HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Director Will Ryder met a real “Jersey Boy” when he was invited back stage to meet music legend Frankie Valli at a recent concert.
"It was a wonderful performance and I was star-struck to be truthful but in the back of my mind I was wondering if Mr. Valli had been tipped off that I was the son-of-a-bitch that pornified his beloved Four Seasons, the Broadway musical and the Clint Eastwood directed movie with my ‘Jersey Boys XXX A Porn Musical.’ I was quite nervous I mean the guy used to hang out with Frank Sinatra for God's sake and I didn't want to end up in a trash can."
Ryder has helmed some of the most creative adult parodies including spoofs of shows like “The Brady Bunch,” “The Cosby Show,” “Charlie's Angels,” “Grease” and the “Wizard of Oz." But he said sidling up in-person for a photo and some conversation with the Four Seasons music legend in the middle of his dressing was a highlight of his career.
"So I get on a plane and fly far away to where he's performing and I'm sitting all alone at the show four rows from center stage watching this really wonderful concert filled with some of the greatest music of all time and I'm thinking to myself what have I done? I can't believe I put so many naked horny girls and silly songs into a parody spoofing this beloved man's career."
Ryder said that attending the concert alone might have been a clue that this was a risky mission. "I asked a couple of young girls if they wanted to come to the Frankie Valli concert but they all replied, ‘Frankie Valli?.....Is he a DJ?’” At that point Ryder determined this was a suicidal journey best served solo.
"As each song was sung, I was ridden with a deepening sense of remorse that I've never felt before even though I kept telling myself it's just a spoof he's gonna love it."
After the last encore was greeted by a standing ovation, Ryder was invited backstage for a beer because his former career as a professional touring musician afforded him some unique music industry contacts. "I told a couple of guys in his band what I had done in creating this porn movie and the smiles just melted off their faces and some of them actually peeled away from me as if the fire alarm had gone off. Frankie was obviously a man not to be fucked with."
Things went from bad to worse when Ryder was ushered into the personal dressing room to meet Valli. "It was like going to the Vatican to meet the Pope so I could confess my sins," Ryder recalled.
"Deep in my heart I knew I had committed no mortal incursion but when you turn 'Big Girls Don't Cry' into 'Big Tits Don't Lie' and you change the lyrics and melody of another hit song from 'You’re just too good to be true...Can’t take my eyes off of you' to 'You're just too good to be screwed...Can't take my dick out of you,' well you might just be a little nervous."
Ryder said Valli greeted him like a friend and the two conversed about music with Ryder recalling exactly where he was when he heard the Four Seasons on the radio for the first time.
"He did a really good job of pretending like he was interested in what I was saying and maybe he was but when it came time to tell him about the porn parody, my lips froze. I couldn't muster up the courage to tell this nice 80-year old man that I might be a horrible person for doing what I had done or maybe I didn't want to disappoint him like a young son fearful of disappointing his father after he crashes the family car. I mean the guy has so much history with such great songs and here I am turning 'Sherry' into 'Hairy' and requesting the character have her pubic hair chopped off with a giant three-foot pair of scissors. I'm pretty sure I punched my ticket to hell with this one. Oh yeah, I do want to add that I produced this movie with Scott David of X-Play."
Current plans are for the DVD to be shipped to Valli during his tour at an upcoming hotel so he can watch it on his tour bus with the band because Ryder now feels he needs an answer. "With the movie getting the second most adult industry award nominations of any other movie this year, my confidence is up and I really want to know what Frankie Valli thinks … long distance that is."
The movie’s trailer can be seen on on YouTube.
Photo courtesy of Ryder.