opinion

How to Be the Calm in the Cam Storm

How to Be the Calm in the Cam Storm

They say everything in life happens for a reason or with a good reason. It’s mostly true, but when you find yourself right in the middle of the storm, you’re not exactly seeing the unicorns and rainbows that storm can leave behind.

It’s the same with when I started camming. I grew up in a nice, small city in Romania, the land of opportunities and taboos. My mom is awesome, and my dad is my hero. They both taught me the value of money, the importance of being happy over all other things and they’ve supported me in everything that I chose to do.

My journey through this industry has not been paved with flowers and chocolate. I’ve worked for 14 nights straight before, in shifts of 8-10 hours. That’s a lot even for the best of us. This is not an easy job.

I started camming a few years ago because I heard it brought great money and I actually liked the idea of getting so much attention. That’s why in the first months of performing I was pretty well known at Studio 20 for always putting on a show: I was dancing, lip-syncing, laughing and playing. I was an entertainer and I took my job very seriously.

This past September, during the first-ever XBIZ Europa Awards in Berlin, I won the Cam Model of the Year — Female (Studio) award. I was so nervous on stage, so grateful, so happy and so excited that after I got down, I just needed to breathe and take it all in.

So, when I got back to my room, I lay on my bed and smiled. Then, I felt tears fall down my face.

I never, for a moment, forgot who I was or what my goal is in this industry. I didn’t want to be like anybody else but sometimes, the pressure of the industry got to me.

That’s exactly what I would like to talk to you about: the pressure.

You’ll feel pressure in every industry in the world, no matter what you do, but here, oh boy, there’s the new “Cam Model of the Year” just around the corner.

We live in the digital era, the wham-bam-don’t-have-time-to-say-thank-you-ma’am era, the swipe right and left and the “show boobs, I have five credits and want a quick wank era.” That’s perfectly fine, I don’t mind that.

My journey through this industry has not been paved with flowers and chocolate. I’ve worked for 14 nights straight before, in shifts of 8-10 hours. That’s a lot even for the best of us. This is not an easy job. From growing your cam model account to your social media followers, to being pretty, staying healthy, trying to get sleep and also have a private life, this is not easy.

You have to be hungry and even when you’re full, work like you’re still hungry.

We, as women, and especially as cam models or women in this industry, we’ve got a lot on our plate and even if we are the bread makers in this, it’s still a world governed by men and men’s desires. Some of us forgot how to be women, how to be kind and I found myself at times trying to protect myself from people that were trying to steal my thunder.

During the time that I’ve been camming, I’ve had people come up and say that I should be acting in a certain way, that I should get my ass done, my beauty marks removed, get some colored contacts, dance more, sit more, sit on my head, fly a spaceship, make peace in the Middle East and all of that got me confused to a point where I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I felt that I had to be like a specific cam girl, that I had to create a new persona and that nothing that I did was good enough.

So, consider this a motivational speech for the new cam girls: I was like you, ladies, I was lost and confused and thought that I had to look or talk in a certain way, like a trained monkey. I thank any god that’s out there that I had someone from the studio that kept me grounded and told me, “You’re not here to please everyone, you’re not ice cream. You’re your own damn self and that’s beautiful.”

The secret to success, then? Find yourself, because that’s something that nobody’s got. And don’t be a cunt.

Copyright © 2024 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

To Cloud or Not to Cloud, That Is the Question

Let’s be honest. It just sounds way cooler to say your business is “in the cloud,” right? Buzzwords make everything sound chic and relevant. In fact, someone uninformed might even assume that any hosting that is not in the cloud is inferior. So what’s the truth?

Brad Mitchell ·
opinion

Upcoming Visa Price Changes to Registration, Transaction Fees

Visa is updating its fee structure. Effective April 1, both the card brand’s initial nonrefundable application fee and annual renewal fee will increase from $500 to $950. Visa is also introducing a fee of 10 cents for each transaction, and 10 basis points — 0.1% — on the payment volume of certain merchant accounts.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

Unpacking the New Digital Services Act

Do you hear the word “regulation” and get nervous? When it comes to the EU’s Digital Services Act (DSA), you shouldn’t worry. If you’re complying with the most up-to-date card brand regulations, you can breathe a sigh of relief.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

The Perils of Relying on ChatGPT for Legal Advice

It surprised me how many people admitted that they had used ChatGPT or similar services either to draft legal documents or to provide legal advice. “Surprised” is probably an understatement of my reaction to learning about this, as “horrified” more accurately describes my emotional response.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
profile

WIA Profile: Holly Randall

If you’re one of the many regular listeners to Holly Randall’s celebrated podcast, you are already familiar with her charming intro spiel: “Hi, I’m Holly Randall and welcome to my podcast, ‘Holly Randall Unfiltered.’ This is the show about sex, the adult industry and the people in it.

Women In Adult ·
trends

What's Hot Now: Leading Content Players on Trending Genres, Monetization Strategies

The juggernaut creator economy hurtles along, fueled by ever-ascendant demand for personality-based authenticity and intimacy — yet any reports of the demise of the traditional paysite are greatly exaggerated.

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

An Ethical Approach to Global Tech Staffing

One thing my 24-year career as a technologist working to support the online adult entertainment industry has taught me about is the power of global staffing. Without a doubt, I have achieved significantly more business success as a direct result of hiring abroad.

Brad Mitchell ·
opinion

Finding the Right Payment Partner

Whenever I am talking with businesses that are just getting started, one particular question comes up a lot: “How do I get a merchant account?” It’s a simple question, but it has a complicated answer.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

The Taxman Cometh for Every Business

February may be the month of romance, but it is also a time when we need to think about something that inspires very little love: taxes. April is not far away, and the taxman is always waiting. This year, federal and most state income taxes are due Monday, April 15.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

The Continuous Journey of Legal Compliance in Adult

The adult entertainment industry is teeming with opportunity but is also fraught with challenges, from anticipating consumer behavior to keeping up with technological innovation. The most labyrinthine of all challenges, however, is the world of legal compliance.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
Show More