Consumers are encouraged to send photos of their posteriors to firstname.lastname@example.org. The rump experts at Stockroom.com will select the 10 best butts, and the winners will receive Stockroom.com gift certificates.
“It’s time that we honored some of our most-admired body parts,” said Andrea Mata, Stockroom’s marketing manager. “April is the perfect month to recognize buttocks since we’ve all been the ‘butt’ of April Fool’s Day jokes over the years. Our real buttocks, however, are definitely the focus of much attention. They’ve been the subject of great art from the Old Masters to modern painters, and they are universally esteemed as a sexy part of the human anatomy.”
“In fact, they are so highly regarded for their sexual allure, that many people have their derrieres augmented to be curvier or reduced to make them slimmer,” Mata continued. “Padded undergarments give them more shape, and exercises are designed to enhance their definition. We select clothes that enhance the appearance of our butts and we worry about them getting too big or too flabby. But, big, small, old, young or somewhere in-between, we’ve all got them, and so we intend to celebrate this wonderful body part as the first in a series of acknowledgements to the human form.”
As part of the festivities, Stockroom.com is offering a discounts on a few of its butt products during the first week of April, including the Wide End Riding Crop, Bootie Cleavage Brief and the Stained Glass Anal Plug.