20 and they all accepted it with open arms, all of them doing one thing that scares them the most and what I’ve learned from all their stories is that the biggest fear they had was confrontation.
“I’ve been working with Studio 20 for four years and I’ve never told my parents what I do for a living,” said Eva Devine, laughing. “I’ve taken care of them, helped them with money, sent them gifts and been a good daughter, but never told them what I did. I’m guessing the fear of rejection from them or just a silly fear of the unknown always kept me from saying anything.
“I did it finally, I sat them down and I told them all about it,” she revealed. “It was such a rush, my head was spinning and my heart was racing. Their response was amazing, they started laughing and actually asked me, ‘People really pay you to talk to them? You get to talk to so many people and not even leave your bed? Can your mom do it too?’ It was amazing, thrilling and looking back at it, I can’t believe I was afraid to say it in the first place.”
We can’t compare the challenges we confront in life, they’re different for each person and what I love the most is that thrilling feeling you get when you get something off your chest. Confrontation is never easy, but it rarely leads to a bad thing, and we’re only imagining endless bad scenarios in our minds and end up sabotaging ourselves a lot of the time.
The fear of being rejected, the fear of being unwanted, the fear of not being enough, that’s something everyone had to deal with once in their lives, but all of us came out strong from that, we gained strength and set a higher price for our time, our mind and our heart.
“I can say I did that challenge long ago and I now implement it in the way I live,” said the gorgeous Esmee Charm. “I’m not afraid of confrontation and of speaking my mind, asking for what’s rightfully mine. I was dating this guy for some time and he knew that I was a cam model, he actually supported me and encouraged me to go and work more and more and more. We started making plans to get married, having kids and all of that. I was pouring money into our plans and he just sat on my couch saying he wants this and this.
“I felt obligated in some way to do it and buy things, lend him my car because he was so good to me and so supportive,” she added. “That is, until a colleague of mine, one of the #GirlsFromStudio20, said I’m ill with the ‘cam girl disease.’ When asked what that is, she told me most cam models go through this and try to make up for something that society decided is shameful by buying stuff for the people that stick in their lives. It was an eye opener. I was so afraid of being alone, of being unwanted, of not having a man’s support that I closed my eyes to everything he was doing. But ‘no mas!’ I kicked him out and built my dream house.”
This is a new year, it’s the same old us and that’s not going to change in any way, but making small steps towards something that’s really scary and confronting that fear will only make you succeed. It will be that step forward to something great.
My wish for the new year, is that everyone starts confronting their fears, letting go of some cuntness from years past and in this way, quoting Michael Jackson’s words, “Heal the world, make it a better place,” especially for the adult industry and its amazing execs and talents (I know you sang this last part in your head, haha).