Let me set the scene for you. It’s a coffee place, at night. A man and a woman are sitting in front of each other laughing and flirting. “So, what do you do?” he asks. “I’m a cam girl,” she replies.
This is the moment when most conversations end in a weird and long pause.
I know so many of my members’ stories, so much about their lives, and they know a lot about mine. I am myself. I don’t play a role. I don’t stall so that I get more money. It’s real and honest and that’s why they keep coming.
“Umm ... cool,” he might say. “I am totally open-minded and think that sex work is still work. So, do you have a lot of clients?” followed by increasingly awkward questions like, “Do they force you to do it?” and, “So, you can’t say no to anything, right?” or even “Cam girl is the nice way of saying hooker or escort.” This is also the moment that I usually get up from the table, roll my eyes or just hear my heart break again. You see, this isn’t a fictional scene; it’s actually a common occurrence in my life.
In 2017, when people have been to the Moon, where there are animatronics that could be mistaken for real humans, when people have information in their hands with just a press of a button on their smartphones, people somehow still live under the impression that cam girls are sex slaves forced to work in a room with five other girls, like a sweatshop.
Let me tell you what a cam girl really is. Let me introduce you to our world and maybe open your eyes a little bit so maybe … just maybe, some of you will understand. And for those dear readers that already are cam models, please pass the article along to someone who doesn’t cam and that person can understand us better. Sharing is caring and being informed is really important. That’s how people evolve, right?
I’m not going to say my name. I am one of the #GirlsFromStudio20. I am a cam girl and pretty damn proud of it. And you know why? Because I’m 20-something, I have paid all my debts, bought a car, an apartment and right now I’m writing during my vacation from this amazing place which I paid for myself. And when I get home from my vacation, I’ll still have money to spend because I upload the photos and videos that I’m taking here onto my website … and that brings me money too. Hell, I think I might even stream a bit from the pool.
How many mainstream professionals can say that about themselves?
But it’s not all glitz and glam, I’ll admit.
A normal day of work, depending on your preference, starts early in the day — for me, it begins at 6 a.m. I take my coffee in my car to the studio and drink it on the way. When I arrive, I put my make-up on and try to wake up as fast as I can, so when I get online I’ll be all perky. Nobody wants to talk to someone that’s grumpy or sleepy so I have to be on my best game no matter if I had a fight the night before, if I’m in a bad mood or didn’t get enough sleep. Then, I log in.
Usually, my members are really nice, but there are also trolls that I have to fight off. Do you remember in high school that bully that just wouldn’t shut up and his whole purpose was to make you feel bad about yourself? It’s the same thing with trolls. That’s their thing, wanting to make you feel bad so they feel better about themselves. They’ll just come into my room and say that I look in a certain way, make me feel bad, saying bad words … they get a kick out of it.
I spend about four hours online at a time before I take a break, or five, depending on how many private sessions I have. What do I do in private shows? I dance, I talk, I laugh or cry. The thing is, everybody thinks this is all shallow, but you create connections with your members, connections that go beyond the so-called sexual aspect. I know so many of my members’ stories, so much about their lives, and they know a lot about mine. I am myself. I don’t play a role. I don’t stall so that I get more money. It’s real and honest and that’s why they keep coming.
The outside world is damaged … so they find peace with me. I find peace with them. I miss them when I go offline. And it’s not just me — there are a lot of cam girls and boys that develop connections with their members, based on respect and communication.
During the day, I receive a lot of requests to meet with some of them. Some ask for my address to send me money, others want to save me from this world that they think I am caught in. I get lots of texts asking how much I charge for sex or for a porno movie. My answer is always the same, “No, we will not meet” or, “I chose to do this job” or even, “My fee for sex and/or a sex movie is your soul and your first born.”
I’ve heard of cam models meeting up with members. I also heard of some of them being impressed with the easy money that they think they’ll earn by seeing them. I also heard about all the bad things that could, and have happened to them. Not a risk I’m willing to take. I value my life and I only do what I want with my body, mind and time.
So, after I leave the studio, I get home and I start thinking about what videos and photos I should do next — what style I should adopt, what food I should cook, how my mom is and whether or not it’s too late to call to check up on her … and if I’m ever going to find a true romantic partner.
And that last question is the hardest. Right now, I know my worth, I know how much I work and why I do it. I know that I wouldn’t get this money if I were to work in a department store or as a secretary. Don’t get me wrong, I respect everyone’s choice of selling themselves, because at the end of the day, that’s what they do, sell themselves for a certain amount of money, but I could never go back to that life of having to look at price tags, to get stuff out of my cart because I don’t have enough money. I’ve been there.
And knowing what you’re worth as a person makes it harder for you to find someone that gets your job and supports you and cares about you as a person, not about your job. That’s the reason a lot of girls end up with guys that are gold diggers — yes, you read it right, men are gold diggers too, because they don’t want to be alone. And I won’t allow myself to be loved any less than I deserve or I can offer.
This is the real life of a cam girl … beautiful, but lonely. So, cheers for the good life, baby!
