opinion

Hey Melaya

Gram Ponante
The Ronald Reagan Library exerts a powerful force over me, and it was at the Quizno's at the base of its hill that I learned I would not be Pope, so it isn't often that I move from Porn Valley to Snore'n Valley. But at the request of my pal and bodyguard, BadAss Frank (Not to be confused with his Glatt cousin, BallPark Frank), I went to see Melaya, the newest signatory of a BadAss Models contract.

Melaya, 21, was babysitting, and the sound of a pianosaurus wafted through the window.

GP: Which mainstream celebrity, do you think, would make porn acceptable if she were to do a porn scene?
M: Probably Hillary Duff.
GP: What do you do when you're not being done?
M: On Tuesdays and Thursdays I teach a class at the gym here in Simi Valley.
GP: Can you be anonymous in this Valley? Do people recognize you?
M: No. No one has ever mentioned it, even when I wear my "I Swallow" t-shirt. People can't seem to put two and two together.
GP: Do you worry that when you become extra-famous you will lose your anonymity?
M: I'm not really worried about that. I'd like to keep going until the industry is done with me, whenever that is.

Melaya has one tattoo, which is her wedding ring.

GP: How does your husband feel about the business you do every day but Tuesdays and Thursdays?
M: He likes to stay home and pretend that nothing is going on. He doesn't go to trade shows and stuff.
GP: How long have you been married?
M: Since a few months after I started in the industry, which was March of 2002.
GP: Are you a very sexual person?
M: Yes. There is nothing that really scares me.
GP: But was there anything that was a first for you when you entered the industry?
M: I hadn't done anal until the day I shot an anal scene.
GP: Which movie do you think represents you best?
M: Red Light District's Black Poles Cumming in White Holes. I haven't seen it, but the scene was fun to film. It was with Sean Michaels and Brian Pumper.
GP: Have you done interracial in your daily life?
M: No, and no DP's either. When my (ex) agent was reading down the list of things I would and would not do in porn, he said 'DP?' and I didn't know what one was -
GP: So on the set - ?
M: I found out.

Melaya, despite being from California, has a Wisconsin accent like her mother's. Her mother picked out her porn name, which is pronounced like the last three syllables of "Himalaya."

GP: Being at such a physical remove from the San Fernando Valley, do you have many friends in the adult industry?
M: I don't have any friends in the adult industry.
GP: Gram Is Your Friend.™
M: Even my own friends don't know!
GP: How would you prefer they found out?
M: If they saw me in a very good scene, then asked me.

GP: What is your favorite Black Sabbath song?
M: I don't remember song titles; I just remember track numbers on CDs.
GP: What are your favorite Black Sabbath track numbers?

Melaya likes Metallica, System of A Down, and other hard rock bands.

GP: What are your thoughts on the Armenian Genocide?
M: I don't really keep up with that stuff.
GP: What do you think is the future of porn in Glendale?
M: I know they like it there.

This is Melaya's first interview as a porn starlet. I tell her that other people in the industry ask certain stock questions, so we decided to try some role-playing.

DCypher: Would you dye your hair red for me?
M: Yes. It was really red in high school, so I looked good.
Tod-Hunter: What is your favorite Disney film?
M: Sleeping Beauty.
Lurk Ford: Should Israel unilaterally withdraw from lands it has stolen from the Palestinians since 1967?
M: I don't know too much about that stuff. Yes?
Paul Fishbein: Would you retire when you married me?
M: I don't know how rich you'd have to be. Financially it would really have to be worth it.

Melaya is available through BadAssModels

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