Al Goldstein Announces U.S. Presidential Candidacy

NEW YORK — Al Goldstein, the former publisher of Screw magazine, has announced his candidacy for the President of the U.S.

Goldstein, who three years ago was homeless, now writes a blog sponsored by adult search engine Booble.com. Booble President Bob Smart will act as Goldstein's campaign manager.

"Al Goldstein is a national treasure," Smart said. "As the world's dirtiest old man, Al has something to say about the world he helped create, and we Americans have a duty to listen."

Goldstein said he figures after having gone to bed with 7,000 women in his career, he's something of an expert at screwing people, which gives him "ideal experience" for the nation's top job.

A self-proclaimed champion of the 1st Amendment — having been arrested 17 times for obscenity — Goldstein said he has a New Yorker's rage at Republican anti-sex, pro-war policies. On the gay marriage issue, he also said he believes homosexuals "should be as miserable as heterosexual people."

Despite his jokes, Goldstein assures skeptics that his candidacy is not a joke.

"I hope to be funny, without being a joke," he said. "My whole life has led me to this moment. I only want to make people smile, and maybe think a little bit before they vote."

Goldstein also said he hopes his candidacy will attract sponsors. Currently running as a democrat, Goldstein may switch to independent because of money issues.

"Without another sponsor," Smart said, "we can't afford to travel Al to the relevant campaign stops ... so we may instead wage an independent campaign, focused on the Internet, radio and the big porn shows, where Al's mostly likely voters will congregate."

Goldstein was once owner of adult studio Milky Way Productions and adult publication Screw magazine but filed for bankruptcy in 2003, leaving roughly $1 million in debt. After moving between homeless shelters and friends' couches, he now lives off of Social Security and recently wrote an autobiography entitled, "I Goldstein."

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More News

Juniper Ren Toplines Bryan Gozzling's 'Hookup Hotshot: Internet Sex Addicts Volume 6'

Juniper Ren headlines director Bryan Gozzling’s “Hookup Hotshot: Internet Sex Addicts Volume 6” from Evil Angel.

Brittany Andrews Stars in Latest From Pervz

Brittany Andrews stars with Mike Ox in a new scene from Pervz series PervPrincipal, titled “MILF Principal Makes a Dirty Deal with a Student.”

Ariel Demure Leads Latest From TransSensual

Reigning XMAs Trans Performer of the Year Ariel Demure stars with Adam X Lee and Mark X in the latest scene from Mile High Media studio imprint TransSensual, titled “Two Dicks and a Drildo Does the Trick.”

Sarah Arabic Stars in Latest From Brazzers

Sarah Arabic stars with Victor Ray in the latest release from Brazzers, titled “First Time Cheater, First Time Anal.”

Chloe Temple Returns to Immoral Productions

Chloe Temple stars in a Christmas-themed trilogy from Immoral Productions, alongside Dean Van Damme and Charlie Dean.

Munro Blaxxx Makes Her Hookup Hotshot Debut

Munro Blaxxx has made her Hookup Hotshot (HUHS) debut alongside studio honcho Bryan Gozzling.

Lilly Bell Leads Latest Release From Vampired

Reigning XMAs Girl/Girl Performer of the Year Lilly Bell stars with Melody Marks in the latest release from Vampired, titled "Immortal Hunger."

Kyaa Chimera Fronts Latest From MYLF

Kyaa Chimera stars with Juan Loco in the latest release from MYLF, titled "Secret Recipe Requires a Creamy Collaboration."

Arcom-Targeted Sites Implement Age Verification in France

Five high-traffic adult websites based outside of France have implemented age verification as required under the nation’s Security and Regulation of the Digital Space (SREN) law, after receiving warnings from French media regulator Arcom.

Goddess Lilith Launches 'Adultpreneurs' Networking Site

Goddess Lilith has launched Adultpreneurs, a new community and networking site.

Show More