‘Uncle Jes’ Sentenced on Drug Charges

Described by David Lace Studios as “the luckiest dirty old man in the world,” Criste, 60, was sentenced on Friday after pleading guilty to conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute methamphetamine and conspiracy to launder drug proceeds.

"It was really a no-win situation," Joseph M. Cleary, Criste's attorney, told XBiz on Tuesday. "He had two prior drug felonies. Had he gone to trial, he would have gotten a mandatory life sentence."

Criste had been implicated in connection with shipping more than 50 pounds of methamphetamine to Indianapolis resident Gerald Toon and receiving roughly $125,000 in payment.

According to Assistant United States Attorney Barry D. Glickman, the money laundering charges stem from eight checks stolen from the Indianapolis Public School system that were found deposited in the corporate account for Adults Las Vegas, Criste’s business.

An IPS bookkeeper who was dating Toon admitted to stealing the checks and giving them to him, Glickman said.

Toon was sentenced to 14 years in prison in September.

In addition to 30 years in federal prison, U.S. District Judge John D. Tinder also imposed a ten-year supervised release on Criste once he is released.

According to Cleary, the 30-year sentence is tantamount to a life in prison for Criste, who is currently suffering from medical problems.

"Our hope was that, by pleading guilty, it would make a significant difference in where he was sent after he was sentenced,” said Cleary. “The principal problem is that his health is just not very good. If you’ve got a heart condition that needs real top notch medical care, the Marion County Jail probably isn’t the ideal place to be.”

According to Cleary, Tinder recommended a federal medical care facility for Criste, but the decision is ultimately up to the Bureau of Prisons.

Criste, better known in the adult community as “Uncle Jes,” has his own website.

Criste is also listed on several websites as the Custodian of Records for David Lace Productions.