Al Goldstein Announces U.S. Presidential Candidacy

NEW YORK — Al Goldstein, the former publisher of Screw magazine, has announced his candidacy for the President of the U.S.

Goldstein, who three years ago was homeless, now writes a blog sponsored by adult search engine Booble.com. Booble President Bob Smart will act as Goldstein's campaign manager.

"Al Goldstein is a national treasure," Smart said. "As the world's dirtiest old man, Al has something to say about the world he helped create, and we Americans have a duty to listen."

Goldstein said he figures after having gone to bed with 7,000 women in his career, he's something of an expert at screwing people, which gives him "ideal experience" for the nation's top job.

A self-proclaimed champion of the 1st Amendment — having been arrested 17 times for obscenity — Goldstein said he has a New Yorker's rage at Republican anti-sex, pro-war policies. On the gay marriage issue, he also said he believes homosexuals "should be as miserable as heterosexual people."

Despite his jokes, Goldstein assures skeptics that his candidacy is not a joke.

"I hope to be funny, without being a joke," he said. "My whole life has led me to this moment. I only want to make people smile, and maybe think a little bit before they vote."

Goldstein also said he hopes his candidacy will attract sponsors. Currently running as a democrat, Goldstein may switch to independent because of money issues.

"Without another sponsor," Smart said, "we can't afford to travel Al to the relevant campaign stops ... so we may instead wage an independent campaign, focused on the Internet, radio and the big porn shows, where Al's mostly likely voters will congregate."

Goldstein was once owner of adult studio Milky Way Productions and adult publication Screw magazine but filed for bankruptcy in 2003, leaving roughly $1 million in debt. After moving between homeless shelters and friends' couches, he now lives off of Social Security and recently wrote an autobiography entitled, "I Goldstein."

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More News

Isa Bella, Selena Ivy Topline 'Lesbian Sex 28'

Isa Bella and Selena Ivy headline the latest release from Girlfriends Films, titled “Lesbian Sex 28.”

Catherine Knight Stars in Latest From Brazzers

Catherine Knight stars in the latest release from Brazzers, titled "GRWM (To Fuck)."

Federal Appeals Court Vacates FTC 'Click to Cancel' Rule Pending Review

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 8th Circuit on Tuesday vacated the Federal Trade Commission’s “click-to-cancel” rule aimed at making it easier for consumers to cancel online subscriptions, pending further review.

Elegant Angel Premieres Nicole Kitt Showcase 'Cats Eye'

Nicole Kitt gets the spotlight in a new four-part showcase release from Elegant Angel.

Private Releases 'The Love Hotel 2'

Private has released “The Love Hotel 2,” directed by Dave Menich.

Ember Fiera, Jesse Pony Headline 'TS Girls Do It Best' Sequel From TransSensual

Ember Fiera and Jesse Pony topline the sequel to “TS Girls Do It Best” from Mile High Media studio imprint TransSensual.

Khloe Kapri, Melissa Stratton Topline 'Lesbian Trainer 3' From Sweetheart Video

Khloe Kapri and Melissa Stratton headline the third volume of “Lesbian Trainer” from Mile High Media studio imprint Sweetheart Video.

NYC Adult Stores Lose Challenge to Zoning Law, May Face Relocation

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit on Tuesday upheld a lower court’s decision to allow enforcement of a 2001 zoning law aimed at forcing adult retail stores out of most parts of New York City.

FSC Drops Florida AV Lawsuit in Wake of SCOTUS Decision

A U.S. district court judge granted on Tuesday a motion by Free Speech Coalition to dismiss the trade association’s lawsuit over Florida’s age verification law, a case that had been on hold pending the Supreme Court’s recent ruling on the constitutionality of state AV laws.

Gal Ritchie Toplines Dorcel's 'Pigalle'

2025 XMAs winner Gal Ritchie stars with Clara Mia in the latest feature from Dorcel, titled “Pigalle.”

Show More